dark night

as silence leave its place 

hatred took guarantee

leaving all memories behind 

thou couldn't see anything


tears roll down from everybody's eyes 

without noise at various intensity

heart filled so high

hatred took guarantee

still, she wanted to stop this race


caring was always there

love or war

whichever in the way

as heart poured out

calling your name

hatred in ones heart

took its place


the whole night was so big, so scary

seems like darkness worked its part

took light from our soul

put darkness in our heart


tears roll down 

without any noise 

how come thou couldn't hear anything

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Like Me Better


Waiting for you I am standing like

slowing down to get a better view of the ground under our feet,

waiting for the snow in July.


I like me better when I’m with you,

I can’t seem to create as much as I cry

but I still love the ache because it’s something.


Here I can trick myself,

I’m brave and bold and bulletproof,

I’m more than counting dimensions like falling asleep

and I run out of spaces to call home.



We can hang so much from four letters.


Sometimes I forget to say I’m coming home.

I just want you to know that I am halfway there.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 9/27/17

Kind Of


I am kind of asleep.

I am kind of screaming.

I am kind of lying.

I am kind of shaking.

I am kind of breaking the rules.

I am kind of on top of the world.

I am kind of on fire.

I am kind of in love with you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/31/17



Will I remember to breathe when you’re here,

when you’re gone?


I forget,

I remember,

I exhale a hurricane and leave steam on your skin.


I learn loss when the doors are closed,

I set sail at all the wrong times.


I am too human,

I leave a mark wherever I go,

it is not always a good one.


We all want to leave postcards, silhouettes, golden

but mine always turn gray and crumble to dust.

I want to leave color,

flood these hours with more than minutes.


I want to leave fingerprints

so you know I was here.

But this might be a crime scene,

if it is I will take all the blame

I hope if it is the blood runs beautiful.


Will I remember to breathe when you’re here,

when you’re gone?

Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/26/17



I am not getting smaller,

shrinking with feeling and letting go,

putting up all my defenses

to quit the confusion and instead use your hand.


I am not standing too long,

shivering until my bones feel so far away,

they crack like those arches and I am the gate.


I am not holding too tight,

forward and back like my constant insanity.

I am not knotting these fishing line heartstrings,

catch and release like those signs used to say.


I am not flying or falling,

I think here I am grounded.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/14/17

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Territorial Imperative (An Affected Poem About Chances In Love)

Territorial Imperative 


You know that I could love

you with agape;


It is such a wonder that you

had stopped me on my way


But when I had to think of you

It has kept me dazed—always


My waking states alter day-to-day

Just for seeing your smiling face


A guy who would be likened

to a man, by a woman


It is unchartered territory,

But it could be the best one.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Reedited 07.11.2019 (misspelling/typographical error corrections that are affecting its sense-making intended meaning-making attempts, e.g., or losinng. perhaps < or losing*, perhaps):  

"Territorial Imperative" is a poem about getting (or losing, perhaps) our chances in love.  But this is taken from my viewpoint, of my own subjective chance(s) or lack thereof—because it is relational (at the time when it was written).  The date of the comosition supposedly was on 04/18/2017 at around 04:56 A.M. 

Our Promises


Awake, asleep.


I close my eyes better with your head on my shoulder,

I still don’t promise.


Late nights, early mornings.


I shake and I can’t stop smiling,

you’re half awake and still twice as beautiful.


Something, nothing.


I look over at their promises,

maybe in half a breath they could be mine.


I want to, I won’t.


I would choose in a heartbeat

to break my heart with you.


We have said too many times we will not promise,

these are our promises.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/13/17

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I am on top of the world

and then packing up this little room

without warning

I speed down the slope,

I don’t want to count down the days

but that’s all I’m ever doing.


I count by tears,

by memories and 3ams,

by your heartbeats when I don’t want to move.


I count by unavoidable smiles,

by wishing and bad decisions I still don’t regret,

by sevens and by everything you love.


When I break I need to push you away,


I’ve already crumbled

too much in your hands.


Nothing will never be close enough as right down the hallway.


Every little corner smells like you.

This feels like I am folding up all your little pieces

and when I leave so soon

they are tearing me from you.


Every little corner smells like you.

This feels like I am folding up all your little pieces

and bringing them home.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 5/9/17

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I don’t think you want me to answer,

if I do you will leave me behind,

you have the world to play and I only have one piano.


I can frame what I feel for you with my fists,

love with only half a hand

when you’re looking down at me.


I can smoke you like I’ll never be sober,

risk it all when I fall apart,

keep half of your serenity.


I can only make your face fall when I answer,

give too much when I’m not enough,

leave you in the sky when I’m standing still.


I could want a road that doesn’t end,

I don’t know what I want, too heavy

when you’re looking down at me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 4/29/17

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