The beast inside…
© 2017 SachikoMochiko " Sachi Ruaya
What’s worse than killing someone? Leaving them suffering alive. Now, whether or not they suffer is up to them…
Cracks…that’s how the light comes in.
You found that someone,
Who you deem; is the last piece of you
O’ but that one…that other one just "
…
How long will your grip hold?
It’s a dark feeling; jealousy
Where green, grey and black swirls weave your heart
Like steel, poison ivy
As your blood curdles and boils,
your red-laced eyes eyeball
That one who touched your precious
Your precious gem that you admire from afar.
Your precious one, who births a hazy warm chest.
Your precious half…the other fading half of you.
But you refrain from killing
And instead of making arrangements to prey,
You keep that one alive but suffering from your fangs
Your inner beast lurks inside,
already devoured half of you and yourself.
Its true form will not feast unless you do
Your fangs…its fangs bite, drawing thick, oozy blood
Of the one you hold captive in your prison
All for that one precious one, you shed blood
Your bite…your torture…your beast
Is a reflection of the steel, poison ivy
Is a being born from your selfishness…your jealousy
But you continue to feast even when you know
Know that this beast will soon consume your flesh, Bone-clean
Because pleasure will come from ones’ suffering
You are blinded by the beast; your scarlet eyes see no more,
the beauty of your precious gem…
Blurry. Vivid. Pitch-black.
You have lost sight of your intentions,
And your precious gem’s light is no more
Now, you know: You. Are. Devoured.
You sit there on the bottom of the beast’s stomach
Living with the pure darkness of your own
Alone. With your crackling, dry heart -unable to love
After all, you were just blind.
Destined to lurk in darkness.
Emptiness. Your skin slowly peels off from the dry darkness
Slowly…painfully, in this prison, the veil is ripped
Revealing something undeniably powerful
You.
The bleeding wounds of which the skin is peeled
Thus, shunned the lies and unveils the truth
The truth of you embedded inside -within the beast
…
The light suppresses the dry darkness
With your passion, memories, joy and love
You slice through the belly…striving for freedom once more!
Author’s Note:
This is one of the small fragments to ready one of my upcoming masterpiece. I will write more poems like this (having the same motivational force). WORRY is next.
Aiwass, from Thy love of lost Pagan things,
Reincarnation of Crowley as the Beast 666.
Most beloved of Ordo Templi Orientis,
Let me invoke Him!
She stepped out into the night
From out of the Nightmare came a cry
The creature's somber humming ever so quiet
luring the unsuspecting into a frenzy
She is all that stands between
a world of ire and a world of light
The shadows writhe in horror;
their ghastly creation a pale abhorrence
She was to be their Chosen One
A warrior angled to live more
than just a hollow existence
The souls were as bright as the stars
But unearthly blood stained the
tips of her hair, her sword, and her solace
Drop by drop it tinged the ground
The beastly burden of loss
The last chance to take a final breath
And all of it- gone.
No second chance.
However, the silence hungers and from
the fires she wakes
She steps out onto the plains
A blizzard creeps down her spine
The Demon Ruins she must bide
One last stop to sharpen the blade
Fill up the flask and check her Faith
The fool she may be
But bathed in blood, a kingdom undone
She will walk the unknown, let her story unfold
To find the truth
To end the curse
...of Winter Blood
From nightmare to nightmare ,
Life is a heartless beast
tearing you apart
until you're just a bleeding pulp.
Until you're so beaten
you wish you could escape.
But you will heal
undoubtedly you'll survive.
Beaten but not defeated
and stronger for the fight.
You'll stand tall
and show them all.
Beasts come in many forms,
they can be made or they can be born.
When your strengths become your weaknesses,
This can push gifts toward the worse.
So many questions to be answered
Yet there was no one to turn to.
Uncertainly blocked any progress,
The beast thrashes in return.
Proceeding instability,
Emotions set in quick.
Falsify, or repeat rejection of true self.
Normal normal,
What more could anyone want you to be?
Be quiet, be patience,
Be able to control thy self.
