How I see You

closet boxes 2002

You see yourself in a shattered mirror

the distortion closer then the truth,

showing inside instead of out

the wreak that you were as a youth.

The shatter shows healed over scars

cannot be seen, but caused such pain,

circumstances uncontrolled

have left you not at all the same.

Screams of anguish fill your ears

you've locked it deep within your mind,

the gentle person you once were

someone today you can not find.

You live your life from day to day

forget the past for whats to come,

but still a prisoner of your pain

you find you can't trust anyone.

You can not love me for fear of loss

for fear i'll see your scars and run,

you worry I won't understand

that I am just like anyone.

But how I see you, you don't know

and it's to bad that you won't see,

you build walls up and shut me out

'till they come down you won't be free.

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I've been told you have a terrible temper

But I pray that isn't true.

Only the kindest and gentlest of words

Have I received from you.

I'm too old and set in my ways now,

To flex and bend with your mood.

I want us to be happy together,

I want our union to be good.

Why do people try to take apart

Each vestige of joy life may bring?

If I couldn't speak kindly about you,

Then I wouldn't say anything.

I must still be insecure, I guess,

Or this hint wouldn't bother me so.

But I'm SO tired of being alone,

I want this to work, you know?

I'm praying as I write this token

That God will ever take control.

I don't want WHAT I WANT,

When He knows my ultimate goal.

All I've ever asked for

Was a God-filled home and life,

A caring man to love me,

To be the cherished wife.

I'd rather live alone for good

Than to walk into a quarrel.

I'm praying yet that God will work,

This worry to unsnarl.  

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The Fear

The fear makes me cry,

The fear makes me pry,

The fear makes me try,

The fear makes me dry,

The fear makes me dream,

The fear makes me scream,

The fear makes me palpitate,

The fear makes me cogitate,

The fear makes me weak,

The fear makes me freak,

The fear makes me prick,

The fear makes me so sick…

The fear is of the loss…

The loss of the love…

This fear doesn’t make me love…

This fear doesn’t let me live…

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The Enemy

Has my future been determined?

Thine destiny foretold?

Why do I dream of homelessness

and being left in the cold?

Born into the world, I'm coddled and warm.

As an adult I feel lonely, rejected and scorn.


Do I only pray when things don't go my way?

Don't I pray for others safe keeping?

And when they are hurt I am weeping?

Who may weep for me?

Self-pity is no answer it infest the spirit.

Yet, The future is my terrorist!

I completely fear it!


Patricia Hermes

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just what I felt in that moment. Alone and afraid.

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by Jeph Johnson


 He flaunts his girth as though the power in his strike was Heaven-sent

 Preying on an unprotected, helpless innocent.

 Her feelings grow and then are cut down like a tree...

 He's the lumberjack-of-all-trades lacking civility

 Her dreams drift across the landscape of hopes and fears

 As the clouds of his appearance rain multitudes of tears.

 When he's away the veil is lifted from her face

 Revealing beauty more powerful than the strength of his disgrace.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

1998, 2017


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