soul

Drowning

Everywhere I look is destruction
Everything I’ve built is ruined
It’s remains litter my past
With little hope for the future
You are my own worst enemy
It’s not the pressure of what I should be
It’s that I’m drowning in a sea of Me
I can’t believe that you’d lie to my face
But that’s your nature
You can’t help it
You’re a spawn of the Father of Deceit himself
A child of the devil
Just let me go
Die already
That I may live
And live fuller
Let go of me!
I am no longer am under your power
So why do I fall for it?
Why can’t I die that I may live?
Why can’t I kill my Self that I may survive?
That demon of ancient instinct
Who’s preyed upon my soul for so long
I know what’s right
And yet I choose wrong
Willingly
Passionately
Go to Hell Self,
Go back to where you belong
Free my soul from your clutches
That I may live eternally
For I know you
And I am my own worst enemy

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The right way

So much hate in this world, So many tears, and So many fears in this world that turns.
Turns So slowly like and empty merry go round abandoned by the children.
They loathe and conquer the meek. They digest souls as they walk aimlessly.
They are everywhere omnisciently waiting to devour.
They know not another way to live. They wouldn’t change if they could.
If you, like so many wear your heart on your sleeve they will steal it from you. They will fight one another for your heart for theirs does not beat with love and compassion, it only knows hate.
Their hateful hearts feed off love. They steal love like something on a shelf unaware they are captors.
They devour and indulge in helpless souls that endeavor to find love.
You expect one day for them to see their evil ways. It will never happen.
You wait foolishly like the rest just to contest and complain, all the while rotting your brain to nothing.
You let your heart bleed out precious blood. This is the blood that saves instead of prey, the blood pure with true intentions and valuable lessons. This is the blood that was passed down generations just for your heart to beat and be torn to pieces like a vicious lion mauling its victim.
You must move on. You are better than this. The entire world is not this way.
This world is not only dismay and destruction. It is more! You must find your way in this darkness we call the world with no light. You must fight and struggle to break free and find peace.
You will obtain the peace; you will find it like lost keys one day, probably in front of your face begging you to look while you turn the other way.
You must for now continue the journey and the learning, the struggle and the yearning.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I approached writing this in a much different way that when i usually write. I'm just experimenting with this and will probably add much more to it.

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Forsaking

Folder: 
Songs

Been gone too long
Can’t let you in
Won’t let you see all the darkness within
Live in my dreams
So close to me
But now I see how things have to be

 

Deep in my head
My spirit’s dead
I just can’t live past my apathy
My fire’s out
Clouded with doubt
Now I see how things will have to be

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

 

The light once mine
So long has been dying
Under the demon I once called Myself
It’s time to stand
Come take my hand
Won’t have to leave this for someone else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

 

I choose life
I choose love
I choose God
Above all else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

Jen-one

Folder: 
Poetry

A human soul, a microchip brain, built of synthetic flesh, birthed from the lonely and the powerful. Transplanted inside the human machine, she is the first, she is the gen-1, she is ghost.

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This I Ask

Make me a torch
Set me aflame
Like you did to those before me
A burning fire,
Bright and hot
That cannot be ignored
Use me as a light
To shine on the dark
Use me as salt
To attract those who are hungry
Make me a preserver
To uphold the human soul
Use me as Your mouth-piece
The still, small voice
That draws them to You
Those unforgettable words
That shakes the soul
Use me as Your hands
To heal the broken,
To comfort those who mourn
To give them beauty for their ashes
And joy instead of sorrow
To rebuild the ruin, the devastations,
And destructions of the past
Use me as Your feet
I’ll go where you send me
For “I am here; send me!”
Lord, use me as a servant
To teach through what I do
Not just from what I say
To “Harvest, for the time is ripe”
To serve others, and not myself
Father, show me to be Your son
Your blood washes over me
Show this to them
That they can see
That they can hear
That they can shout
What You have done for me
That they can know
That they can understand
That they can be loved too
And that is only from You

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FOR YOU

FOR YOU

With the ups and downs
and the ins and outs
you get good and bad
great and terrible.
Treat it all as a wave
roll with it till it crashes
the end result will be what is ment.
Keep your mind clear and free
like the beautiful sand lifting off earth.
Life doesn't end, it shape shifts;
changing with every decision and every stage of life.
Grab every shape and place it in the proper location;
ovals in your eyes, circle on your neck and heart in your chest.
Easy your mind, body and soul with fresh air of everyday.
Smile, laugh, love and live!
Four key points to a great life.
Smile for everyone that can't,
laugh for those that don't see joy,
Love like you have never loved before,
and live for those that no longer do.

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S.P.K

S.P.K

I was broken from the start
when you carried me
cut me open
fixed me
Believed in me
then like the sad poor kid
I opened up
poored cement in my heart
Strung me from a tree
Shot words of hate into my vains
kept me alive
long enough to torment this soul
and left me to die
let the crows of hate
eat and feist on this tired
torn
broken
dead body

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Just idk ..

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tormented And Hurt

tormented and hurt

i can feel it coming on
like the calm before the storm
like a flower without sunlight
is my body badly torn
i took it for granted the days i could go
now i sit here, all alone
day by day it doesnt change
just a hard uphill battle every fucking day
tomorrow will be bad
probably worse than today
as i walk to the front door
and smell the air
my breathing gets heavy
hands start to shake
can feel like my knees , are starting to break
i can see the sunlight
just out of my reach
as i drop to the floor, feet from the door
its already to late
it broke my legs
and cut my throut
with its long rusty jaged hooks
into my back
it halls me back to hell ,
It has won
anxiety and depression
will not be overcome ...
even tho ill wait my chance
day by day
I'll once again to break free someday ...

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Death and the Crow

Folder: 
Camino

The smell of the dying and the dead that littered the streets had become so overwhelming, the plague itself almost became a forgotten thing, next to the walls of decay. Body stacked on body; miles of arms and legs, and the crows and worms both living and dead that were left as a testament to the plague's power. Even the chemical masks that had been scavenged from the dead, did little to hold back the putrid stench of death. There are many stumbling blocks on the road to salvation.