heartbreak

mornings

Mornings with you, that's all I really want to do. 
Rainy afternoons, lets go for a cruise.
your hand in my hand. I know you feel it too.
lets stay awake from sunset to sunrise.
 roll over on my side. "come here you got something in your eye."
type of love.
Forehead kisses. really make me miss you.
Damn, it fucks me up.
I thought that shit is too good to be true.
you wanted me, I wanted you.
you got me and... I. got. you.
that a rare find- hard to come by.
lets go for a ride. cruising with her by my side, hand on her inner left thigh.
shes even down for a drive by. 
now that's a woman in my eyes.
could you be here in the mornings? 
love me on my downtime.
lets get high.
 laugh about those guys or that one time.
I know im sorry aint good enough but ill put it to the test cause I love you enough to let you know that I fucked up.
I really do miss those late nights trippin on drugs in the back seat of your Toyota corolla.
I promise you there is no other lover. I am yours to uncover. discover.
lets go for a hike and open up my third eye, connect thru our minds.
fuck you on your side. im on your time.
wake up with you in my arms with the fog rollin up.
pull out the rest of the blunt.
but all I have are the memories of us.
its hard to wake up without you crossing my mind.
im not gonna lie, I miss you all the time.
I guess that's why im writing these rhymes. 
I thought it would go away with time,
but,
here you are.
still on my mind. 
consuming my time. 
you seem to be doing just fine.
 that explains why you never hit me up.
just let me ask, what happened to us?
good morning texts and kissing waking up to not even knowing you.
im sorry I couldn't love you. 
i know you tried, and i really tried, too. 
Im sorry I hurt you.
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We Dance

Folder: 
Spirituality

They say. “you’ve got nothing to give, if you give yourself nothing”

That’s the point of it.

There’s really nothing.

We are neither here, nor there.

There’s really no one.

We’re all just electrical expressions of life

Moving in time space

Breathing in air

Buckets of water

Cataclysms of emotion

Which is why I still care

Why I still want to show you…

every peace of me

I still want to give myself to you…

effortlessly

I still want to know you

with every moment that I breathe

 

You are who I am to be

You are who I choose

You are the one, the only one

You, my divinity, are the truth in me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Follow your intuition.

Love, Gone

Why did you leave me

Lingering here?

Where have you gone

And why did you go?

 

I am left 

Confused

Feeling empty

Lonely

 

I long to hear your voice

To see your script

To know

You are thinking of me

 

Love is harsh

When you have to 

Let go of someone

Allow them to be free

 

Someone 

You long for

Someone 

You love 

 

Who left you behind

And gives nothing

No explanation

No final word

 

It hurts

It kills

It boils my skin

Leaving open blister

 

My heart

My soul

Every inch of me

Needs you

 

I want you

So

I'm suffocating

Without you

 

You are no longer here

Gone for good

I whisper your name

But you cannot hear me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/23/2018

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Simply Forgotten

Can I please stop thinking of you?

Leave my thoughts,

And take my insecurities 

 

What you left in your wake,

As you simply disappeared

 

No words

Nothing

I'm just left to wonder why

 

Fuck this inner ache

Fuck this forever pain

 

I wish you'd come back

Swoop me up

And tell me this is all a joke 

 

I wish I could hold you

Lay on you, or

You could lay on me

 

What did we even have?

Did any of it have meaning?

 

Here I am again

Rambling 

 

Fuck you for hurting me

Fuck you for the gut punch to my heart

 

Thank you for ruining a piece of me

As you remain silent

And I am simply forgotten

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/23/2018

View takemewithy0u's Full Portfolio

Siren From The Depths

I am nothing

To you, I am deceased 

I sensed freedom

Maybe reciprocation

 

Finding out the truth 

Seeing you behind your disguise

I wasn't expecting this

I crave love

 

And, so, here I am

Asphyxiated 

Eyes popped wide open

Fingers feeling numb

 

Justice is never met 

Those like you always end up free

No retaliation owed to you

You just walk freely

 

Skip away from your problems

Feel you owe me nothing 

Sense a bit of freedom

But always let a thought linger

 

I will remain in the back of your mind

I will be your "what if"

Sinking deeper within you

And I will laugh, maniacally

 

For I have forgotten 

I am a siren

A beast from the depths

 

I will take your soul

Sing your sorrows

And leave you empty

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/23/2018

Release Me

 

I have wasted

My time

My energy

My breath on you

 

I have gotten

Nothing

Emptiness

Loneliness from you

 

You have fooled me

Put a veil over my eyes

Tricked me

Into loving you

 

You have taken, everything

My heart

My body

My mind from me

 

Yet

I love you 

I crave you

I yearn for you

 

Where is there reason,

When love is involved?

Where is reality,

When emotions run wild?

 

I would ask

But there is no answer

You leave me in silence

To stand on my own

I long to crumble

Fall into pieces

Cry to the heavens

Cry out to you

 

Never will you be

Mine own heart

Mine own soul

Or any part

Of mine own being

 

So… let me go

Set me free

Open your palms

And release me

 

Please...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3/14/2018

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Forever

Folder: 
Heart Break

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, 

Then I'll wait for you just a bit longer...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Only if they're willing to wait for you too...

Time Hurts

Folder: 
Heart Break

Wanting time to go slowly, But it always flies by.
Now it trudgingly drags on without you by my side.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Learn to cherish

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From drunken ashes….

From drunken ashes….

By jfarrell

 

You’ve seen the harry potter scene…

The phoenix burns to ashes…

Then reappears two minutes later…

Egg, to little bird thing, to renewed phoenix

 

I was a drunk…. august, this year, I was still a drunk…

I AM a drunk… and proud of it….

My dad drunk and beat up his family…

I drank, went to sleep, wake up, drink…

 

Rinse and repeat…

 

Today…

3 women kissed me on both cheeks….

Everyone I work with patting me on the back,

Shaking my hand….

 

“Thanks, Jim”

 

Most I felt valued, alive,

…... like, ever…

And I haven’t got a scooby doo why.

….. not that it isn’t all nice…

 

Since I returned to work,

I faced a lot of my worst fears….

Heights - serving champange 25th floor of building…

London at night, all lights, forever…

 

Never seen London look so beautiful…

 

Crowds - being stuck on Olympic Way….

From station to work takes 5 minutes…

After work….

Hugging the wall, and kissing, very lovingly, every lampost….

 

THERE’S NO WAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

After work….

50, 000 people and a little extra…

All headed for the same station….

…. trust me, I really love those lamposts….

 

An anchor…

In this OCEAN of people….

Anchor…

What word could be more appropriate?

 

SPACE….

To roll a smoke, to dance a jig….

To plug in my headphones and LEAVE EARTH>>>>>

A space, chance, to breathe

 

And…

So many beautiful women, everywhere…

20 years, locked in my flat, alone, celibate….

There IS a very good reason I chose that.

 

I’m too scared to be a phoenix.

I’ve seen my future,

Alone,

Forever and ever.

 

Please don’t drag me from my ashes;

Let me smoulder…. burn…

“a taste of honey is worse than none at all” - great song…

I don’t want no part.

 

Fears - LOVE - vulnerable, pain, hurt, heartbreak….

I don’t want no part, too scared to…

Let me lie in my ashes

And never rises again

 

please

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

someone once asked me.... you're like a kid in a sweetshop, around women.....

not quite, i replied.... yes, kid in a sweet shop.... but aall the mars bars are empty wrrappers.....

my therapist didn't understand,

 

i just never want to have that conversation again