crying

Empty

The empty space is what fills the hole inside my heart. Funny how others success brings me down to a beaten level where I wander forever aimlessly on the paths inside my brain. I doubt everything I’ve ever done and everything I do because what am I worth, what am I even needed for if I can’t even tell the success story of any of those who matter.


I’ve become a dementor of sorts, but rather than suck the positivity out of them, I wrap my mouth around my heart as it weeps the blood that once motivated. I viciously suck it out with every gasping breath. I don’t want to live a life of being told by others what someone I love has done. Don’t think I want pity for knowing there is not even presence in my absence. If the one who succeeds understands my helpless cries of devotion, then they alone should know each song that will need to be whispered in my ear to stop making me feel like the empty bottles in the road that get run over and burst, eventually flattened into useless trash.


I had a dream last night
That I needed you
As I do every day
Funny thing is
That this time
You tried to pull away. 

Forsaking

Folder: 
Songs

Been gone too long
Can’t let you in
Won’t let you see all the darkness within
Live in my dreams
So close to me
But now I see how things have to be

 

Deep in my head
My spirit’s dead
I just can’t live past my apathy
My fire’s out
Clouded with doubt
Now I see how things will have to be

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

 

The light once mine
So long has been dying
Under the demon I once called Myself
It’s time to stand
Come take my hand
Won’t have to leave this for someone else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

 

I choose life
I choose love
I choose God
Above all else

Forsaken

Here’s a new life I’m making
So tired of bleeding and crying
Soon you’ll be there dying not me
Now I am driven
I’m finally living
Please take my soul
Lord, please take control of me

Forsaking
Forsaking

Thank God I Am Of The Few

Folder: 
Light and Dark

As I sit, and I pray
I watch the sun bring a new day
I grieve for those so far lost
In their ways; high is the cost
Would it not be better, can they not see
The love Almighty God has given to me?
But the way is narrow to his place
And as I look into His face
I see the sorrow, His crying there
For His children who no longer care
I left you Lord! I spat in your face
I followed evil, my disgrace
It was not placed on me, my decision
Had set me up for Hell's derision
Then you took my place, your first born
The sun rose on my new morn
Now here am I, white and new
Living here, with your few
But I still grieve for those lost
For their decisions have such a cost
Eternal death away from you
Thank God that I am of your few.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Originally a reply to Envy from her poem Please; I kind of liked it myself. Enjoy

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Just To See You Smile

Folder: 
My Love

You’ll never know what it means to me
I would give the world for it
I would do anything for you
I would go anywhere
And it seems like such a small thing
But I know that sometimes it’s just so hard
You cry on the inside
But that’s what makes it so pretty
The flower in the rain
The beauty in your suffering
And I would do anything
Just to see you smile

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Tears of Pain

Tears Of Pain

Tears that I can't explain.
Tears that drive me insane.
Tears that burn my cheeks.
Tears that makes me weak.
I don't know how to express my feelings,
Or the truth about their true meaning.
Tears of pain.
Each tear has its own tale.
With each tear that I cry I feel as though I have failed.
Failed in life with the things that I can not change.
I know I shouldn't be here and to me this is all strange.
Tears of pain that falls from my face.
Unbearable memories of love and hurt that I can't erase.
Hurt that I caused to the ones I love.
Precious memories of how my sisters used to run to me to give me kisses and hugs.
Tears of pain that causes my heart to feel so down and low.
Tears of pain that I can't ever let go,
as each one falls to my pillow.
I could see the pain in their eyes.
I remember how no one wanted to compremise.
I remember how I felt when I couldn't help them no matter how much they begged and plead.
The way I felt as I heard myself scream deep inside of me.
Watching them drive away with my two little sisters locked inside while the desperately and franticly tried to get out, then turned around,
crying and trying to reach through the back window with tears of pain streaming down.
Tears of pain.
Tears that no one can wipe away.
Tears that grow in its pain each and every day.
These fears I have of starting a new family.
Fears that prevent me from becoming the person who I want to be.
Tears of pain.
So much love I have inside,
but I have so much hurt that I try to hide.
Tears of pain that makes me keep my distance.
Tears of pain that flow because I can no longer resist it.
Tears of pain I'll never let go.
Tears of pain that kills my soul.

By: Twylla Medina

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What Can I Say?

Folder: 
My Love

What can I say to her?
How do I explain?
This feeling I equate with love inside
So strong it causes pain?

Pain to see her fall all day
Pain to see her cry
Pain to know she walks the road
Which leads people to die?

Pain to know she can do better
Pain to dry her tears
Pain to fortify her soul
For countless, endless years?

Pain, I wish I could help
Pain, I want to kill your fears
Pain, I want the best for you
To turn sorrow into cheers.

But what can I say to her?
How do I explain?
This feeling I equate with love inside
So strong it causes pain?

How do I make her feel?
How to save her from herself?
I try but she’s not listening
So I continue to give myself.

Yet what can I say to her?
How can I explain?
This feeling, I know it’s love inside
So strong it causes pain?

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Here Comes The Rain

Folder: 
Songs

You made my day as black as night
My life feels loss of meaning.
You’ve turned dark what once was bright
How can you know what I’m feeling?

Did you know that once you filled my life
Your loss would be unreal?
I could’ve avoided the pain and strife
If you had told me how you feel.

 

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

 

Why did you say that I am not enough?
Why pierce me to the soul?
Because now, like the winter wind outside
My heart’s become so cold.

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

 

Here comes the rain
I’m crying in pain
Sighing with the wind
Swaying in the trees
Here comes the rain
I’m carrying the pain
I’m falling to my knees-
Here comes the rain.

A silent kind of crying

Bitter taste
In my mouth,
A knot in my Stomach
And throat
Sitting in my room
Alone.
I keep my breathing even,
And I don't make a sound,
Yet no matter how hard I try
The tears keep coming down.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comments and thoughts appreciated.

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Black tears and glitter

Folder: 
Mom & "Dad"

Black tears and glitter
falling from my face like rain
each one a past pain i refuse to state
i don't want to be afraid
looks in the mirror
this isn't the girl i know
hiding her face from the world
pretending she's on her own!

each on thats falling
are all of your wrongings
and she crumbles tot he ground
now she's lost in the dark
and she's falling apart
while she cries herself to sleep tonight

Black tears and glitter
are dropping on the ground, just flowing
tries to be comforted
but finds it just doesn't work out
i don't want to be afraid
looks in the mirror
this isn't the girl she knows
trying to fight on her own
always wants to be alone!

each one that's falling
are all of your wrongings
and she screams at the top of her lungs
now she's never relaxing
and never laid back
and she cries herself to sleep tonight.

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