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*End Of Time*

 

 November.30.2000

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

It's almost here

End of time

A drop of a tear

A drop of a dime 

The sudden fear

Of losing your mind

Knowing the light is near

It's nothing from man kind

 

All you know

That's the direction you stear

The pain you have you try to show

But no one is taking notice

Not even trying to care

They would be happy to see you go

It's not really fair

 

The hate from people you know

Yep it's almost the end of the line

We're either God or the devil

Who takes your soul

And people always thought you were fine 

They didn't look deep enough

But yet it is your most challening goal

You even thought you were tough

You haven't figured out yet

But it all changed when you two met

 

For God to take away

From his horrible sight

You don't want to take another day

You don't want to take on your tears

You don't want to fight 

Or face your fears

But in all of this 

When someone asks what's wrong

The answers are at miss

And you have nothing to say

You have no reason to live 

You realize you're not strong

 

You don't want any more tasks

To try to take on all by yourself

You need someone to help you

The end of time is near

Someone you need

One that will stick by your side

A love to feed

Someone that's true

Someone who won't hide 

 

Their feelings

Their happiness

Their meaning of life

Their heart

Their love

You need it all

To pick you up when you fall apart

To tell you you're elegant

And beautiful as before 

As pure as a dove 

 

Please wipe the sadness

That lurks in your eyes

You don't want that anymore

The madness

That stops you from having blue skies

You try your hardest to ignore

But that in a million years

Will never happen your soul begins to die 

By the end of time 

 

I will be weak

To have any love to send

Or any power to seek

The power to mend

That special love

That special friend

My luck has run out 

Because I never had none

I feel so trapped 

To scream too much it hurts like a ton

IT's so disturbing I can't even dream

I've tried so hard but they have won

 

I've given up and tried to stick with it 

But only for awhile

That never lasts

It goes out of style

And once again

I relive my past

When will it all end

 

My heartaches

Tears that run like a river 

This pain never gives me a break

How do I survive

I then get sick and start to shiver

And this depression is so thick

I no longer feel alive

 

The end of time is so close to me 

I'm dying inside

I just want to be free

I no longer want to hide

 

Copyright

*Once Again I'm In A Losing Battle*

 

 October.20.2003

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

Once again I'm in a losing battle

Lost with no place to hide

As I walk I feel my bones rattle

Once again my heart has died

These thoughts to stop I've tried

 

Day and night I just go on crying

I have no more strength

Just let me go on dying

Once again to myself I fight

To myself I keep lying

This battle of mine is so long in length

 

Truth is no one is out there 

Who will for me go that extra mile

No one for me to care

I just want this frown to go away

So I can smile 

But nothing nice people can say

 

To show I mean something

To let me know they hear

But It's just games they play

Being alone is my biggest fear

Hurt is what I feel everyday

 

God is so unfair

What is left is hatered

To my heart you bring

A lasting tear

 

No one with me 

Wants to forever be by my side

No one wants to stay

When they see me they turn around to hide

With me they don't want to be 

 

I must remain alone

Till my dying day

And my heart

It turned back to stone

No more do I care

What people have to say

Because getting close to me will anyone dare

 

Copyright

 

This Old House

This old house is alone

Dark and damp

Where there used to be sunshine

Now is gloom

 

There are a lot of rooms

Plenty of places to hide

But you hear nor see any children

Just the quiet

 

The walls whisper

In the deep night

Mirrors watch you

Everywhere you go

 

There used to be laughter

Now only tears

Someone died

Deep inside

 

This old house

Has been through storms

Hail and snow

Thunder and lightning

 

Yet came out strong

Has many memories

Of past and future

Just another home

 

Open the window

Let out the dust

Mop the floors

Let them shine

 

The spider on the wall

Has been here too long

A beautiful web

She has weaved

 

But this old house

Needs to let her go

It needs lots of work

People to come and go

 

 

 

 

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Hide

I think it might be easier to hide

This solitude is kinder than reality

Nothing to disappoint

To destroy the should

Only your own mind and the simple pleasures it enjoys

Why must life be such a cruel mistress?

 

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To Whom It Concerns

Folder: 
My Love

I know your fears
Your tears
When you think no-one’s around
And break down under the façade
The mask you use to hide yourself
I am there, my hand outstretched
But you do not see it
You cannot see it
Do you not know
The walls you’ve built are a one way mirror?
I can see in, but you cannot see a way out
The gates you built to protect you are enclosing around you
Can’t you feel their pressure?
Can’t you hear my voice?

I see the past pain
Engraved by your own hands
On your arms and legs
I see the fear you have
That someone can look past your shadows
And see you
A little girl with tears in her eyes
Trying desperately to be brave

I can see you

And all this time, you thought it infatuation perhaps?
Why I stay around
Why I care
Why I’m always there
Why I support you
Why I pray for you
It’s not a passing craze on my part
It’s love
And because of that, I want to see you reach for the stars
To become better than you are now
To heal the scars that just won’t go away
To find the strength to fight another day
I don’t care if you love me back
I don’t care if you feel indebted
Forget it
Because this isn’t about me
I live through you
Can’t you feel it?

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Twilight

Fading into the twilight,
Yet, never able to hide.
Running has fast has you can, yet never able to escape.
It is our existence, it is our demise.
It is mortal, but it will never die.
It brings happiness and it brings sadness.
It has many paths, yet they all lead to the same place.
Every path is an experience and every experience is a lesson.
To live this is the only goal, to survive is aftermath.
“To live is to suffer, but to survive; well that’s to find the meaning in the suffering”.

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Windcheater

Folder: 
Angostura

Once upon a time-
There was a good man.
He did a very good job.
Living in a very good land-

He married a good woman.
Had very good children
Prayed to a very good God
Living, a very good life-

Though from kith kin he had run.
He housed perfect in a perfect good garden.
Trained, made a perfect good husband.
No other, than by the ex-lady a perfect woman.

The man was so good.
He could do everything thus very good.
Hide secrets under his skin tell no truth.
Backstab from behind, very well and good.

Diva drivel drives.
What a way to end. Oh! Please
Excuse and not execute for good. O!
Impervious Mr Jack all hide under hyde.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

All about good men...

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