Quietly, she sits alone in an empty home
But the home she knows doesn't know her anymore
Unkindly, now she erupts out of her disgust
But the only thing disgusting is her own soul
-And now she's too far gone
She cannot be saved
Just like a fallen angel- (chorus1)
Desperately, she tries to make her way through this life
But life doesn't want her to find a way inside
Frantically, she searches for a reason to try
But all she can find is more pain for all her crimes
-Oh, now she's too far gone
She'll never be saved
Just like a fallen angel- (chorus2)
Vengefully, she lashes out in a violent rage
As the rage takes over her broken, fragile mind
Shamefully, she resides in a cold steel prison cage
And this cage is where she'll ultimately die
-Too bad she's too far gone
She couldn't be saved
She was a fallen angel- (chorus3)
A fallen angel
A fallen angel
Like a wilted rose's petals
Like a bird stripped of its feathers
Like a soldier killed in battle
Like a blind man wanders the streets
Like a guitar without its strings
Like a heart that no longer beats
It's useless
What is the point if none of it matters?
Sometimes I think if we all got sucked into a black hole then everything would be okay
You seem to think if we all got fucked by those in control, then nobody could complain
But what's the point, right?
(chorus)
Like a god without followers
Like a jester with no king to serve
Like a prayer that's never heard
Like a fire with nothing to burn
Like a corpse that no one will mourn
Like a world that's become so torn
So worthless
What is the point if none of it matters?
Sometimes I think if we all got sucked into a black hole then everything would be okay
You seem to think if we all got fucked by those in control, then nobody could complain
But what's the point, right?
It's useless
So worthless
Sometimes I think if we all got sucked into a black hole then everything would be okay
You seem to think if we all got fucked by those in control, then nobody could complain
But what's the point,
But what's the point,
But whats the point…right?
Sometimes it feels like I'm lost at sea
And I can't breathe
Sometimes I feel the walls closing in
And it's the end
Maybe I need to take a step back
And just relax
Maybe I don't have to say goodbye
And I'm just fine
-But what if it's too late, and I must accept my fate
If I try/ will I die
Stay alive/ say goodnight
Only the strong survive
But what if I'm too late, and I must prepare to break
Grip the knife/ wasted life
Search for light/ dead of night
Only the strong survive- (chorus)
Sometimes it feels like I'm gonna drown
And I'm face down
Sometimes I feel my limbs going numb
And I can't run
Maybe I need to try to stand up
And not give up
Maybe I need to just clear my mind
And I'll be fine
But what if it's too late, and I must accept my fate
If I try/ will I die
Stay alive/ say goodnight
Only the strong survive
But what if I'm too late, and I must prepare to break
Grip the knife/ wasted life
Search for light/ dead of night
Only the strong survive
I don't want to die tonight
I don't want to lose this fight
I don't want to see the light
I don't want to die tonight
But what if it's too late, and I must accept my fate
If I try/ will I die
Stay alive/ say goodnight
Only the strong survive
But what if I'm too late, and I must prepare to break
Grip the knife/ wasted life
Search for light/ dead of night
Only the strong survive
Only the strong survive
Trust in me
And you will see
The ending scene
Of you and me
Confusion and intrusion
Combine to give birth to delusion
Envision an illusion
That breeds division by infusion
And if you want to live this dream
Well then you need to be asleep
And you wonder why things are the way they are
Trust in them
You'll be condemned
You cannot swim
You will not win
Confusion and intrusion
Combine to give birth to delusion
Envision an illusion
That breeds division by infusion
And if you want to live this dream
Well then you need to be asleep
And you wonder why things are the way they are
Trust no one
Nowhere to run
Burn up the sun
Fuck everyone
Confusion and intrusion
Combine to give birth to delusion
Envision an illusion
That breeds division by infusion
And if you want to live this dream
Well then you need to be asleep
But you don't know why things are the way they are
Why don't you just go back to sleep
So the illusion can be seen
Throw out normalcy
Play into the hands of insanity
Mental vacancy
Becoming one with this travesty
Don't force your disease on me
Go back to hugging your trees
And eating your plants and seeds
While you choke on your vanity
The blind you will follow
Your pride you can't swallow
Your thoughts remain hollow
As you watch this unfold
And you say my heart's cold
But you are no hero
Just another California psycho
Woke-ass bigotry
Give way to the new idiocy
No humanity
Submit to A.I. dependency
Don't force your disease on me
Go back to hugging your trees
And eating your plants and seeds
While you choke on your vanity
The blind you will follow
Your pride you can't swallow
Your thoughts remain hollow
As you watch this unfold
And you say my heart's cold
But you are no hero
Just another California psycho
You're just another
Just another psycho
You're just another
Just another psycho
Don't force your disease on me
Go back to hugging your trees
And eating your plants and seeds
While you choke on your vanity
The blind you will follow
Your pride you can't swallow
Your thoughts remain hollow
As you watch this unfold
And you say my heart's cold
But you are no hero
Just another California psycho
Just another California psycho
I can’t quite figure out how to fit everything I am into you. Fit all the time into all the rooms of all the people I have ever loved. Sometimes I wonder why it’s worth it and then I’m alone and someone is talking into my ear from 438 miles away. I can’t sleep and I can’t stay awake and I have no appetite or want for water but all I know is I have not had my daily intake of home today. The tears keep falling. Maybe I need to put down the phone before I drown you.
