Acceptance

My Five Day Hallucination

It was Day 1 when it was scorching hot and we crossed paths.

I was looking for an oasis to drink from,

Though a hug from you was a thousand times better

Because afterwards, we went swimming in the lake and laughed at the gold diggers passing by.

Poor men were oblivious that they mined their last nugget in this desert.

 

It was Day 2 when we continued our journey.

You introduced me to your bitches when you brought me home.

One licked me silly while the second took a while to come around.

It was only trying to judge me to see if I would be a menace to your family.

I’ve always liked the playful, funny, and carefree breeds.

 

It was Day 3 when you showed me your larger-than-life garden.

You spoke of how your brother and mother had toiled day and night tending to it.

The garden was shaped like the number 5 and I couldn’t be happier.

You regaled me with stories of an ancient civilization that once existed in this land of the dead.

Every word from your tongue between breaths was like a missing page in a book lost in time.

 

It was Day 4 when I crawled on my knees after a beating from a two-faced sergeant

Looking for you so you could lift me back on my two feet and hold me close

But to add insult to injury, you held your scorn like you should’ve held my hands.

So I passed out on the floor and was left for dead out in the open.

How do indecisive weeds like you sleep at night?

 

It was Day 5 when I woke up expecting you’d be there, but your home was empty.

Your garden was withered and the magic was gone so it turns out that it was all a mirage.

You can rationalize your actions and demonize me any way you like,

But when you save your second thoughts for one minute before midnight,

It’s goodbye and good riddance to you weeds.

 

So I left. It was better for me to abandon you before you inevitably did the same.

The world is full of snakes and trojans as it is.

It’s best for me to give them a dose of their own venom as soon as I see right through them.

 

You should’ve told me earlier rather than at the last minute.

Or when I have fallen and can’t get up.

Then maybe we could’ve still been friends.

But now you’re just another silhouette that shears hearts like hedges.

 

If you’re looking to post an ad requesting company in a moment of loneliness,

Think again before you shatter another heart or wager your sanity.

A weed ain’t cut out for love, let alone a friendship

If it can’t make up its mind and let its loneliness fog its judgment.

Poor guy should’ve inspected the thorns before he picked the rose.

 

Now it’s my turn to wager a few things,

I bet you don’t even miss me.

I bet you feigned regret that you added salt in the wound.

I bet that you’ll forget all about me after the weekend I disappeared.

I bet you’ll cower in the arms of the two bitches you value most in life.

I bet you’ll start looking for another soul that you’ll pray to Aphrodite you won’t screw over.

Whatever happens to you, I am grateful that I have kin to keep tight

And an adventure I continue to embark on in the desert with or without you there for me.

You’re just another silhouette that shears hearts like hedges.

THE AMBLANCE IS ON ITS WAY

We all heard the siren while on the road that day.

We all immediately slowed down…pulled off the road

there was an ambulance on the way.

 

And I thought to myself:

it isn’t likely 

the person hurt…

is any one we knew

but how wonderful 

everyone instinctively 

allowed the ambulance to go through.

 

We had no way of knowing if the person hurt

was black 

or white, 

if they were 

a muslim, 

a jew 

or gay.

We only knew someone was in trouble 

and there was an ambulance on the way.

 

And I wondered:

if we knew the person hurt 

was black

or white, 

if we knew they were gay

a muslim, 

or a jew 

would that have changed the way some of us reacted…

would we have still allowed the ambulance through? 

 

And it made me long for a world where we don’t care 

if a person 

is black 

or white, 

where we don’t care 

if they are a muslim, 

a jew 

or gay

A world where we treated everyone 

as if

 

the ambulance was on its way.


A DREAM IF YOU WILL

When we open our eyes to the world we can see her beauty everywhere.

from the colors of the trees to the birds that populate the air.

 

When we open our eyes to the world and see the beauty she imparts

We can’t help but feel joy in our souls and love within our hearts

 

When we close our eyes to the world…some of her vibrancy fades away

We begin to see the colors around us in quite a different way.

 

When we close our eyes to the world…we no longer see the beauty she imparts

We allow prejudice to touch our souls and hate to invade our hearts.

 

I believe our eyes all start out equally…free to see beauty everywhere…

urging all of us to feel the joy…and love that floats upon the air.

 

Sight is a fragile sense, however…and so easily we can lose it

depending on those around us…and how we’re taught to use it. 

 

But even if we’re taught in such a way our eyes become impaired…

There is a silver lining…for sight can be repaired.

 

Which leads to a hope…a dream if you will…that one day all our minds will be free

that prejudice will fade into the past…when we are again taught how to see.

