I am a shadow, long gone
I am forgotten, disappointments spawn
I am the weeping, in nights silent hour
From society, who savors the sour
I am the dark, stuck within my fears
I am denied, to them and all who hears
I was a dreamer, now hiding within my sleep
From the all of the promises that I can not keep
I am a shadow, long gone
I loved, and I loved you well.
Even after you challenge me hell
I remember, she parted us, you and I
She kissed your cracks, promising you lies
She left you broken, by the dead
But me, I wanted you by my side, to cherish instead
I cannot begin to fathom how I work so goddamn hard for years, scraping together every coin I can get my hands on in order to save and end up in a bottomless pit where I cannot see a light. There was once a light when I was young, but that light has gotten dimmer over the years. How can this country pride itself in being a land of dreams when I've been here for 20 years with nothing to show for it? I am having my independence slowly stripped away from me all because I follow every law, every rule, every guideline this country has put in front of my face since birth. When other countries criticize Americans, they should be criticizing the government who runs it, not the people who live in it. The people who run it no longer know what it means to live. They simply do; they do not think.
Take my hand,
And let the rain pour.
We'll just stand,
This is what we live for.
I can't imagine,
A thing out of place.
no, I can't imagine.
Any other face.
But when i wake up,
I know it was a dream.
Because you no longer
Remember me...
Everyday,
in every way,
I drown in my regrets.
No one stays,
No, i don't blame...
Even I can't forget.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, i've said that before.
I'm sorry you left me, I couldn't have you anymore.
What was I to do?
What was I to do?
Dreams
now broken
shattered into pieces
lying on the ground
crying.
(c) copyright heather burns
Gravity. By Nikki Price Sometime in 2010
Rain pours. I turn a key and the sound of the click makes me smile. Something works, but not my life. The thunderous sound of the rain on the roof drowns out the sounds of the tv and my mind drifts away. Time passes as I sit numbly, staring out into space. Perhaps I wouldn’t exist except for the heaviness in my heart that pulls my body to the ground.
A loud click rings out – a door is opening. I jump, mumble an answer. Alone again. I’m a robot. I have no control of my life. Some force pulls the puppet strings and I move, some machine feeds out my answers and forces polite smiles onto my face. No choice, no say, just oblige to the hypocrisy. Mind shifts, starting to lose focus. Moments of nothingness. My diamond ring sparkles. Some lucky woman deserves it, some lucky couple in love. Why is it on my finger?
I am glad it’s raining. Is God crying the tears my body refuses to cry? I wish I could lie down in the rain, let the torrent wash over me, either drowning me or lifting me into the sky. Is madness so bad?
Few people would miss me now. My finger lovingly traces the contours of the face of death. Promise me it won’t be painful, okay? Will God take the ache away or make me bare it for eternity? Truth is, I’m dead already, but somehow my body lives on. Like brother Scarecrow I have no heart, for I gave mine away and never got it back. Greedy man; I smile, but it doesn’t make it to my lips. Turns out it was a gift never wanted, but nevertheless “no returns”. My heart wants to believe so bad that he was kidding, of course he loves me too – secretly, bone deep. This is how I know I am mad.
Am I hungry? Not sure. Am I tired at this wee hour of the morning? I don’t know. All I can feel is the absence of you that always makes me feel tired and my heart feel heavy. You tantalize me with friendly words, but my very soul aches for so much more. I want to know you, the ever-developing person of you, but will you let me? Some cherished moments of tender connection, then so much distance I feel pushed away. You have a life, your own life. I have dreams, memories, longings that threaten to ruin my life, my robot life. If I demolished my life for the sake of being closer to you, one of two things would happen: I would feel great happiness at following my “id” despite the fact that you would probably reject me again, or I would be more scared and alone than I am now, with no one to turn to. But the manifestation of you in my mind constantly calls out to me, giving me very little peace. It teases me, bidding me to come closer, to taste, to touch. I open my eyes and you disappear. Leave me in my dreams where my affections are returned.
But robot woman has a robot husband who gave her a big, sparkly ring. People become machines when the heart is silenced, when loyalties are not questioned, when souls form deep chasms of emptiness that echoes with desperation.
Eyelids grow heavy, breathing slows, sleep comes. Dreams begin.
Dreams
once broken
shattered into pieces
lying on the ground
crying.
FRENCH
Dreams
aujourd'hul rompu
brise en morceaux
couche sur le sol
pleurere
GERMAN
Dreams
jetzi gebrochen
in stucke zerbrochen
auf dem boden liegend
zu weinen.
ITALIAN
Sogni
ora rotto
frantumata in pezi
Sdaito per terra
piangere.
SPANISH
Suerno
roto
roto en pedazos
tendido en el suelo
llorara
(c) copyright heather burns
Dreams
jetzi gebrochen
in stucke zerbrochen
auf dem boden liegend
zu weinen.
(c) copyright heather burns