The good moments lost like a ghost ship at sea.
I wish I knew what I want to say
I wish I knew what to do
The truth is I've been at a loss
Since I lost you
It's the gap, the absence, the lack
The introspectively shaped hole
On the right side of the bed
That I realize tonight
The truth is
I can't move on
I don't even want to
Each moment that goes by
I'm starting to miss the days of my life
That I thought I was sad
I don't just love you, I need you
And I hate the fact that I want you
When you've moved on
I don't want to haunt you
But I miss your smile and your laugh
So for a moment
Please remember me again
I gaze upon them, so peaceful,
The life they lead, so blissful.
Their whiskers bend on the carpet,
Grouped in pairs, like a bartlett.
The songs they sing, ever loving,
Grazing my heart, so touching.
Patters of their feet instill amusement,
As they run to me in contentment.
The fur that drapes them, the softest,
Brushing my skin, I almost lost it.
The moments we share, always profound,
The love we exchange, safe and sound.
Within these arms they know,
That their soul I take with me in tow.
If ever we find ourselves apart,
One thing always remains: our heart.
It’s happening again,
Such unbearable pain,
And if my soul is crying
As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…
I’ve let so many people down,
Lost so many beautiful opportunities,
I feel so failed and forlorn,
But is that really such a tragedy?
Perhaps, rather,
It’s a positive thing,
Shouldn’t a true artist be suffering?
At least I’m feeling something…
It’s happening again,
Such unbearable pain,
And if my soul is crying
As my heart is breaking, then that’s fine…
I've never seen an angel bleed
Till I stood with knife in hand
I've never seen a devil cry
Till I looked once through it's eyes
You were my drug
Long before I acclimated
Long before withdrawal
I needed you to survive
I can feel your eyes on my back
Can't you hear me?
I'm silent on the outside
But screaming on the inside
I'm soul-lost
I can't find who I am anymore
Maybe I'll be fine
Perhaps I will survive
But I just don't know if
I can outlast your memory
If I lose myself in drugs and dreams
Or fly away to places and things
To fill the gap you left behind
Consuming body, soul, and mind
But there is no need
To conjure dreams
When life comes
In such radiant colors
They say Pandora is to blame
Her curiosity brought us pain
And fear of darkness in the night
But there was hope in candle-light
From the dark, a light will shine
Before the day, the night has gone
And now we know it burns so fine
That is why it's called, breaking dawn.
And maybe, just maybe
That which dies gives birth to something new
I do
Do you know what it feels like to have never been loved?
Do you know what it feels like to have never been liked?
Do you know what it feels like to hear the words, believing it, only to be bluffed?
Do you know what it feels like to feel liked, told you are liked, only to be able to get ‘’their’’ true intentions right?
I do
Do you know what it feels like to have your heart broken for 42 years?
The hurt never ever goes away, or fades, it stays
Do you know what it feels like to realize each and every time you’ve just been fooled, and tears…
Well the tears never dry up, it lasts for decades
I do
Do you know what it feels like to be used your entire life?
Do you know what it feels like to be the one who always has to heal, and help?
At your own emotional and financial loss, just to serve your purpose in life?
Do you know what it feels like to know, that you will never have anyone when you need help?
I do
Do you know what it feels like to only be viewed and desired as sexual object?
Do you know what it feels like to only be used and viewed as emotional help?
Do you know what it feels like to fall in love with the only outcome being: reject?
Do you know what it feels like to carry your Mother from birth knowing she didn’t want you, she wished you could just melt
I do
Do you know what it feels like to work your entire life only to survive?
Do you know what it feels like to be hated by most females, due to jealousy?
Do you know what it feels like to live with so much hatred from strangers just because you are alive?
Do you know what it feels like to try live your life in secrecy?
I do
Do you know what it’s like to know you will never be loved?
Do you know what it’s like to only attract lust?
Do you know what it’s like to know you will never be liked?
Do you know that my entire life, people lied, just to be able to satisfy their lust?
I do
Do you know what it’s like to know you were never wanted from birth, yet ‘’loved’’ because you are her slave, and your Mom can life a happy life and relive her youth through you and all boyfriends and dates who claims to love me even though it is just lust
Do you know what it’s like to know you are only ‘’liked’’ for the financial and emotional help you can be?
Only be liked because they lust after you?
Do you know what it’s like to be me?
I do
Do you know what it is like to have your heart broken endlessly?
I do
Do you know what’s it’s like to think of a perfect way to commit suicide daily knowing what the rest of your life will be
I do
Marriage, engagement, true love, true friendships based on like –I will never experience
Death is imminent, and I pray that the day comes soonest, before I find my own way
Do you know how much pain my heart and soul can handle?
I do
It has reached the limit
Written by
Dlr
The ancients declared that all is meaningless
A chasing after the wind
The modernists claim that nothing is real
A consuming, constant dream
So what shall we say on our mortality;
What should we surmise of our souls?
We've all been screaming what we want to hear
And yet the truth quietly whispers, drowning our voices
We pay our very souls to safely cross the river Styx
Only to find that we can't leave Charon without them
We give our all to gain what our hearts desire,
And realize that we have lost everything to gain nothing
What man can bring back one second of his life;
Yet time seems worthless without entertainment
We campaign to save our fellow man,
By placing funds in already full pockets
Humans are dimensional amphibians, living both spirit and body,
The ghost in the machine
How light a heart in love!
How heavy a heart in sorrow
The weight of a soul drags me down
But hope can keep me alight
We strive for goodness through deeds and laws,
But laws are not for good deeds, or good people
We cannot live long alone, and yet push others away,
Until we are left with only our “selves”
We push and strive to become better than ourselves
Yet we can only grow inside our own nature
At what point in our quest to become God
Did we convert into the devil instead?
Wandering into the unknown
Traveling alone, on the lonely road
Emptiness swelling inside my mind
Constant suicidal thoughts pass me by
Coaxing me to fall behind
Convincingly, temptingly, opening my eyes
To see there is nothing left of me
Nothing stored for my future ahead
Pictures of my past on this screen
A private slideshow of what used to be
My life is playing over, in front of me
Hypnotized, mesmerized, by what lies ahead
I'm walking by a place,
A place that has lost its reason to walk by.
Now I look at it with a somber face and a heavy heart.
I do recall the times i was here,
the joy and cause I had to visit here.
But its not those reasons that make me low.
Not the nostolgiac talks or even the cause of the past that weighs on my soul.
It is the joy of then, and lack of it now that brings me low.
The smiles that were, the smiles that aren't and smiles that could have been
The smiles that could have been.
Now instead I walk falsely,
to make light of what weighs heavy.
To make light of what weighs heavy.
I hold my head a little higher, stand a little straighter,
work a little harder; work a little too hard.
Joke a little more, laugh a little louder and smile,
Smile a little too much.
To make light of what weighs heavy at the place I'm walking by.