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A blink, a breath,

A heartbeat away.

We own not, tomorrow-

Nor even, today.

Here but only briefly,

A mere moment of all time.

Will we ever grow old?

Or pass away, in our prime?

In the grand scheme of life,

It matters not, when or where.

But how we lived in each moment,

Of all our joys, and our despair.

So tell them, you love them-

While your heart is still beating,

For we own not, tomorrow,

And today...is so fleeting...

I had a HORRIBLE Nightmare last night that I was Dying.. And, the only way for me to live was to drink a lot of Water... 

I kept trying to drink Water, but, I couldn't swallow it! I tried so hard to drink the Water, but, I just couldn't get it to go down my throat! I was freaking out!

 After trying to drink Water, for what seemed like hours, I managed to get a couple, little, drops of Water down my throat... I had to force those drops of Water to go down my throat with all of my might!! 

Then, I FINALLY Woke Up in a Panic, and, I was sooo Relieved that it was only a dream.. Phew!!!

A daughter sits at the bedside,

Of her dying dad,

Wishing for more time,

And the life that they once had....

She stays with him all morning,

she gently pats his hand,

watching this transpire before me,

was more than I can stand....

she sings and prays with him,

while sitting by his bed,

I can hardly contain my emotions,

as she strokes his head....

I pace in and out of the door,

trying to let her know,

That I am here to help,

And that I love her so....

she never leaves his side,

as he slips away,

into the arms of Jesus,

On this peaceful sunny day.....

1. You are not special because you have a sadness that sleeps within your spine.

You do not require attention.

No one has to love you.

2. Vicodin will not ease your pain. 

It will not bring back your unborn children.

They will not make him un-touch you.

They do not make you more alive.

3. Rum is not a cure for not feeling your body in the morning.

It doesn't make him love you.

It doesn't make your mother care.

4. Sad songs do not make you feel better.

Sad songs aren't a fix for your broken heart.

Do not relate to them.

5. Your therapist is right.

Do not ignore her.

Do not take more pills.

6. Do not sleep with him.

He does not love you.

He can't fix you.

Fix yourself.

7. Do not read old blood stained suicide notes.

They are not beautiful.

Do not be proud.

8. You are not beautiful.

You are dying.

Stop saying his name.

Stop painting his name in red.

9.You are dying.

Stop wishing for him.

You are dying. 

He doesn't love you.

10. You are dying.

Stop fighting the paramedics.

Please just don’t leave me alone

In the dark, with my dreams

Alone, forgotten, lost

Dying with a broken smile on the mask

That covers my face

With a lying mirror

Showing a picture that isn’t me

That isn’t how I feel

Laugh to yourself

All the while thinking that I’m fine

While I die inside

..........

(photo from lightworkers.org)

he feels dejected,

grim, down-in-the-mouth,

mirthless, mournful, 

moody and droopy,

dragged, trite,

and nothing is right, 

anguished, forlorn,

woeful in the depths of despair.

he tries to think 

of sweetest memories,

but as he casts his 

grappling hook to 

secure his ascent

over the walls he's built,

the rope becomes 

frayed and breaks.

the weight of his 

guilt has grown too 

ponderous, and his

spine too soft to

bear the rigors 

of the climb that he

now sees he must 

journey on his own.

sinking deeper into

his abyss he struggles 

to remember something 

other than this limbo

of darkness and dread,

the disbelief of this reality

he fails again and again

to overcome, and desperation sets in.

clinging to old feelings,

and the desire for a love 

long gone, he withers

in a sea of hopelessness,

and every good memory

takes him back to the 

bottom of this wallowing 

pit of sorrow and pain.

people pass by,

some with compassionate

flurries of empathy

that quickly ferment to feed 

the destruction of any 

aspirations for change,

and the nature of his misery

flourishes unto his bitter end.

he thought she was his world,

and now she's gone,

moved on to another dimension

on the wings of a dove,

to blaze new trails without him,

but his mind cannot accept

that was the whole purpose of 

their meeting in this life.

she came to prepare him

for this dark night of the soul,

and his task is to overcome it,

he listens for her voice

to soothe him as it did before,

and the scorching fires of 

truth that strip his soul naked

have left him angry and inflexible.

and when he sleeps, 

she watches 

through timeless portals,

the man she left behind, 

and wonders 

if he'll ever pass

the test 

of this lifetime.

he doesn't seem 

to understand her whispers in the dark,

he only understands the love they had so long ago,

he's trapped in something 

only he can bring unto an end,

or wander in his denial, his heart never to mend,

for unbeknownst to him this lifetime is his only chance

for them to ever have another lifetime in this dance.

11:41 PM 8/7/2013  ©

..............

.........

honesty can, and

has been known

to strangle

arteries of 

bleeding love 

that feed a 

beating heart,

but flowers 

that never reach 

their intended 

destination 

only leave their 

scent. 

to live half 

of  a life 

is like 

not even 

living  at all, 

but  the seeds 

of dying  flowers 

disagree. 

5:48 PM 8/1/2013 ©

.......

..............

One rainy day I peered into the window of your soul,

The shattered pieces of your life, like a shroud to fill the hole,

A roomful of confusion, was the story left behind,

A teardrop dons a cheek or two, life's end can be unkind,

This solemn stage is deafening as soldiers come to call,

The pinned lapels are like trophied shelves adorning a blackened wall,

And as I toss the single rose atop the earthen mound,

I toss my sun... My moon... My stars...

My life, into .the ground.

2012 ©

.............

The Magic in the Stars is Dying

Flickers of Colored Boxed Light at Dead-End Avenue

Legs Streched, Crossed

Steady Hum-Drum-Hum

Pictures Hanging Off the Wall

Explore In-Out-In-Out

Beautiful Countryless Flag Blowing in the Wind

Stars All Up-Above You Anyway

One Star

Births Us All Maniacs

Births Us All Paranoids

Births Us All Lovers

Births Us All Simple-Circuits

The Dim-Lit-Bright Ones Make Connect-the-Dot Pictures

All Us All Dying In 

All Us All Dying Out

We Stare at Them But Answer Only In Questions

On Night Sky Play Pythagorean Theorem

On Piano

On Rain-Dust

On Kitchen Spoons

On Cloud-Morning-Coffeee Cups

On Night Sky Lay Backs Wet-Painted-Grass-Staines

Of Fourth of July Explosions that Tickle-Backs and Trickle Down to Earth

Of the Stars That are Wispered and Hush Buddah Dolls Sold in Stores for Printed Paper-Making-Money-Class

Good for Old

Bad for New

Something to Reach For

Something Miracle-Cure-is-ness

Something of Every Godt to Exizt

Something of Nothing

Do a Rain Dance

Kill Like the Sun

Pantomime All Winter 

Using Only Thumb and Forefinger

Things of Wonder

Caught in Nets of Rational Brain

A Few Break Free

Begin to Ponder

Like We All Did Younger

Underneath Blankets and Covers

With Flashlights Lit Like Dampened Diamond Signals to the Sky

Like We All Died Older

Finished Caught in Painted This

An Endingless Kiss

They are All Our Eyes

We are Everyone

The Magic in ther Stars is Crying

Not Far From Us