This city does not fit me. I drive down roads that only sometimes have a second lane. And I know I have never considered myself a city girl or a social butterfly or even needed more than a front yard but I know I need more than this. More? That might be selfish to say; there are people that would be lucky to live here. But this is so far from what I am used to, they say it is helping me grow, I am growing down into the dirt and I don’t want to be rooted here.
I don’t fit my skin. I can’t quite figure out how much I want to pour into everywhere I’ve been, when I can’t even pour into myself. I split into tiny little pieces and when I put them back together I can’t find more than half of who I was. I push months, centuries, seconds under a microscope slide and I can’t make them big enough to matter or small enough to be home soon. I can’t fit myself into somewhere I don’t know and I can’t make small enough pieces of time to fit into everywhere I want to love. I can’t fit love into time. I come home to something that’s mine but it doesn’t feel like mine. You are what’s mine. I need to come home to arms I can wrap around me. I need to come home
my father is a fortified man
with dark, verdant eyes
that shame the forest moss
that burn harsh and cold
seeing through deception
honest, stern, but fair
my mother is a gentle woman
with soft, cerulean eyes
that transcend the clearest sea
that glow bright and warm
always saying the right thing
tolerant, caring, but unwavering
and I was born with that azure gaze
though mine is not same
on half my left eye
a drop of my father's jade
and so I see the world
as an even balance
through both my parents eyes
"This is it,
the last time.
Not my last time,
for there will be many more,
but before I go,
take a second.
Or two.
As though leaving a humble abode
for the last time.
Or realistically,
one to be proud of,
one no need for humility.
A tendency to be crass,
the one-stop coffeeshop
that was the first building
foot stepped in,
the exact final destination
of a journey
across from
one Ocean to the next.
First impressions,
wild differences between
vernacular and tone,
'shaka brah',
and an immediate inquiry
as to where the hell
I come from.
Brash,
but immediately warm
the very first contact
turned out to be,
only to observe
more than a year of stumbles,
pieces scribbled,
baristas in and out,
one to be a brother
calling this location
headquarters,
locomotives blaring by
in a flash of red
everyday.
Bicentennial
the count not of years,
but of poetic conveyance,
written in the soft glow
of this shop,
this shop the subject
times so often giving
detail to who,
what, where,
and how that one girl,
that one time,
smelt as she walked by.
Edited,
the time spent
since the Spring,
but some things never change,
and that's how at home
I feel in this booth.
Bottoms up,
here's to you,
one last brew,
one last time.
No more lines
to be written
here,
skate to the next place,
though it won't be the same."
August.26.2002
Trisha M. Barrek Hopkins
After we past away
And the new life we must go on to
We'll see a darkness at first
But then our soul will be awaken
From an angel of light
It's not mistaken
But it's a gorgeous warming sight
Now it's up to God to decide
If this life was wrongfully taken
And if so It's not your time
To go on to your next mission
Because you have not yet reached your prime
Take care of your unfinished business
Then you may return
By the angels sight
Flying so high on a soft feathered wing
And by then your next life you'll have earned
Such excitement it'll bring
After the sadness has passed you
It wont take too long
You did great in your past
Now it's time to move on strong
Because you'll have those memories that last
So when you see a beam of light
That looks bright as the sun
You'll see an angel flight
Then you'll know you are the chosen one
So if all unfinished business is done
Please with gods angel don't fight
A place in the heavens you've won
An angel by light
Is the most greatest thing
This angel will take you to the greatest heights
To Gods love This angel will bring
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