I light a fire just to watch it burn
Sit across the street with empty hands
Behind a tree unnoticed, so it's not my turn
I have infinite thoughts, but empty plans
Ending up only to be pretty hollow
Ideas only stay for portion of a second
Echoing through the empty walls. and then comes nothing
Diffusing into the air, to become a forgotten particle
and nothing comes to follow
To set the ominous breeze,
Over the most vibrant sea, that suddenly lost color
and the skies are now gone and dull
They paint the picture to not excite, but simply appease
To be trapped inside this now and empty void
With nothing but everything destroyed
To say that we are fine, and simply avoid
Now we sail, swift onto the large sea of contradictions
Too lost within, that we forget our own convictions
Letting loose the anchor of anxiety, and thus become the restrictions
But this is not the end,
A man aboard throws over his only friend
And a storm rolls in, and then our destination is not known
As realization becomes the new sun, and hearts are turned to stone
A daughter now deserted by her parents is overwhelmed in strife
She whimpers, but can not help wonder what makes up this sickly life
A world where people phase in, and phase out
and thoughts become ideas, and ideas become a shout
and how long does a day go on to stay out and last,
Before awesome expectations become invisible, straight into the past?
Will the ship find it's way to land, or sink in despair?
Great ideas no match for the roaring waves of Negativity and ignorance?
Those striving so long for a real sun, to only be in vain, deprived?
And those hopelessly waiting for relief, to be cruelly concealed, unaware?
The masterpiece of a book now weathered to nothing but scribbles
A great idea now hidden and destroyed by life's cruel riddles
Will the hands be strong at ease to create another inspiration?
Or will it fail to swim over the simplest waves and forget it's own foundation?
the need
to be ugly
to get
attention
to be pathetic
out of grief
for lives
destroyed
i've known
comatose
with more
intelligence
2:16 AM 7/6/2013 ©
...............
you have nothing to offer, is all she said
nothing to give, and nothing to love for
a shadow of what she used to see, an image
that cannot brake free, let it stay away from me
don’t haunt me, is what she pleads to the sea
twist and shout, why must it linger within
every doubt, every corner, every lonesome moment
such a vast world, but i see you, only you, always you
you’re that creature that keeps a hold on me
forever a struggle, telling me to fight for thee
sunrise wont come when your names forgotten, a guarantee
this fairytale concludes in our collapse from dust to ashes
don’t want to recall the misery, yet cant escape the flashes
Its a mystery how you wont fade, leaves me ever afraid
we can seek the will to see upon the world unclouded
Its not about what they say is best, or what is right
cannot be true if you listen to someone who is not you
promise you wont be deceiving, don’t put up a wall for them all
we were meant to always rise, to save a life, even if once more we take a fall
there’s no time to hold, be brave, that’s what they told
even if this is our end, don’t sway, I’m always yours, we’ll transcend
happiness comes unexpected when we forget to worry, we just do, so smile and be you
care for them all, the sad and lonely, present and past
they change us, for better and yet sometimes for worse
wont forget their souls, we carry parts of them, will we ever be whole
but remember to not lose sight of who you really are
hope you’ll always stay a shooting star
e.a.
We dream until we don't
We live until we stop
All these days are now
And then they're not
I live today, tonight, tomorrow
Maybe it'll save me from sorrow
A reality I chose to follow
leads a still life, lost in between
constant cracks throughout my path
Always craving something more
yet held by phantoms that spin me round
They made me nauseous where I'm bound
Unshackle me from there
I do not belong 'round here
Free thyself from these accursed lands
Brake the spell that tie the bands
The world is moving, shifting by
I'm standing without a reason why
nothing more may hold me
I'm really leaving now, goodbye
E.A.
Forget these flowers
That refuse to bloom.
Forget these stars
That refuse to shine.
Forget those days
When pain was your life.
Forget those days
When peace was a myth.
Forget all you like,
But
Promise me this,
You won't forget
To remember.
Maybe someday I’ll find the person I’m meant to be
That there’s truly a purpose in life
But for now I’m just trying to live day by day
Through all of this nonsense and strife
I wish that my friends could all see
How the problems and issues and things that they do
Don’t affect only them, also me
Through boyfriends and girlfriends and stupid high school
I’m the one who must remain collected and cool
They tell me their problems
I give them advice
I’m the one with the answers solutions and nice
Things to say about everyone despite my true thoughts
Sometimes their problems tie my heart up in knots.
They need me to be
Strong, understanding me
But I need the same thing from somebody else
But no one is there
So I make my feelings disappear
I don’t share my problems with the friends who share theirs
I probably could but not one of them cares
I wish I could trust them the way they trust me
But I’ve been used and mistreated too often you see
So regardless of trust, love, and belief
I have all this sadness, depression, and grief
These feelings I do so well to hide
They are bottled up and growing inside
I wish I could find a way to get it all out
But I think if I start I think I’ll become like a spout
I’ll cry and cry and no words will be said
But I wish I had someone to hear with their heart not their head
I wish I could tell everyone the way that I feel
That I do have feelings and they are SO real
But instead I live with a faked happy smile
And pretend that I feel like my life is worthwhile
But I often wonder how it would be
If something terrible happened to me
Would anyone notice?
Would anyone care?
Would it only be cause there was an empty chair?
Would anyone feel like something was wrong?
Would anyone notice if I was just gone?
Would they go out looking for me?
Or would they just be upset that the house wasn’t clean?
Or they had no one to talk to when people were mean?
There are days when I wish I could just go back home
To the people who call me one of their own
Ever since moving I’ve had no real connection
No new friends to share love and affection
But I know if I go back
Everyone would be so used to not having me there
That they would forget about me or just really not care
They have already replaced me
It’s easy to see
They hang out with new friends but I don’t have any
It makes me so sad cause I used to have many
My parents and siblings just don’t understand
There are only two people who do
But they are so busy I don’t see them much but when I do
They just have to say
Three little words
To make everything okay
When they say “I love you”
And hold me so tight
It’s the only thing in this crazy world that feels right
Hugs, kisses, love and understanding are the things that I need
They sink into my heart and they grow like a seed
They grow and they bloom till my heart overflows
With love, understanding, and caring that shows
But sometimes even those hugs, kisses, and love
Cannot lift the dark rain cloud that looms up above
Some days there is nothing that anyone can do
To lift my spirits when I’m feeling blue
I put on a good face and make people think that I’m great
But inside my heart is breaking like a porcelain plate
It's the color of life.
My life,
green grass.
New life
seed sprouts.
Renewed life,
tree leaves.
It's the color of envy
My envy,
of life.
Your envy,
of them.
Everyone's envy
of stuff.
It's the color of freshness
My freshness
clean clothes
Their freshness
dirty words
Earth's freshness,
new life.
It's the color of movement
My movement,
my future.
Your movement,
full ahead
Someone's movement
beyond reach.
Green.