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St. Jerome in the Wilderness

Master, Master come to me,

                                                                                            Savior, Savior hear my plea.           

O Lord I understand my punishment.

I will not flee this banishment.

Until a time that you are done,

For you alone art the holy one.

Through temptation I have stayed,

Loyal in your gaze and unafraid.

I bear my cross as you bore yours,

Even with the window outdoors.

I use this quill to help you Lord,

As I hear the echo of a far off chord.

I praise your name to the land,

And rejoice when I hear the voices of the sand.

Amen, Amen I say to thee,

Amen, Amen please set me free.

2 knives, in each side..
2 eyes burning through my heart..
empty fragments, words drifting in & out of the past
memories turn to ash as we sift them around the palms of our hands..
crippled & gone.. time to move on.
to solidify my dreams..
hate myself.. waste of space, waste of air..
I dove into hell.
God please pull me back together, stitch up these ripped seams..

you're like the blade dragged across my stomach
or the scorching flame against my bare skin...
I want you out of my life
I want you up from under this skin
demons, demons, I can't let you win..
for I am not your kin...

everthing I want, I cannot have.
all that I reach for, I cannot grab..
the rainest of days bring me back to visions i've attempted to smudge out with you..
I guess it was easier on the other end.
but who's to say where & when...

covered in blood, pushed into the mud, I will stand up again.
open scars, out of breath, I must remain relentless.
shadows chasing me, run run, but they consumed all the light..
crouched in fright, nails dug into my back
they're trying to pin down these wings...
hoping i'll never take flight.
using all my energy to break away, fight them off with all my might, all my will...
but they keep whispering "kill... kill.."

legion, you've defiled me,
for you are the fallen, in unity.
this cross lays heavy on my back..
I think i'm starting to crack.
my barriers are thin & I wish I could let God in
but there's just one set of footprints in the sand
no savior to hold my hand
freezing cold.
the ocean looks like a black hole..
if I were to set sail, how could I ever return?
i'd be spun around in circles, triangles, squares
what would I learn?

even though the sun still shines
even though some of the grass is still green
even though there are plenty of trees
I cant stop looking down.. down on me.
the hail is sharp from this dark cloud.
storm hovers above.
I try to clear it out, but I can't with no love

depleted but not empty
awakened in the midst of deep sleep
dead in this life
strife impailed
left hung, waiting to burn..
I never dug my own grave
I only ever cried to be saved.

This is a revolution

Hear now what the children cry

Wake now from confusion

Your Savior stands in the sky

Your time is fast approaching

Life or loss, the choice is yours

Quickly, now, in this moment

Before time secures its doors

Can’t you see

Can’t you feel

Can’t you tell

The conflict’s real

That we war

For your soul

To leave you empty

Or make you whole

Here He stands while the battle rages

You want to destroy yourself

Give up to the Rock of Ages

Only He saves people from Hell

He calls to let Him save you

He wants to give you life

All He asks is that you believe Him

For your old self give Him the knife

Put to death your old self

Crucify your lusts forever

Bury them, six feet deep

Never to rise, forever to sleep

All this for the love of God

All this for your own sake

All of this to tell others

Veracity from fake

Can’t you see

Can’t you feel

Can’t you tell

The conflict’s real

That we war

For your soul

To leave you empty

Or make you whole

The time is now

The time is here

Why wait now

What do you fear?

I'm not who you think I am
I'm not unbreakable
I'm not bulletproof
I still feel pain
Everyone calls me a hero
A savoir
But I think there's only one savoir myself
I've never thought of myself as important
I'm just doing what's right
I get a lot of prestige from that
A lot of things I've never asked for
But I'll give it all away in an instant
If you want me to
I know everyone needs saving sometimes
Even you
I've seen you cry
I've seen your pain
I've seen your darkness
Deep within
I can save you
I can be your hero
To spirit you away
If you just let me
If you trust me
And you can save me
Because you're my hero too