Angels

An Armchair Theologian

I believe! I Believe! Lord, help my unbelief

I believe, I believe, my constant motif

I believe but don't grow

And my faith doesn't show

Because I can't be bothered to “do”

 

I know faith is given, not earned

Yet here I sit unconcerned 

I'm given to resting 

When I should be testing

To see that my faith is real

 

“You shall know them by their fruits”

But seeds planted on stones don't have roots

My apathy grows

So nobody knows

That I don't follow what I believe

 

The path down below is a slope

So gradual and smooth that you hope

It stays just the same

Like a current so tame

But leads to a waterfall

 

I'm not living, or learning

I'm sitting and burning

Lord I want to live

But not if I give

My time or my life

My comfort for strife

Is there an easier way?

 

You said believe and I shall be clean

Believe, and come home again

But how can I start

If only my heart

Wasn't an armchair theologian

HER FAVORITE ANGEL

Her mom died when she was young…and though she survived the ordeal

she still misses her when she remembers her…

some wounds will never heal.

 

She remembers how her mom loved pelicans…how they soared on the breeze like a kite…

How she loved all kinds of pelicans…

but her favorite ones were white.

 

And when she walks along the surf…when the sea is tranquil and calm…

if a white pelican soars overhead…

it reminds her of her mom.

 

When she hears the swoosh of the pelican's wings…and sees the smile on its beak…

she instinctively returns a smile

as a tear rolls down her cheek.

 

Then came the day for her to marry…her mom now years out of reach…

she decided to have the ceremony…

in the sand…

upon the beach.

 

Halfway through the service…about the time she took his hand

A flock of pelicans flew overhead…

then landed on the sand.

 

And she again remembered how her mom loved pelicans…

how they soar on the breeze like a kite…

And she had to stop and catch her breath…

because all these pelicans…

were white.

 

It was a beautiful moment…the end of a beautiful day

and when the ceremony was over…

all the pelicans flew away.

 

All the pelicans that is but one…who lingered there a while…

whose beak she swears to this day…

was formed into a smile…

 

She never thought of pelicans as angels…until her wedding night

but now her favorite angel…

is a pelican…

 

painted white.


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This I Know

Folder: 
Psalms

Though I was born into sin

My Savior, He died

To bring me back home once again

And Heaven did shake

And the saints they did cry

For salvation of sinners and I

 

Now this I know

From the scars in His hands

That He died, with me on His mind

He died then He lived, and He rose up on high

The gifted eternal is mine

 

Now someday soon

The Bride and the Groom

Will join in the sweet by-and-by

The angels will sing

And the trumpets will sound

As we join our dear Savior in the sky

Author's Notes/Comments: 

First two verses and a chorus of a hymn, perhaps I'll return to it someday.

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Death of Infatuation

Folder: 
Light and Dark

I've never seen an angel bleed

Till I stood with knife in hand

I've never seen a devil cry

Till I looked once through it's eyes

 

You were my drug

Long before I acclimated

Long before withdrawal

I needed you to survive

 

I can feel your eyes on my back

Can't you hear me?

I'm silent on the outside

But screaming on the inside

I'm soul-lost

I can't find who I am anymore

 

Maybe I'll be fine

Perhaps I will survive

But I just don't know if

I can outlast your memory

 

If I lose myself in drugs and dreams

Or fly away to places and things

To fill the gap you left behind

Consuming body, soul, and mind

 

But there is no need

To conjure dreams

When life comes

In such radiant colors

 

They say Pandora is to blame

Her curiosity brought us pain

And fear of darkness in the night

But there was hope in candle-light

 

From the dark, a light will shine

Before the day, the night has gone

And now we know it burns so fine

That is why it's called, breaking dawn.

 

And maybe, just maybe

That which dies gives birth to something new

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Needs a better title

Long time

Been feeling pretty uninspired,

The irony my life has been spiraling,

Taking notes about my meditations and dreams,

Going back and forth with myself 'it isnt what it seems'

Even now, writing but not feeling the words,

'How do I feel, how do I feel'  no adjectives, no verbs, 

To describe my daily illusion, 

All the sick as fuck things ive been doing,

These thoughts and white bitches ive been consuming,

Jesus make me believe in you again,

I wanna believe my future could change if I could just see the light through you again,

These crystals around my neck are heavy but im not grounded,

Obsessing about all of the things around me,

Be mine, someone,

Ive lost my contentment,

If I dont feel another body against mine soon I might betray my commitments,

Light eyes give me hope,

I hope she never reads this,

Im an alien, on a terrace, just standing for what I believe in,

These silly words,

These silly words just giving you feeling,

I have none,

Empty but filled with so much expression,

The church would say your blessed and,

You are satan, for including your love for a woman within the same statement,

Im rambling now,

Lucifer the gardian angel of mine who wears a crown,

Send me down a blessing from the sky,

Perferrably a bitch with nice tits, pink lips, and a smile as sharp as a tooth pick,

Make her love me unconditionally even when im acting stupid,

Unconditionally even when im disillusioned...

Oh, and send me a bag of money.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Because its been a while...

View dime421's Full Portfolio

Requiescat in pace

Peace

The feeling of rest

After a hard day's work

The weightlessness of relaxation

Finally

 

Serenity

No reason to fear

No longer any worries

My mind is happily blank

White like new-fallen snow

While I sit by the fireplace

On a Christmas morning

 

Calm

For my spirit is calm

My soul no longer pains me

I'll soon fall asleep

To waking dreams

And an eternity

Of sunrises  

Barrels

Folder: 
Love

For at the bottom of my heart;

The dregs of my emotions lie

I'd given all to you

And you drank without satisfaction

I filled your glass over and over again

Yet you could not be content

 

I had nothing left to give

And then, like so many before

I was thrown aside

Cast out like a leper

But the thing about barrels

Is that they can be refilled

And someone wanted me to be filled

They poured their heart and soul into me

They completed me until I overflowed

They granted me a purpose, and a meaning

 

So now as I look upon you

Inebriated in your unfulfilled grief

Wasted in your past iniquity

I pity you

For we cannot be connoisseurs only

But we must be barrels as well

For we cannot drink alone

But must be drunken from again

Media

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Men of Iron, Men of Smoke

Red hands hidden in their cloak

Helter Skelter in their hearts

Silence people, so they start

End beginnings, death of life

Pleasured pain, calming strife

All their “truth,” is but lies

Hide the demons in their eyes

Propaganda lead the people

Separate the laws and steeple

All who speak against them die

Total darkness soon is nigh

All of those who live are dead

 

In a white world made of red

Ode to Summer's End

Folder: 
Just For Fun

Let me take you

In your mind's true eye

To blue-green pastures

Ocean-like waves of grass

Flowing gently over hill and dale

The sun gently shining

Partially cloaked behind the clouds

The crickets singing to each other

Fall is soon at hand

But for now we enjoy

Those few last days of summer

And as we lay on the warm earth

We'll daydream at how fast

 

The year has gone already