Wrestling with Monsters


I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.


Begging them to just leave me alone!



But these monsters inside of me

just don't care about what I want!


They want me to open up my heart,

so they can get inside.



I'm wrestling around with

the monsters inside me.


I don't know who's going to win...



I'm wrestling with the monsters inside of me,


I'm not sure whether I want 

to continue on...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote while I was in a dark place...

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Now *Title??*

I'm not who I used to be.


I used to be such a trusting person.

I used to be such a happy girl.

I used to be such a big smiler.

I don't believe what I used to.

I used to believe that everyone was good.

I used to believe that everyone will be loved.

I used to believe that everyone is truthful.

That was before.

That was before I was repetively hurt.

That was before I was repetively passed over.

That was before I was repetively rejected.

Now I'm a different person.

Now I'm slowly breaking inside.

Now I'm a less trusting person.

Now I'm a pro at pretending like I'm ok.

Now I believe differently.

Now I believe that I'll only be the friend.

Now I believe that I am not good enough.

Now I believe that no one loves me.

This is after.

This is after they used me.

This is after they lead me on.

This is after they left me broke.

Now. I. Am. Different.

Now. I. Am. Changed.

Now. I. Am. Broken.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think!!

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You Broke Me *up for suggestions*

I had built a wall up,

up around my heart.


I had protected my heart,

until you showed up 

in my life. 



I let my guard down,

exposing my wall to you.


I fell hard and 

I fell fast for you.


Instead of taking care 

of my heart and wall,

you decided to do otherwise.


You broke my wall down,

causing my heart to

be crushed and broken.


I gave you access 

to my heart

and you broke me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think!!!

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I'm crying,

crying out for help

but no one seems 

to hear.


I'm dying,

dying deep inside

but no one seems

to see.


I'm begging,

begging to be heard

but no one seems 

to care.


I'm withdrawing,

withdrawing from the world

but no one seems

to notice.


I'm breaking,

breaking down slowly,

but no one seems

to know.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think...

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I'm Hurt


I'm dying,

can't you see my struggle?

I'm crying,

can't you see my tears?

I'm pretending,

can't you sense my differentness?

I'm alone,

can't you sense my need?

I'm drowning,

can't you hear my cries?

I'm screaming,

can't you hear my pleads?



I'm breaking,

can't you feel my pain?


I'm hurting,

can't you feel my suffereing?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A poem about how I was feeling...

let me know what you think!

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Forever Unbound

Finally resolved to be rid of fate,
A solution to agony wrought of steel,
Ravenous pain, a way to sate,
And end a life that doesn't want to feel.
To break free of dark chains of hate,
To realize wounds time can not heal.
A way, through loss, to transcend,
A way, through loss, to ascend.
Cut through the physical with a knife.
A body breaking so the soul can mend.
Eyes closing in the last bit of life.
So as to enter the void of death.
To be free the flesh must rend.
So to finally be free with a final breath.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

I know it is depressing, do not tell me this. Constructive criticism is appreciated though.

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Daddy's Girl

My heart aches, Dad

for the things you can't do.

My soul breaks, Dad

for all that we been through.


I fear it's too late, Dad

to mend my broken heart.

I'm so full of hate, Dad

I don't know where to start.


You took away my hope, Dad

i think our relationship is done.

And now I'm left to cope, Dad

As I watch you love your son.


I want to scream and yell, Dad

but i fear my vioce will crack.

I want so much to tell you, Dad

I can't always take you back.


Please tell my words, Dad

for they are all i can say.

Treat my like I'm yours, Dad

Don't just throw me away.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Daddy's Girl? What a joke.

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Still Broken



I took one last trip down memory lane

I revisited a folder I still had of you, brought me so much pain

All the pictures I had saved

And all those beautiful messages I didn't wanna erase 


As I was reading every letter, every fucking word

I realized only then, how much I got hurt

I felt a tear fall from my eyes

Boiling with hatred from reading your lies


Reminiscing of all the promises you had made

All those memories we had built just to break

Every single moment 

With a few words, stolen


I felt like crying so fucking hard tonight

As I read along like a spiders venom, it hit me hard, I wanted to die

I regret not saying a few things to you

I regret doing things I should've never done

All those nerdy voices I promised I would never do

I regret most of it, but mostly letting my heart be strung


You were so young and so hopeless

I was older, I knew how to cope with this

I wrote so many songs for you, and you didn't appreciate 

Now you'll never know I still write you songs, but songs of hate


If I ever see you again, I can't say what I'll do

But it can't be anything nice or evil, but I will go talk to you

I will let you see me smile and even though deep down I'll be still broken

And maybe for a second you'll want me back, just for a moment 


But I won't be foolish this time around

For a while I was lost, but tonight I've been found

And I will never be sure of where I belong

But the next time I say those three words, I won't be wrong


X's and O's

When you were here, I felt distant 

And now that you're far away, I feel closer, it's different 

Many opportunities wasted by my past

I shot you down every time, for sex, you asked


I wanted to come over, be there all damn night 

But I couldn't give you my heart, my ex consumed my time

But now that I've burned away everything that belonged to her

I am feeling free, ready, willing, and my past is just a blur


I still can't say whether we would've worked out 

But I can say I would've tried my best, no doubt!

I would've spend these dark ages building, making you a fire

And if I couldn't make flames, I would use my body to keep you warm, fulfilling your every desire 


Maybe every word I'm saying now is hurting you 

Maybe every thing I'm saying is destroying you

But I can't help it, my pen keeps writing on these pages

And my heart keeps wanting to know about you, keep me updated 


I'm sorry I couldn't love you when you were here

But it wasn't entirely my fault, my mind was filled with fear

I had just been broken by a girl who said "all the right words"

And me, a gullible fuck, believed every syllable and was left hurt 


So understand me when I say that you are not to blame

People fear, laugh, cry but only a few change

And that's me, This is a new beginning 

I wish you all the best and I hope you start off better than it ended with me 





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