February.22.1995
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins
Tear drops fill my eyes
As i start to cry
I think of you
I ask myself why
Why the pain i feel inside
Why the heartaches
I wish this wasn't true
Because i truly love you
But it doesn't matter
Because my heart is torn in two
I wish I could sue
For a broken heart
But no one really knew
I miss you so much
Your special look
It's gone
Your special touch
That's gone too
We'll have our memories
Of the good times though
But the last tear falls from my eye
That is the tear drop
Never again
I must cry
Copyright
September.14.1998
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
Look into this heart of mine
Look down deep and low
And see if you can find
How hard it is to show
How it feels when your around
Tell me what you feel...What you hear
Explain the unexplained sound
Could it be this falling tear
Look into this heart of mine
When you came into my world one day
See how my eyes opened and shined
I was speechless and nothing to say
Because the first time i laid my eyes on you
I wanted you from the start
I can see in your eyes your true
Now i know i can give you my heart
Copyright*
Worthless, a word with common speak interlaced,
Describes me so well in a fashion so perfect.
I have no meaning, no use, no love or place;
I want to be displaced; from life be erased.
So come and end me, come slit my throat;
Come suffocate me, and watch me choke.
Don't hesitate, I wanna prolong this pain;
Have no mercy, just play it like a game.
Tie my arms, my feet, restrain and throw me;
Into a tank of boiling tar you'll force me.
Scattered inside are razors so gleaming;
So pleasing is that music of me screaming.
Take serrated blades, rip my wrists apart;
Carve out my eyes, like the hopes in my heart.
Drain my blood, drink it like a fucking wine;
So sweet, delicious; it's the end of my time.
Rip out my fucking heart and tear it apart,
There's no love left in me to give anyways.
Carve out my chest cavity, it's divine art;
Hollow me, use me like a fucking ashtray.
Hold down my hands, tear off my fingernails;
Hang them as bloody ornaments so pleasing.
Screaming agonized joy, my heart now fails;
Just kill me now, this wish so diseasing.
So take a hammer, smash in my worthless face;
Stomp on my remains, now but a disgrace.
Digest my flesh, make me part of your soul;
Feel my corpse, touch the walls of my skull.
Lock me in a chair, force my eyes open wide,
Make me witness the horrors of real genocide.
My screaming only intensifies this pain;
On the floor is a growing red bloodstain.
Take my corpse, throw it in the sea's midst,
With anchors tied tightly to my rotten chest.
Let not one piece or memory of me remain,
So I'll be forgotten and all will be the same.
I don't care how, just please end me quickly;
You know, there's a reason for my death plea.
I'm sick of hurting others, sick of being me,
Sick of being the one to cause all the misery.
It's not that I would normally wish to die,
But at this point I can now seem to find,
I've brought this unto myself, can't deny,
So please kill me before I change my mind.
Flying free
Away from here
My love branded me
Now nothing to fear
Nothing to lose
Everything's gone
All I have left
Is a new song
Now I'm free to fly
Away from here
No hold over me
Not one tear
My body is burned
By death of passion
Now all alone
Demise my ration
My ashes will fly
On the wings of the breeze
And you'll remember my love
In the whispers of the trees
For though I am free
I'm not leaving, hear?
And the remembrance of me
Will haunt you my dear
This freedom...; is it free?
Or is it just my apathy
Chilling the coals that once burned
Before your ice did make them turn
Now ashes are all thats left of my love
Look down on me good God above!
See the pain that's slit open my veins
See all the tears that are hidden in rains
See how my dreams were dashed on what's real
See how loving of death I now feel
And all the while I can see her grinning
This I know: Death is just the beginning
So again I ask, Is freedom free
Or is it just a wish for me?
Who knew I could make ashes from cinders?
Who knew that Snow could be made of heat?
Who knew that always doesn't mean forever?
Who knew that my loss could make me complete?
Flying free
Away from here
My love burned me
Now nothing to fear
Nothing to lose
Everything's gone
All I have left
Are the words of a song
Free to fly
Away from here
Nothing to hold me
Not one tear
My ashes will fly
On the wings of the breeze
And you'll hear my love
In the whispers of the trees
Who knew I could make ashes from cinders?
Who knew that Snow could be made of heat?
Who knew that love doesn't last forever?
Who knew that loss could make me complete?
Tear down the walls,
with all your strife.
Break through the glass,
with love and life.
Snap through the sky,
and burn down their hearts,
'till their knee-deep,
in their blood that you keep.
your the tear that came from this eye // but you began to drip down & slowly died // you used to be my everything but now i see everything // the truths // the lies // the who's // the whys // girl i loved it when you was shy // but now it feels like you on that sifi // everyday u began to transform // clouds that began to add up to a storm // i remembered when you used to be my prime // now it feels like you're worthless then a dime // & i aint sorry to say cuz it was only a matter of time // before i grew up & learned from the pain // it help me evolve into something that i cant explain // but its for the better cuz it turned out to be something good // yea i understand you used my heart like if it was firewood // but i rose from the ashes // yea you aint think i could // & now that im ten times the person that i was // u wanna come back like what // nah pause // yea i kno i used to make that wish that would stay printed in these viens // & hoped that someday you'll feel the same so maybe i shouldnt complain // but that was in the past where now i only see bloodstains // im on my new high // & like the past im done // no more making wishes on airplanes.
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