jaded

What Am I To Make (Of Who I Am?)

What am I to make of who I am?
I can't blame tomorrow for yesterday
Here I am, already fingering blame
Convicting something that has yet to happen

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

What am I to make of who I am?
If I can only become this man
Here I am, all ready to ruin the day
Guaranteeing agar agar for Misery to breed

 

In rage,
I've kidnapped the charms of life
Blindly,
Somehow, I've ended up
With a knife in my hand
The knife to it's neck
Tomorrow's pleading eyes
Snapping me out of it
I was about to kill a kid
Because he could become a Hitler

 

I'm charging the hands of time
That has still to be announced
With a list of thought crimes
Of having cursed us, having lied
From us, having stolen itself
Telling us we had more than was left

 

I'm charging the hands of time
With a list of thought crimes
I'm locking the future up
With those that I never forgave

 

I'm sorry, Tomorrow
Forgive me, today
I should have forgiven you
Yesterday

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Looking down a road to bypass..

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Wishes Of A Jaded Girl

Folder: 
2007

I opened my eyes today

And welcomed the warm sunlight

Put a smile on my face

Just in case today doesn’t go right

 

I thought of some good times

And pushed out some bad

Put some thought into

Things I’ve never had

 

I don’t want what I can’t have

I don’t wish for more than I do

I have always known

Good things will come to you

 

But I asked today

For one simple thing

Let me lay down my demons

So I can open my broken wings

 

I need to fly, to be free

I need the wind in my hair

So I can believe for one moment

That life really is fair

 

Can you help me my friend

Can you help me move on

Even though I can’t really say

I can be that strong

 

~Chrystal

Written on

August 1, 2007

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one is ohh so true. Hince the screen name, CrimsonAngel, crimson is the color of blood and angel is what I have always wanted to be. Bloody angel, just because I have been hurt so many times in the past.

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