 

When we again open our eyes to the colors all around us 

again look out on the world and see

the beauty in our differences…

 

the beauty in our diversity.


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Glass Stains

Looking out the window

For miracle to be told

Radio hummed even heavier

As headlights headed north

These things bound to roll:

No more than before

No less than to come

 

Looking glass stains my eyes

For miracle to be told

Wind strummed even flatter

As the road headed higher

I hoped to hear once more:

Something has gone

Something has come

 

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The Difference

Folder: 
Haiku

There is letting go,

And then there is giving up.

Oh so similar.


There is acceptance,

And then there is cowardice.

They are different.


There is foolishness,

And then there is bravery.

You will know after.

"Accept"

Folder: 
Quotes

by Jeph Johnson

 

Acknowledging something
Is not the same as
Agreeing with it

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012

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I Choose Love

If I am free to choose the person I can be
Then I choose love and kindness, love and compassion, love and generosity.

I choose love and happiness, love and acceptance, love and beauty in all I see
I choose love for every creature on the Earth...love for all my family.

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Final Stage

Disgust, anger, fear, denial, reason, acceptance, denial, acceptance, effort, total acceptance, disappointment, release, rebuilding. 

 

My love for myself must far exceeded all the misguided love I put in you. 

You were my happy space, my blue sky, my lover, and my confidant. 

But I wasn't your jack of all trades in love. 

For so long you were more important than me, to me. 

Then you hit the eject button on our roller coaster of love.  

To my rose colored glasses just as we were getting to another straight. 

In front of me, a hard, I meaneed diamond to safety scissors hard place. 

Behind me, the rock that held Excalibur. 

I had my hands prime to free that sword for so long...

Little did I know it would soon become the weapon lodged deep into my heart. 

My king of a broken kingdom...How fitting is that title?

I thought I failed my son by allowing his vision of a 2 parent filled home to be snatched away. Should have tried harder but that takes two to tango.

Little did I know I was filling his eyes with deception and terrible renditions of a happy home. 

All bad? No not at all. 

No scars or abuse, as it would seem we just forced a round peg in a square hole at the wrong time stamp.

Trips down memory lane? Sorry we don't go that route anymore. 

You made it look so easy, and that ease killed me even more.

If I am ever to rebuild this dynasty it must be on new ground. 

The foundation we once had turned into a sinkhole the size of the Grand Canyon. 

We constantly defend ourselves against the other until we ended up on the attack without conscience effort. 

No fears my heart is trying to get the grand opening sign back up and lit. 

My mind wants to believe in a world that wouldn't just make me view love from a cage. 

No desperation here I can and will wait on my King! 

Until then I will clean my castle and fine tune my Queenly charm, so that it is ready to greet him royally upon his arrival. 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's alot and it's a bit of babbling, but it's my heart open for display. I loved, lost, and wish to love again one day much later. This is my healing process. 

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Not My King

He is a creation of my making. 

I carried him protected him within my person until the day of his birth. 

Once here all my childish wants and affairs stopped. 

I can't go out tonight my son comes first. 

Can't sleep all day my son comes first.

If all I had to do was watch him explore the world all day I would be at peace.

He knows how to push the limits, but he doesn't know any better yet so I guide him. 

I couldn't imagine anything being more important. 

Nothing comes before him.

Not a friend or family member no matter how close.

This is now my responsibility to cherish, teach, and defend. 

Anything that would draw away my attention, or ability to provide for him must be cut off. 

I could never write him a rain check. 

I would tear down any wall separating me from him.

Our distance causes me distress. 

Not to discredit anyone else but as for me he is priority number 1. 

It's ok to have a life and fun outside of being his parent but I realize that is only temporary. I could never part with him for any reason.  

Anyone who would have me try isn't worthy of his presence. 

I barter and compromise with no one on his safety or care. 

By this same token I will train my child up on the way that he should go. 

With patience, discipline, and love. 

A model citizen after my grandfather and father. 

Pouring into him the information on how to avoid the mistakes of my past, whilst knowing he must make his own future.

I can't hold his hand forever, and some days I may have to simply witness as he falls. 

It is my job to nurture and build his ability to love.

All the while making sure he has plenty examples of real love.

I am his mother, not his queen. 

He is my prince, not my king. 

One day he will have a woman and family who needs his full attention.

When I am sure he is secure in his decision to work is done. 

I will always love him and guide him when asked, but she will be his new number one.

She will care for him, inform him, and be his help mate for this new stage of life. 

And I will enjoy the fruits of their love from my new position in life. 

He will always be my baby boy, but he is destined for more than my watchful eye. 

My prayers will cover him when he is out of my sight, and likewise when he reunites with his rib.