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I know what I'm doing

is seen as very wrong,

but there's something

about it that draws me in....

The feeling of pain

when i touch the blade

against my skin,

the sight of the blood

popping up to the surface

as i drag the blade,

the sensation of both

panic and calm,

mixing together

in my mind.

I know I shouldn't

do this,

but I actually like it

The way my skin heals

and then leaves a scar behind,

to remind me:

I'm still here,

I'm still alive,

I still bleed,

I still heal.

I'm not gone,

I'm not dead,

I'm not bloodless,

I'm not unfixable....

This cutting 

makes me feel again...