Fear

Figment of my Imagination

Figment of my Imagination

By JFarrell

 

I am just a figment of your imagination

I don’t exist

The grumbling of a piece of cheese

Eaten too late at night

 

A shadow stirred by a

Tap-tap-tapping on your door

Memories awakened by

A howling on the wind

 

The breath on your neck

Of “Spring-Heeled” Jack

The knife at your throat

In Whitechapel

 

A ghost, a wisp

A vivid dream

Already forgotten

As you wake

 

The flea bites me

Then bites the arm of God

And I am nothing, forever

Just a figment, an echo

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i'm i my imagination or yours?

Be Afraid

Be Afraid

By JFarrell

 

It struck me as curious

I’ve been told all my life

“don’t be afraid”

I was going to start my computer class, saying

“Don’t be afraid of the computer”

Why?

 

Especially, if you got to face a fear;

You’ve got to give a presentation

But fear public speaking

In order to overcome a fear

You have to be afraid

So saying “Don’t be afraid” is just daft

 

  fear * n. 1 an unpleasant emotion caused by the threat of danger, pain or harm.

         2 the likelihood of something unwelcome happening

 

 

Being afraid is all right

It is very okay to be afraid

Welcome it

Enjoy it

And then fear some more

 

Then look back

Are you as afraid of it as you were?

Almost, but not quite

And that’s how you beat fear

Liking beating an addiction

One step at a time

 

So

Be afraid           :)

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

starting to like fear

The Nymph

She was a beauty
Hair like silk.
 
She was colored gold,
Skin white as milk.
 
I saw her in my mind,
Felt her in my arms.
 
Woke up from the nightmare,
Recalling no harm.
 
The thoughts went on for hours,
The dreams went on for years.
 
Day merged into week,
Tear after tear.
 
She tore my family,
The silky haired nymph.
 
But so long as I got my fix, 
My ambitions would remain limp.
 
One day I saw the girl,
On 23 and 8th.
 
Just as I had remembered her,
Every little detail in place.
 
I approached her from behind,
Courteous as could be.
 
She said a kind "Hello",
And acted like she'd never met me.
 
"'Tis I" I replied,
She giggled and turned away.
 
I grabbed her by the hair,
I was never one to play.
 
I was oblivious to her screams,
It was all in good fun.
 
Surely she must remember!
She was the one!
 
I took her back home, 
Laid her in bed.
 
Gave her a drink,
Stroked the silky hair on her head.
 
"Let me go," she pleaded,
But I had done no wrong.
 
Surely she must be joking,
We'd been together for so long.
 
This went on for months,
The silky haired girl and I.
 
I never got her name,
All she did was cry.
 
One night she tried to run,
Oh how dumb she must've thought I.
 
But I let her go swift And fast,
She could never hide.
 
As you can well imagine,
I found her hiding in the forest
On the following eve.
 
She was broken, matted, helpless,
Simply Splitting at the seams.
 
I could take a hint,
She didn't want my love.
 
So I let her go,
With a passionate push and loving shove.
 
I have yet to confess her whereabouts
She's still "missing" to this day.
 
The bitch should've listened 
 
 
                         I was never one to play.
 
 
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Over & out.

 

Fear

Folder: 
Haqueian Verse

Fear,


Leads to grief,


And depression,


Fear brings forth,

 

Tear!

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tags:

Dreaming of Reality

Folder: 
Haiku

Go to sleep and dream.

Wake up because of your dream.

Continue to dream.


Nothing is real.

Why can't it just be real.

Help me be real.

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To my darkest fear

In days of dark I dream of loneliness
In the light, I see her face.
Time moves slowly then,
But is limited, yet.

The thought is etched into me
Like a witch's curse
Her voice, though it calls,
When will it dim?

