hurt

My Own Eyes are Not Mine

Falling through the repeated days
In a set trance in the dark eternal craze

To a tired struggle I kill another dove
and forget what I made a promise to be free of

Because it's simply easy, and rather too fun
But when I gained another side, I lost sight of the sun

I feel not to go around and walk a set path that fits my shoes
Looking at myself, these are not my own hands, nor my own views


I'm trying to find a person who I can call me
To be familiar with and call my own what I can see

 

But in the end it all tears apart sooner or later
The person I thought I knew inside is my only traitor

 

I change another face to fit another set day
To think it matters, but it somehow never did anyway

 

Everything can change from a single teardrop from the eye
But then again, who am I?

View definemystic's Full Portfolio

A Perfect Pair, A perfect fate

I'm being dragged bare against the road with no set destination

I didn't know love would feel like a morbid amputation

Running through my mind and yet no set estimation

Looking for salvation, but forever ending with sensation

 

I held my world up like you lit up the sky, you were my sun

To make me feel alive for once? You were the only one

Now the sun sets again, but the fright has just begun

I wait the day you rise again, I can't think it's said and done

 

One day, I know, you will not come back

For good, they say, I'd think I'd have a heart attack

With you I feel alive, but without the visions pitch black

You make me who I am, but you make me what I lack

 

But they say I think I feel isn't true

But when I saw you, I knew

You held me up like glue

and I knew right there,  that I couldn't live without you

 

I'll give you all the time you need and wait

To years to decades, for me its never too late

Even if I'm old, and almost by life's gate

To die together is my wish, to be a perfect fate

 

And so I love you with my being, and all my heart

Despite any other who can set us apart

I know from the end, and to the start

For this love is more than that, a beautiful beautiful art.








Within My Own

A being sewn with fine broken lace and without any eyes

Worn and torn, thus broken and weathered by years of many lies

Clings onto the forgotten but once noticed shelf just once more

Before the time comes to be shattered by the reality and the floor

 

I dare not speak of the past and the tunes played

But to mention the emotions that filled up this now empty room ,and warmed the hearts of many, once important but now meaningless

Comes now the cold and wicked air of the fallen and betrayed

 

She begs me now not to go back,

But I must travel the past once more

The confidence was there but now today I lack

because I fail to recognize when to shut the door

 

What was now alive is long gone, and dead

As we sing for another day, while someone else loses their head

The unspeakable and unmentionable becomes now our vision

We ignore and feign ignorance to proceed with our own decision

 

Greed is right behind my shoulders

I say that I must not become like the rest of the world

I try to kill the dark behind me but wait another day once more

I ripped the happiest moments from the book of memories

to hold it dearly, but it blocks my path today as huge boulders

 

As you try to lock the door

Something whispers faintly but ever so determined to your ear

"Do not dare forget, but do not be sore."

"The present dies, but a future born does not represent fear"

View definemystic's Full Portfolio

Lost to Sea

light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed, so it's not my turn 
I have infinite thoughts, but empty plans

Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls. and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow


To set the ominous breeze,
Over the most vibrant sea, that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease


To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine, and simply avoid
Now we sail, swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within, that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety, and thus become the restrictions

 

But this is not the end,
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in, and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun, and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers, but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in, and phase out
and thoughts become ideas, and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?

 

Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun, to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief, to be cruelly concealed, unaware?

 

The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration?

Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?






What Happened To That Little Girl? -TITLE HELP NEEDED-

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I was a happy little girl.

 

I wore poofy dresses,

and spun in them happily.

 

I ran around and played 

with both boys and girls.

 

I was a bit of a tomboy,

didn't mind getting dirty.

 

 

I ate apples instead of candy.

 

I climbed on anything

that I possibly could!

Alone with somethings that

no one though that I could!

 

 

I was such a happy little girl!

 

I smiled all the time,

I laughed at so many things,

I did just about anything!

 

I talked to strangers,

made friends in the blink of an eye!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Work in progress!

 

Help with title is needed and will be greatly appreciated! 

Can't Stop???? -Title help needed!!-

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

It started so innocently...

 

Just 3 small, 

small cuts,

placed carefully upon 

my left wrist.

 

And I figured it would

just be that once.

 

But I was wrong.

 

 

That was almost 5 weeks ago,

and I have kept going.

 

Gone a couple days

without making a mark,

 

but then I'm back again,

somehow...

 

Somehow I've gotten a blade

back into my hand,


I have cuts in places that

I would never have thought

I would ever have a cut!


I cut here,

then I cut there.



I don't cut deep,

I stay on the surface, 

too scared to go deeper,

and, frankly, I don't need to yet!



Oh what have i done?

Why did I do this?

Now... I don't know how to stop!

View thisisme789's Full Portfolio

This Cutting

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I know what I'm doing

is seen as very wrong,

but there's something

about it that draws me in....

 

The feeling of pain

when i touch the blade

against my skin,

 

the sight of the blood

popping up to the surface

as i drag the blade,

 

the sensation of both

panic and calm,

mixing together

in my mind.

 

 

I know I shouldn't

do this,

but I actually like it

 

The way my skin heals

and then leaves a scar behind,

to remind me:

 

I'm still here,

I'm still alive,

I still bleed,

I still heal.

 

I'm not gone,

I'm not dead,

I'm not bloodless,

I'm not unfixable....

 

 

This cutting 

makes me feel again...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is not fictional.... it's how I actually feel.. Please let me know what you think, or how you think i can improve it.

The Path of the River

I am bound again, just as they said I was
It's clear and beautiful blue hue becomes forever cloudy
A bird's chirps become distorted by the rain and thunder's cries

I walk alone the path of the river
Alone accompanied by my footprints only
Till the crow comes to bring yet another question
This I can't ignore, for the world will shiver


And the steam shall arise from my next decision
and the never's and forever's again will pour the air
I hope to hold on to whatever is left
The sun can tell another day, to become my true vision






View definemystic's Full Portfolio

Crawling

You're still lost within the time
The ultimate crime
That you couldn't really hurt
but now you're gone and just inert

You try to find meaning in the days
That it wasn't just a phase
That you could just lay in the sun
and never say you jumped the gun

and you lie wide awake at night
Hard at thought, ready to write
You wrote on a piece of paper "I think this time, I'll be okay"
But you don't really know, your thoughts never stay






View definemystic's Full Portfolio