hurt

Addictive Pain

Addictive Pain

They say eyes are the windows to the soul, but all your eyes do when you look at me is take control, I am no noble man and could never be a saint – all I've got is this pen and on this paper it’s my soul I paint.

I am a slave to the heart, wrapped up in mental chains – I let down my guard as your memory danced upon my brains. Staring at this blank wall as the paint starts to peel – these words could never really express how I feel.

Open my minds closet and let all my skeletons go, I need to be free from these secrets and let the world know. I once had a heart until I gave it to this woman, who then ripped it apart and had me doubting that I am human.

But this world is so cruel for a man like me, a man with a heart as sweet as candy. Even though I have been through love’s wrath, I would never divert and roam on hate’s path.

Knock on my door and look through my window, her love was more poisonous than a black widow. I swear that her heart bleeds ivory black, despite all this pain I always come back.

Mpho Lebohang Mokhele™ 
30/10/2014

The inspiration behind this piece is a relationship I was once involved in which possessed a lot of unrequited love and emotional manipulation.

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I'm Sorry

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I was once your baby girl.

Little and innocent,

You were ready to give me

the whole world.

 

But then I changed 

from kid to teen,

and I wasn't the same 

as I was once before.

 

I hurt myself because 

it makes me feel better,

putting the hurt on my skin

instead of inside my heart.

 

I'm sorry i've become

the kind of daughter you

don't want, never wanted.

 

I'm not innocent anymore,

I'm not your baby girl anymore....

I'm nothing good anymore..

 

I'm Sorry.

 

 

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Tortured Love

Folder: 
Just Poems

 

Our love is torture

Can’t you see?

That I am suffering

You say our love is met to be

But how can this be?

 

Our love is fire

It burns me to the core of my soul

Can I just blow it out?

 

Our love is passion

I can’t get enough of you

But you’re so far outta reach  

 

Our love is happiness

It’s like the sun and hearts all in one

Is this love that I’m in?

 

 

 

Our love is heartache

Sadness and sorrow all wrapped up with a bow

How can this be?

Weren’t we met to be?

 

 

Our love was nothing

As we were never truly met to be

 

Tears fall like rain drops on the window pane

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please do not take this poem and make it as your own, if you want to  use it please ask me first before you take it also please give me credit if you do have permission to use it. Because I will be pretty upset if you use my poems and not give me credit or anything like that. Also If I don’t know you I will not let you use it I don’t want to one day look on the internet and my poem is posted up and your name written on it I will know if you do so, I work really hard on my poems and wouldn’t like it if someone else took credit for my work. What good would it do you if you stole my work anyways?  Would it make you feel better that you stole work that wasn’t even yours to begin with.

 

Marsha 

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The Dismantling Of A Soul

 


She's tried to be the strong one,

that sturdy, unbreakable wall.

But after years of doing it alone,

-the mortar starts to fall.



What's held her all together,

slowly drops away.

More and more corrosion,

takes a toll each day.



Then the bricks, of her strength,

start to break and crumble.

There upon the debris,

she begins to blindly stumble.



One by one,

they fall out of place.

Till finally, at last,

she's but an empty space.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

From 2003....

Thank God that now...my soul has been REBUILT!!! <3

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Sassafras

When I say the magic word, 

all of this can end. 

Sassafras. 

After the news I heard today, 

I know exactly where we stand. 

Sassafras. 

You won't even see it coming, 

It'll be a quick blow to the head. 

Sassafras. 

Was all this pain really worth it,

when you tried to lay in her bed? 

Sassafras. 

Even though I hate the bitch,

I'm glad she stood her ground. 

Sassafras.

I wish I could have seen your face

when she "sadly" turned you down. 

Sassafras. 

Now everyone is talking 

you're the joke of the town

Sassafras. 

Where are you going to turn

now that no one is around?

Sassafras. 

None of this is my fault,

but I should have seen the signs.

Sassafras. 

Should have looked a little closer,

should have read between the lines. 

Sassafras. 

I thought we were in love

when I looked into your eyes.

Sassafras.

But now I know it's true,

that even love is blind. 

Sassafras. 

A Face and A Mirror

and I'll find my way back and fill every crack
of what I dared to abandon and lack
As I hid under a shadow and erased my name
Because all others thought I was just a game

To take the needles called imperfections out of my heart
and use them as the strength to guide me a better part
Where the papers of my chapter aren't so wrinkled and illegible anymore
and I open my real eyes and to the light, beckoning, a real door


To my surprise, all is shining and ever free
and the clear sparkle of waters bring to reflect the real me
So, then, what brings you, what monster are you, foul mirror?
To sacrifice my time and what I hold ever dearer?


I ask you then, will it be a face, or will it be my words?
Or do my words mean nothing, flocking appeal to idle herds?

Bring to me please, the powerful quality and grace of personality
and let beauty paint my face, beauty associated with the pureness of my mentality

Pretending

So many tears,

Shed along that day.

so many fears,

That will always stay.

Though looking out,

With a smiling face,

I need to shout.

Where joy should be,

There is only doubt.

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Clipped wings

When from my eyes flow bitter tears,

And when my heart grows full of fears,

You alone ask if I am ok,

And tell me that you want me to stay.

I thank you now for all your words,

That let me soar, just like the birds.

Though soon, again, I fall to the ground,

And know that I shall never be forever unbound.

what you want

You don't love me...
I see it in your eyes,
I see it in your being,
You try so hard sometimes...
that I annoy myself...
you deserve complete happiness ...

you don't love me...
just admit it love...
you want more,
I want more...

I have given myself to you...
but you refuse to give me anything...
you're holding back so much...

I'm sorry love...
I wish I could be what you want...
what you need...

I don't demand much...
maybe you need a push...
but no, I don't want to force you ...
I grew to love you...
but I'm not the one you want...

good bye love

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