I awake to tired pictures,
To videos and notes that bleed.
I recall the times we had
And I see the light, once again.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hello anyone listening, i'd like to tell a short story followed by a short poem. As much as it pains me to seem like your average young poet writer, I am an 18 year old man, and have suffered with many issues since I was a child. I have isolated myself from others, I wish to always be alone. I work a dead end job to make ends meet, I do not talk to employees, and they seem to enjoy it that way. I recently talked to a girl, she was nice, but it was clear she was different than the other faces I come across everyday, meaningless and odd as they seem. She seemed unhappy, though it was clear she wanted to seem otherwise. We talked, and though we have never said a word about it, we both have a similar outlook on life, we both disregard other people and similarly, don't seem able to understand ourselves despite it. But we understand each other. We both make sense to the alternate. I know I sound painfully like a child in love, trying to make sense of nonsense, but this feeling is meaningful to me. I don't mean to share my life story or anything, but lately, I wonder what is to become of us, and it has worried me. My dreams are unconventional, I see her beauty masked by the grip of death and darkness veiling her body, and i've turned to art to help me explain the reality of this to myself. Poetry has made me see the light in death, and unravel its' mysteries and monstrosities, so I wanted to write something, to give back to an art form which has graced my life, and to share it with the few that shall take the time to read and understand what I am trying to say. I don't do this for attention or fame, even the fun of it is in question of absolute, but it calms me, and I love to hear the stories of people with similar experience.

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Twilight

Twilight town
A black gown
Gray eyes with a blue sky but a slight frown
Brown hair. Greasy as if colored by a crayon

The crown fell down. It can’t be found.
A loss of hope
A tree with a rope
But you can’t cope with the hate.

Feelings have been raped. You’re without a mate
In your own zone like a closed gate.
This is fate.
April 17th. That’s the date

Woke up to a new reality.
Embracing my own mortality
Entirely broken. A fatality
Feeling like a monstrosity

Two halves. A duality
Walking away so elegantly
Hurt critically spiritually
An anal personality

Asshole.
Teaching myself individuality
Originality without formality.
Totally alone. Abnormality


Theoretically evil cause I don’t show hospitality
I treat everyone compassionately
But I despise them. Want to beat them constantly
Brutality. Fuck it.. I can’t stop my profanity

I don’t have a functional family.
I have a screwed up mentality
Skinny. Get thrown down by authority
Barbarity. Act like I’m a misanthropist.

I hardly get any rest. Too skinny that I can’t use my fist.
Instead I sit in my nest. But I need to fly to beat the rest.
Hit or miss. I never had a first kiss. Instead I was hit and dissed.
Cause I’m pissed. My life is shrouded by a thick mist.

I don’t know what lies in front of me
But as far as I can see. I control my own destiny
Nothing ever seemed to work out for me
I have so much insecurity.

But I’m going to be what I set out to be
I’m going to be the best I can be

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Lurking

I liked us,

We always had each others back,

I can remember looking at your smile

Thinking I could see it carrying on for miles into some world of bliss,

Your little brother would look at you,

As if having more knowledge of that rich, expansive kindess,

Of what I assumed was at your core,

 

Now I know,

There is a demon who dwells inside of you,

I hear its stomps and roars,

Its shackles whipping and bending at its will,

Putting cracks in what I once thought,

Was a friendship sturdy as marble,

I feel the screams of your wrath,

I'm shocked how low they moaned,

When you created so many elegant distractions,

But now I see what lives in you,

And I fear it waits for me,

To throw my bones with all the rest,

Of the sorry fools that ever bought your act.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I know I haven't posted in a while but a certain person has managed to make me so incredibly irritated that I am back to writing. Hope to have a few more posted by the end of the week. Enjoy!

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A Better Place, A Better Time

I glanced to see your empty seat not far

away from mine. I did not know you well

before your name marked every mind. I got

the news my freshmen year at Aries’ end.

The open casket frightens me, a fear

to peer inside.  Depression lurks and maims

the ones we love, no way to say goodbye.

The cries I heard your mother make in words

I can’t describe. Your close best friend, a friend

Of mine, still thinks of you in times of light

and shade; He sits and waits for you to call:

the promise made, be kept today. I learned

from you don’t hesitate. To think of dreams

you’ll never have or places never seen,

I missed the chance to know your truth and who

you want to be. But now I see for me

to be the who I want to be; I must

help those like you live on, it’s not your time    

to leave.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

with inspiration drawn from beloved Javad, rest in peace. with intentions to direct those in need to the song A Better Place, A Better Time by Streetlight Manifesto