PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Sometimes, I realize how different I am.

A shape that doesn't fit into any one particular place

Odd man out

When I look back on how versatile I've always been

Lots of different cliques, not a singular type of friend

Expending everything I have to be someone people want to talk to

But for what?

What am I searching for?

I can identify so many beautiful things that I have

In real life

A short few people who actually love me, for me

When I need them, they come through

In depth long conversation

Or just a simple cup of coffee because they're near

These are tried and true relationships

Sometimes I realize how different I am.

The tallest tree in the forest, towering above those who directly surround her

Or the tiniest grain of sand, undifferentiated, lost in an endless desert

So much the same, but uniquely separate in perspective

Nothing better, nothing worse

Just different...

If I had the choice to be somene else, in another place, another position

I wouldn't think twice before turning it down

I realize this isolation is an opportunity to turn myself around

I was once lost, and once again I will be found

I know I won't find myself in the struggle of another

So, I'll stop attempting to drown myself in the company of others

The silence, the absence, the willingness to be with me

The effort, The choice, The solace

It's become my sole necessity

I am what you would call a maniac,

A manic.

I am the Hyde to a Jekyll,

A creature with clawlike talons and razor sharp teeth.

But I am no monster of the deep,

I am simply an animal with desire, passion and love, forced

Through my veins by my ancestors.

I am no harmful creature,

But one that should be pitied.

My Body is wired,

Like an android I stand,

Helpless to my desires and instincts.

Society deems me a brute,

A monstrosity,

Yet the human species deems me perfect.

Live, Die, Breed

We are a natural process,

Subdued by societies concrete walls,

Imprisoned in ourselves,

Subverted to a nature that slaughters the souls of men.

Bring me my death, for life's meaning is massacred by the weight of suppression.

Everywhere I look is destruction
Everything I’ve built is ruined
It’s remains litter my past
With little hope for the future
You are my own worst enemy
It’s not the pressure of what I should be
It’s that I’m drowning in a sea of Me
I can’t believe that you’d lie to my face
But that’s your nature
You can’t help it
You’re a spawn of the Father of Deceit himself
A child of the devil
Just let me go
Die already
That I may live
And live fuller
Let go of me!
I am no longer am under your power
So why do I fall for it?
Why can’t I die that I may live?
Why can’t I kill my Self that I may survive?
That demon of ancient instinct
Who’s preyed upon my soul for so long
I know what’s right
And yet I choose wrong
Willingly
Passionately
Go to Hell Self,
Go back to where you belong
Free my soul from your clutches
That I may live eternally
For I know you
And I am my own worst enemy

Faceless fear
Brilliant Courage
My angel my innocence
My demon my instinct
The devil in my head
The angel in my heart
What is my face
Harder to find
Always fighting
Never resting
One would set me free
The other takes control of me
I want the angel
While I court the devil
Who will win my heart
Undecided
But until we have faces
We will always wear a mask

I know the temptation that sinks in that skin after I close the lights. They sit tucked into the smallest corners until it’s safe to come out again. I feel the way they rampage and the alert way they twitch. Wondering when the brightness will scourge them from the open walls again. How do you keep them from taking that semiconscious doorway for all it’s worth? Every second. Another. Hidden growl. Touch the way it drips from my own eyes. It’s not the tears or the sweat or the blood. It’s the need. Hungry and vicious. If we all keep this at bay, when it looses, when it frees, how do we freeze it? When we taste it, how do we take it back? This craving has a way to not resting. When the light will not be enough to send it hissing, what do we use to beat it down? 

Reason seems limp and lax in perspective with this raw energy. 

What keeps us human?