To enjoy the dead
and hate the living
to be awake in bed
and never offer a giving
Poke your eyes out and hear
Every rock is screaming
be it far
be it near.
Crying while you take out
the blade from her chest.
"They made me do it!
I'm weak!
He will kill menow
cause she told him to
or she will die from his left hand
cause his right was cut
off by a righteous man
who fought for a woman
who never loved
after she was raped
by the pastor
when she prayed
to be free
but the pastor had taken
more pills than
his mortal God
told him to take."
All that ends in hell
started in Eden.
You cry as I cry.
You don't see me
as I see you,
but you can smell me.
You don't know that the smell is mine.
It just reminds you
of the home
you had
when you were a baby.
It reminds you
of your first love,
of your wife,
of your dead child,
though you never knew her,
it reminds you of
peace
and that makes you cry more and the guilt is tearingyour ribs and your own breath is suffocating you.
"
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
"
I can't forgive you.
Life
happiness, disappointments
breathing, smiling, crying
journey with no destination
existance
October.20.2003
Trisha Barrek Hopkins
Once again I'm in a losing battle
Lost with no place to hide
As I walk I feel my bones rattle
Once again my heart has died
These thoughts to stop I've tried
Day and night I just go on crying
I have no more strength
Just let me go on dying
Once again to myself I fight
To myself I keep lying
This battle of mine is so long in length
Truth is no one is out there
Who will for me go that extra mile
No one for me to care
I just want this frown to go away
So I can smile
But nothing nice people can say
To show I mean something
To let me know they hear
But It's just games they play
Being alone is my biggest fear
Hurt is what I feel everyday
God is so unfair
What is left is hatered
To my heart you bring
A lasting tear
No one with me
Wants to forever be by my side
No one wants to stay
When they see me they turn around to hide
With me they don't want to be
I must remain alone
Till my dying day
And my heart
It turned back to stone
No more do I care
What people have to say
Because getting close to me will anyone dare
Copyright
what ever I right just read it for me,
I tryed to cry but I can't
I one to be together like family for summer
I laughed I smile to keep you happy as family
But you didn't care about my real ship
So come and enjoy to being my part of my family
I'am think's full for you that make me part of you family
Be together!
Because this is the thing that makes you laugh happy
Just do everything your family friends to you
Be a great peron like me
I know that I didn't did any respect full things
But I realy tryed to be a very good boy, like you been to your family
From today I will do every thing like my dad
WAHEED BE TOGETHER
I'm dying,
can't you see my struggle?
I'm crying,
can't you see my tears?
I'm pretending,
can't you sense my differentness?
I'm alone,
can't you sense my need?
I'm drowning,
can't you hear my cries?
I'm screaming,
can't you hear my pleads?
I'm breaking,
can't you feel my pain?
I'm hurting,
can't you feel my suffereing?
Depression...
What people think it is:
Sadness, crying, dressing in black.
But they're wrong...
Depresion is:
always feeling numb....
Numb to emotions,
numb to life...
Wake up in the morning,
pretend you're okay,
then sleep again...
Repeat daily.
You smile, but you want to cry...
You talk, but you just want to be quiet.
You pretend to be happy, but you aren't!
Depression is feeling trapped,
abandoned,
lonely,
scared,
tired,
lost.
Depression is feeling like you're suffocating,
like you're never going to breath again.
Depression is those times when you're happy,
and then suddenly,
for NO reason, you become hit with sadness,
and you break down again....
Crying those tears,
those tears that hurt to cry.
Your body racking with the pain.
You're crying so hard
that you can barely breathe,
you clutch your stomach,
trying to breath or keep quiet,
trying to make it stop!
You sink to the floor,
holding your body,
trying to hold yourself together.
That's depression...
I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone
I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead
As I lay in my room with you thinking I'm dreaming of the day gone, I hear you cutting into oneanother with words, screams, shouts, and insults. You both smoke because if you didn't let anger out on eachother or let it out in a cigarette you'd probably explode or going into a tear soked, pain induced, hatred caused, depression.
When I finally do sleep and you have run out of razors I dream of a world where war was a nightmare of politicans and never existed. This world is where a smile meant some thing and the only four letter words were hope, love, care, and glad. Sad and hurt were feeling you got only when you fell but you went home to your mother and father and everything became alright. The only tears shed were tears of joy.
I'm awake and you're at it again with the razors you found under the bed throwing them at eachother. Some you missed and others were direct hits. PLEASE JUST STOP.
~~~
the glistening dew upon
the petals of a rose,
and the
mourning sun
<¤>
the caustic yet subtle pungency
of sandalwood twirling past my nares
and
the forest leaves underfoot
<¤>
a newborn baby's wail
and walls
and walls
of silence
layers
and layers
of denial
and
shame inflicted
love constricted
*
tightly wound
to cover the
pain of the past
ironically
making it last
<¤>
now,
here
i
sit
with dimestore favorites in an old shoebox
my kept treasures
after your funeral
and memories that you left
it feels so senseless
bereft
<¤>
your burning passion
LOVE
LOVE
love of country
that was
that gaping bore,
carved into the very core of your soul...
...from war
<¤>
the depth of compassion in the heart
of a nine year old
waking in the night
to the sound of
weeping
¤
sneaking down the stairs
peering through the railing
the clenched fists pressed tightly to eyes
desperation overflowing
overwhelming feelings
of sorrow
of shame
of anger
of helplessness
*
torment
*
teardrops
that brandished holes
upon my heart
to watch you
hide your turmoil
in the darkness of the night
...alone
¥
and now
you are gone
.:-'*'-:.
you never knew...
I saw!
you never knew
I felt it too!
~~~~