Little pedestal child,
With misunderstood needs.
Craved attention, meaning, and knowledge,
But was left to her own unease.
15 years later...
What? WHAT?!
I've never read about myself in such a fashion.
Overwhelming sensations appear.
Thoughts and feelings become clear,
only to bring on a new fear.
What now? and how?
So many thoughts,
So many steps.
I will make peace with the beast if its the last thing I do.
I once loved an angel
A pretty mystery
Who took joy
In her freedom to fly
Far above life’s pains
Never tied to anyone
Never sorrow known
Never a tear on her face
Never sadness shown
Then she met me
A sorry, troubled beast
Who once had loved another
But lost her to the wind
Whose wings were firm and strong
And whose heart was hard as steel
But melted at the sight of her
Stood in awe at the sight of her
She tied herself to me
And gave to me her wings
Never to fly once more
Never again to leave
But I knew she was meant to fly
And like a bird in a cage
Although she sang so sweetly
I could easily see her pain
So I give you my wings my angel
Don’t cry for me anymore
I made my choice
Now you can fly
Through the sky once more
And when you come back down
Remember me
I’ll be here
With scars you won’t see
Where my wings used to be
But I’ll smile all the same
And quietly call your name
Because redemption you were to me
For all eternity
I didn’t know what to make of her. That sly innocent smile or perhaps those enchanting eyes as she was obviously concealing some deep secret. Whatever it was, I was hooked. Like a dime store junkie I needed her, I wanted her. I could feel a part of me had melted away, but I did not care. Her eyes told me so. Willing to cast aside all my burdens, just to be apart of this rare person's life.
For years I have walked a road of broken dreams, barefoot and knee deep in the agony. Feeling lost in a world of full of maps and road signs, where everyone is quick to offer up directions to go no where fast. As your shadows quickly catch up to you and now you begin to question, the purpose behind the encounter. Through thick or thin all one can do is continue to walk, following their heart as their feet lead them towards their dreams. After walking on broken hopes and false promises for so long, you grow numb and your passion withers as you go blind from the desperation. Giving in to the fake idols, and hungry vultures ready to feast on your body as you fall.
Too much time spent dwelling on the past, on the negativity. Painful memories that only seem to remind me of all the unattainable dreams. Where hope becomes the only tangible course of action to take. For when you cannot see the path before you through the thicket. It's hope that guides you as you march forward when every sign points behind you. Turn back, the voices shout.
'How could I have been so naive as to believe that such a creature as I could be loved. I have allowed too many succubi to break me, A vixen in disguise as she tears out my heart and feasts upon the remains. For a moment before the pain there is a mosaic of happiness. Blinded by my own temptations I followed without any hesitations. I became oblivious to the world around me as I lavished in the ecstasy that was the peace she bestowed to my mind. My senses explored every aspect of this apparition. I could not help but wonder if selling my soul was worth the few moments of bliss I experienced with this vampire. In an era of time where I am not bombarded with the depraved and the obscene, We truly were the beauty and the beast.'
Now in the moment, the deed is once again done, the same familiar sting of irony swarms my mind and takes my thoughts. A part of me accepts this fate, however a question does spark the imagination on just how the ending will be played out. My ever lasting soul on trial, for a moment of happiness. A memory, and now the devil may take my pride. For I will conquer my passion once again and set claim to her smile. I now possess from a simple memory, the catalyst for my hope.
Vulture's thirst,
rapier vision.
Grace reversed,
inquisition.
Stoic mass,
contemplating.
Upper class,
salivating.
Lumbering
interruption.
Numbering
deconstruction.
Poisoned weather,
breath is tiring.
Clung together,
mute inquiring.
In formation,
hunger blinds.
Sweet oblation,
blood is wine.
Helpless screams,
rendered faint.
Crimson dreams,
splattered paint.
Jealous treasure,
wounded beast.
Sate your pleasure,
in the feast.
We won't pardon,
those who transgress,
God's special wardens,
when they won't confess.
So can we the guilty,
in His Court today,
deny we're as filthy,
as dark birds of prey?