They say. “you’ve got nothing to give, if you give yourself nothing”
That’s the point of it.
There’s really nothing.
We are neither here, nor there.
There’s really no one.
We’re all just electrical expressions of life
Moving in time space
Breathing in air
Buckets of water
Cataclysms of emotion
Which is why I still care
Why I still want to show you…
every peace of me
I still want to give myself to you…
effortlessly
I still want to know you
with every moment that I breathe
You are who I am to be
You are who I choose
You are the one, the only one
You, my divinity, are the truth in me
I've spent moments in the mirror...
Staring into my soul-windows
Remembering what matters most
It's time to continue on course
I am a holistic, interdependent, force
The beast inside…
© 2017 SachikoMochiko " Sachi Ruaya
What’s worse than killing someone? Leaving them suffering alive. Now, whether or not they suffer is up to them…
Cracks…that’s how the light comes in.
You found that someone,
Who you deem; is the last piece of you
O’ but that one…that other one just "
…
How long will your grip hold?
It’s a dark feeling; jealousy
Where green, grey and black swirls weave your heart
Like steel, poison ivy
As your blood curdles and boils,
your red-laced eyes eyeball
That one who touched your precious
Your precious gem that you admire from afar.
Your precious one, who births a hazy warm chest.
Your precious half…the other fading half of you.
But you refrain from killing
And instead of making arrangements to prey,
You keep that one alive but suffering from your fangs
Your inner beast lurks inside,
already devoured half of you and yourself.
Its true form will not feast unless you do
Your fangs…its fangs bite, drawing thick, oozy blood
Of the one you hold captive in your prison
All for that one precious one, you shed blood
Your bite…your torture…your beast
Is a reflection of the steel, poison ivy
Is a being born from your selfishness…your jealousy
But you continue to feast even when you know
Know that this beast will soon consume your flesh, Bone-clean
Because pleasure will come from ones’ suffering
You are blinded by the beast; your scarlet eyes see no more,
the beauty of your precious gem…
Blurry. Vivid. Pitch-black.
You have lost sight of your intentions,
And your precious gem’s light is no more
Now, you know: You. Are. Devoured.
You sit there on the bottom of the beast’s stomach
Living with the pure darkness of your own
Alone. With your crackling, dry heart -unable to love
After all, you were just blind.
Destined to lurk in darkness.
Emptiness. Your skin slowly peels off from the dry darkness
Slowly…painfully, in this prison, the veil is ripped
Revealing something undeniably powerful
You.
The bleeding wounds of which the skin is peeled
Thus, shunned the lies and unveils the truth
The truth of you embedded inside -within the beast
…
The light suppresses the dry darkness
With your passion, memories, joy and love
You slice through the belly…striving for freedom once more!
Author’s Note:
This is one of the small fragments to ready one of my upcoming masterpiece. I will write more poems like this (having the same motivational force). WORRY is next.
Sometimes, I realize how different I am.
A shape that doesn't fit into any one particular place
Odd man out
When I look back on how versatile I've always been
Lots of different cliques, not a singular type of friend
Expending everything I have to be someone people want to talk to
But for what?
What am I searching for?
I can identify so many beautiful things that I have
In real life
A short few people who actually love me, for me
When I need them, they come through
In depth long conversation
Or just a simple cup of coffee because they're near
These are tried and true relationships
Sometimes I realize how different I am.
The tallest tree in the forest, towering above those who directly surround her
Or the tiniest grain of sand, undifferentiated, lost in an endless desert
So much the same, but uniquely separate in perspective
Nothing better, nothing worse
Just different...
If I had the choice to be somene else, in another place, another position
I wouldn't think twice before turning it down
I realize this isolation is an opportunity to turn myself around
I was once lost, and once again I will be found
I know I won't find myself in the struggle of another
So, I'll stop attempting to drown myself in the company of others
The silence, the absence, the willingness to be with me
The effort, The choice, The solace
It's become my sole necessity
I light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed, so it's not my turn
I have infinite thoughts, but empty plans
Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls. and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow
To set the ominous breeze,
Over the most vibrant sea, that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease
To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine, and simply avoid
Now we sail, swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within, that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety, and thus become the restrictions
But this is not the end,
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in, and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun, and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers, but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in, and phase out
and thoughts become ideas, and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?
Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun, to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief, to be cruelly concealed, unaware?
The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration?
Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?
My thoughts are
Disorganized,
Shards of broken glass.
If I touch them, they will cut me,
Blood spilling onto the floor,
Tainting it, making it slick.
Or Perhaps rather
They are constantly shifting
Like a cloud in the sky
If I touch them, they pass
Through my fingers, out of reach
Where birds fly and wheel.
I close my eyes and reach blindly
Deep into the well of my mind,
Grasping desperately for sanity.
I surround myself.
Darkness explodes into color.
Notes flow past,
Lifting, resonating
Pounding
Through my veins.
Thicker than blood,
Faster than clouds.
Spreading
Filling
As my soul flies.
Stronger than anger
More enduring than love
All the colors of the heart and mind
Fade in comparison.
Flaring white-hot spots of
Brilliance, Blooming into
Warmth, Cooling the mind,
Easing pain and fatigue.
All the world is music.
I've Been Standing On My Head,
Just start Writing.
Just start thinking.
It does not matter.
Just put your thoughts down.
And spread them all around.
Let your ideas cook.
Convert them to words.
Let the style settle.
Let your words fly,
And tangle together,
If it gets a little unsettled.
Just let your Ideas congeal.
Words could mean anything.
Turn them into something.
And let it all be.
Morbid Devices
Seeing their fears spread out across their face,
running towards the light, falling across open space.
This is not a story of a broken home,
the devices we find ourselves in, when we are left alone and to our own.
The locked doors that we desire to explore,
godless and forsaken, on your knees still begging for more.
Follow me through my mind, like the white rabbit
don't get lost for I am told it can be quite rabid.
Lets dig down even deeper, lets meet the gate keeper
from what I hear he can be a real creeper.
Morbid devices, from a mountain of corpses
with bloody hands everyone reach for your torches.
Whispers spread that I have lost my touch,
that in the darkness I surround myself with a crutch
whiskey to drown away the sorrow,
a couple of pills, courage for tomorrow
eyes on the addiction always one step behind temptation.
Chased a fleeting dream, that faded far to fast
held back by depression, where happiness never did last
We hold onto the seconds, those precious thoughts
ironically those seconds over time cause our memories to rot.
There is chaos to a sadistic order, where each step defines our future.
Marching to the drums of madness, living within our own bliss
where the blind lead the damned, believing in the suicidal ignorance.
Becoming zombies in a world of sin and disease,
it's like the nature of survival where we become children in a carnival.
Deep within this forest, is a path that cannot be sought
a trial by fire, where never again will my soul be bought
you could close your eyes and lie to me,
and tell me that through the chaos there can be no beauty.
The idea of hope has twisted into an ugly word,
where every distraction makes it become obscured.
The dreams that faded long ago,
leaves pain in its wake, as time moves slow.
“The stars in the heavens, show us a path of the gods
sharing with us the stories of our lives, as humanity reminds us of the flaws.”