worry

worrrying

For I watch as she says things
things about herself
like shes not good enough
ugly, bad, a pain
she thinks this
it makes me worry
am i doing the right thing ?
am i there for her enough
i try to be
she gets soo upset
it brings her down
i worry
i worry
I Listen to her crys
I help her through the night
Theres nothing wrong with her
nothing at all
the things she says
is not true
but lies of inner thoughts
but they live in her
i worry
i worry
what if they take hold of her
bring her to a point of no return
a point of unforgivness
and she takes her life
ill try my best to stop it
ill try my best
i love her
i worry
i worry

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Sadness for this girl i love she brings herself down

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The Sleepless Nights- Anxiety

It is in the late hours of a sleepless night.
At first the night was sleepless due to an over-abundance of this yearned for sleep from just last night. It is not over-abundance which has kept me from my desire to rest this hour. That over-abundance simply set the start of a journey, a journey deep into my mind. I have found that in the late hours of night a man finds his soul, or lack there of. It is only in these tired hours he can find who he really is, what he believes, what he wishes he believed, and what he loses faith in. In these hours he loses himself in thought, more often worry than otherwise. Worry, so it seems is the death of man. It is the eighth deadly sin. Worry is what holds mankind back, its what harnesses the reigns of life. A man can only be measured by his accomplishments, but what accomplishments can be found if blocked by impossibility? Man finds late at night his largest worries. Worries he didn't know or chose not to think of in the day, they become inescapable at night. They choke the sleep from the dreamer who dreams of but to dream. This worry will seize you without warning. It cannot be dispelled but by the greatest of efforts. Worry and faith aren't all found in these hours though, their near cousin is as well; Strength. Strength is found. It may be found to combat worry, it may be found because of faith, but strength is what will lull the restless to sleep. Strength in oneself is a beautiful thing. But as so it seems, most men's strength leaves them in their time of most need. Strength of the average man seems to all too easily evaporate with the first rays of morning. No matter what feelings or thoughts are aroused or provoked, in the morning we are all the man we laid down as, none the wiser until the next moments of restless fit.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Wrote this one the night before a very difficult day in which I would have to face one of my greatest fears. Wrote it around 3:30 am

My Letter To You

Folder: 
My Love

I feel your pain over here
Sometimes you said you wish I didn’t
But I didn’t stop
I don’t mind standing in your rain
Just by my being there
You start to feel better
You start to feel normal again
I’m glad that I can do that
Because

I can be your light,
Even in your darkness
I can be your fire,
Even when you feel so cold
I can be your life
Even when you feel like dying
I can be your happiness
Even when it’s gone

Don’t worry about me
I know you care
I know you wanted to stop the pain
You did
You don’t know it
But I wouldn’t be here without you
I might not be alive,
You stopped my cutting before it happened
And I love you
Because

You are my light,
Even in my darkness
You are my fire,
Even when I feel so cold
You are my life
Even when I feel like dying
You are my happiness
Even when it’s gone

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Emotion Dump: Rape

Folder: 
Feelings

Yet another has joined

the ranks upon ranks of women who have been raped.

A young girl, a girl of 13.

Manipulated by one she thought she could trust.

Only 13

I view her as the sister I never had.

Has had her innocence torn from her.

I know how it feels to be used like that.

Not rape, but still.

We were all wary of him.

But she went to him seeking comfort.

Answers.

And she was met with a lie.

His true face shone through.

I have been told she is doing well.

And it really seems that she is.

But I worry.

Is it all a brave face?

What is she feeling inside.

I fear she will do something rash.

I don't want to loose my little sister.

My only hope is those who surround her.

Friends and family.

Providing comfort, support, so she knows shes not alone.

That she has someone to turn to.

I almost feel as though it has happened to me.

I feel torn up inside.

We were all wary of him.

But she didn't see it until it was too late.

And so another person has joined

the ranks upon ranks of women who have been raped.

A young girl of 13.

My friend.

I feel sick inside.

I hope he rots in hell.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Now, last month I was told my friend had gone to this guys house, and that they had been found in bed together. But I'm sure that at the time the person telling me this wasn't sure if anything had happened. So I fretted about it awhile, but then it kind of went to the back of my mind, and I had almost stopped thinking about it. But this just last week, I was told she had been raped. And we had this big talk at dinner, and there is some other drama involved, and ug. But I wrote this the night I was told about it. I didn't edit this at all, seeing how it was an emotion dump, so yeah. Here it is. I know so many people who have been raped/sexually abused... o.o

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These Feelings

My heart grows deeper with every passing moment

Making me feel light on my feet

As if I was soaring through the sky in the morning mist

The emotions are full of love, compassion and responsibility

This feeling is nothing I have ever experienced.

Its new to me and my purpose in life

Changing everything but not worried about how it will affect me.

Excitement flows through my veins

Never stopping for anything else.

These feelings give me life

More life then I have ever had;

EVER.

I don't feel scared

Or unnerved or even a fear for the unknown

None of this bothers me

It only fuels me

Makes me reach out farther and wider.

These feelings,

My feelings

Are forever changed

And for that I am thankful

Everyday of my life.

 

Sherry B

Sept. 5/09

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