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Pain

Again

Like blood running red

From a bullet in my head

I am my worst enemy

And I just lost a battle with me

See, it’s clear

I am the one thing that I fear

For I can only truly be free

From anything other than me

I want to do good, I know I can

But in the mirror is a man

I don’t recognize

Whom I despise

Because it’s me I’ve idolized

I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I,I

I’m sick of the lie

That I’ve been handed

That I’ve been branded

That the world revolves around me

It can’t be

Or else I wouldn’t be in this mess

To keep God God, I’ve learned is best

Everywhere I look is destruction
Everything I’ve built is ruined
It’s remains litter my past
With little hope for the future
You are my own worst enemy
It’s not the pressure of what I should be
It’s that I’m drowning in a sea of Me
I can’t believe that you’d lie to my face
But that’s your nature
You can’t help it
You’re a spawn of the Father of Deceit himself
A child of the devil
Just let me go
Die already
That I may live
And live fuller
Let go of me!
I am no longer am under your power
So why do I fall for it?
Why can’t I die that I may live?
Why can’t I kill my Self that I may survive?
That demon of ancient instinct
Who’s preyed upon my soul for so long
I know what’s right
And yet I choose wrong
Willingly
Passionately
Go to Hell Self,
Go back to where you belong
Free my soul from your clutches
That I may live eternally
For I know you
And I am my own worst enemy

Why did you do this?

I ask you for nothing

I didnt even know you.

Why me?

I deserve an answer.

Instead you grin.

Tear one.

I even tried to help you

Still sour?

Ill play by your rules

You snicker. This is pain.

Tear two.

Im trying to understand.

If you would let me.

Wait, I dont need your permission!

You dont own me!

Smacked down

While hearing the sound of hysterical laughter

Three, Four. . .Tweleve. . . Twenty.

I give up.

I can no longer cry for you, Confidence.

      Sharmaine Marie
NOV 5 2012 6:56 PM