distrust

What Am I To Make (Of Who I Am?)

What am I to make of who I am?
I can't blame tomorrow for yesterday
Here I am, already fingering blame
Convicting something that has yet to happen

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

What am I to make of who I am?
If I can only become this man
Here I am, all ready to ruin the day
Guaranteeing agar agar for Misery to breed

 

In rage,
I've kidnapped the charms of life
Blindly,
Somehow, I've ended up
With a knife in my hand
The knife to it's neck
Tomorrow's pleading eyes
Snapping me out of it
I was about to kill a kid
Because he could become a Hitler

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

I'm sorry, Tomorrow
Forgive me, today
I should have forgiven you
Yesterday

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Looking down a road to bypass..

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Virus of Distrust

She doesn’t seem to trust me,


Though she is so lovely,


In her heart, the virus of suspicion,


Has turned into a mammoth banyan.



I tell her that I’m ever faithful to her,


I’m not that sort of lover,


As D.H. Lawrence was,


Yet she looks at me like a flying eagle thus.



I don’t know what the remedy of suspicion is,


O God! When'll her disbelief cease?

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tags:

The TESTS

Folder: 
Soul mates

Keep on testing till it's true
keep on worming your way through
keep on trying to erase my love for you
I will keep my vision of you
perfect and healed in my mind's eye
reconsiled and held to
beauty beyond compare
and I know when spent
and doubt is scarce
you will tap upon my window frame
and I will let you in again.
For an open door is always
too obvious and
a daunting thing
and here I am
true to my word
i will keep respect
for your beauty
heart and soul.
test me,
I refuse
to fail.

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