Screaming

Hopeless Idiot takes Philadelphia

Confused,

Is how I came to you,

as an 18 year old,

and I imagine it's how I'll leave,

 

I,

hold no grudge,

Because you have taught me,

All there is to teach,

a young man,

 

You,

stood by me,

As choas,

buried my curly head beneath currents,

no one could see,

 

At,

depths noone,

could ever hope to reach,

 

You,

stood agast,

As I stumbled,

ass backward,

Into the stupidest things,

 

I've,

Ever said,

 

to the kindest women,

I'd ever meet,

 

You,

laugh with me, astonished,

As my dull gaze,

tries to make sense of a world,

That is honestly not that fucking complicated,

 

You,

watch my shoulders ache,

my checks flare,

As I internalized the latest,

grave injustice placed upon me (sad),

 

You watch me miss that doctors appointment again.

 

And,

You.

Like everyone else,

Wonder,

Why the hell do I tolerate this idiot?

 

But you do,

And it shatters me with warmth.

 

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Sugar and Cyanide

Feeling alive,

sugar and cyanide,

bursting into flames,

thoughts twinkle

and teeter on the edge,

crashing all the walls down,

collages formed,

pictures of us catch

fire,

faults start to form,

appears like cracks in mirrors,

screams scorch anything

you every said,

the I love you's,

the I will be there,

was lies,

not taking it I

try to stop the tapes,

try to stop

the memories,

pressing stop

I take out the film,

wanting the end

I cuddle up to you,

looking into your black eyes,

I take out a match,

igniting the spark I light your body on fire,

not even feeling I walk away without

looking back,

no more of the I love you again,

grow up,

when a heart

break it never breaks even,

never do a women wrong,

don't play with fire if you can't

 

handle the bright fire

I can hear you

As I lay in my room with you thinking I'm dreaming of the day gone, I hear you cutting into oneanother with words, screams, shouts, and insults. You both smoke because if you didn't let anger out on eachother or let it out in a cigarette you'd probably explode or going into a tear soked, pain induced, hatred caused, depression.

 

When I finally do sleep and you have run out of razors I dream of a world where war was a nightmare of politicans and never existed. This world is where a smile meant some thing and the only four letter words were hope, love, care, and glad. Sad and hurt were feeling you got only when you fell but you went home to your mother and father and everything became alright. The only tears shed were tears of joy.

 

I'm awake and you're at it again with the razors you found under the bed throwing them at eachother. Some you missed and others were direct hits. PLEASE JUST STOP.

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End Me (While I Want It) - May 7, 2012

Worthless, a word with common speak interlaced,

Describes me so well in a fashion so perfect.

I have no meaning, no use, no love or place;

I want to be displaced; from life be erased.

 

So come and end me, come slit my throat;

Come suffocate me, and watch me choke.

Don't hesitate, I wanna prolong this pain;

Have no mercy, just play it like a game.

 

Tie my arms, my feet, restrain and throw me;

Into a tank of boiling tar you'll force me.

Scattered inside are razors so gleaming;

So pleasing is that music of me screaming.

 

Take serrated blades, rip my wrists apart;

Carve out my eyes, like the hopes in my heart.

Drain my blood, drink it like a fucking wine;

So sweet, delicious; it's the end of my time.

 

Rip out my fucking heart and tear it apart,

There's no love left in me to give anyways.

Carve out my chest cavity, it's divine art;

Hollow me, use me like a fucking ashtray.

 

Hold down my hands, tear off my fingernails;

Hang them as bloody ornaments so pleasing.

Screaming agonized joy, my heart now fails;

Just kill me now, this wish so diseasing.

 

So take a hammer, smash in my worthless face;

Stomp on my remains, now but a disgrace.

Digest my flesh, make me part of your soul;

Feel my corpse, touch the walls of my skull.

 

Lock me in a chair, force my eyes open wide,

Make me witness the horrors of real genocide.

My screaming only intensifies this pain;

On the floor is a growing red bloodstain.

 

Take my corpse, throw it in the sea's midst,

With anchors tied tightly to my rotten chest.

Let not one piece or memory of me remain,

So I'll be forgotten and all will be the same.

 

I don't care how, just please end me quickly;

You know, there's a reason for my death plea.

I'm sick of hurting others, sick of being me,

Sick of being the one to cause all the misery.

 

It's not that I would normally wish to die,

But at this point I can now seem to find,

I've brought this unto myself, can't deny,

So please kill me before I change my mind.

 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

(This was written purely for entertainment.)

Dreams Make It Alright

You're Not a Prophet,

Just the Prince of Probability,

Not a Sinner,

Just a Social Square,

Your Eyes are Rough Cut Diamonds,

Heart's an Old Rocking Chair,


You Exist in Thick-Streams of Heavy Smoke,

Living on Borrowed Time,

The Headlines are Screaming,

Life's a Joke,

But the Funnies say You're Doing Just Fine,


When We Dream,

We Construct the Whole World,

That We Wake to in the Morning Light,

When it Seems,

That Dreams,

Not Your Kind of World,

Go Back to Sleep and Dream it Right

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