The memories from with-in!

 The memories from with-in         

somedays the memories surface and i cant get them out of my head
and when i lay down at night to sleep its the morning that i dread
because when i wake up in the morning i think that i can not win
those memories i hold inside  me are my memories from with-in
one day is good the other is not and it sometimes gets me down
sometimes it feels like a losing battle and it feels like i will drown
but i think of where i was back then and i break out in a grin
i think of all the blessings ive had from the memories from with-in
like the day my kids were born will live on in me never to depart
but sometimes those nasty memories surface and are tearing me apart
when that occur's think of all the good things there has ever been
only then will you have peace of mind with the memories from with-in



Author's Notes/Comments: 

wrote this one i think because i needed to hear it hope you all like it


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It's Always Been You

It's you

It's always been you

Stealing my dreams

Keeping me from sleep

Late at night when I am in bed

You are always in my head

Telling me I cannot do anything

Then asking me why I'm so lazy

You reach your arms out

As if to embrace me

Just to shove me down again 

"Go back to sleep"

Curling up by my side

Fingers tangled in my hair

Whispering softly in my ear

"You should just die"

Tears trickle down my face

"Don't be a victim" you say

Your fingers tighen their grip

Digging your fingers in 

You pull me up onto my feet

I'm hanging by the strands of my hair

Tossing me across the room

You spit venom into my face once more

"What are you even fighting for"?

Shaking, I struggle to stand 

Your face turns into a crooked glare

My gaze shifts slightly towards the door

Laughing hysterically you begin to mock

"You really want to go out there"?

"You cannot run from ME"

"Wherever you go that is where I will be"

"So leave then, if you think you can handle it"

"Go on, go pretend that you matter"

My knees collapse as I crumple onto the floor

Hands on my face I begin to scream

You soften your tone and lean in close

"There there child it's okay" 

"It's time you listen to what I've said"

"Those people out there are better off with you gone"

"How could they possibly love YOU after all"?

My lips tremble as I look into your eyes

I know that you are right

A smile creeps onto your face

Arms open wide again

I lean my head against your chest

As you dig your fingers into that place on my head

"You know what needs to be done"

I begin to protest but can only shake

Chuckling softly you tighten your grip

"You're much too weak but its okay"

"For now just go back to bed"

The tears fall until I'm overcome by sleep


It's you

It's always been you

Every day I wake up 

And every day you are there

I push and pull away from your grasp

But you only tighten your hands


I must continue to fight

To push forward 

To move

No matter how deep your claws dig in

I'll continue to rip them from my skin


















Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's been a very long time since I have written a poem, so forgive me I know it's nothing special. I want to get back into writing again and the only way to do that is to start. 

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My battle

I fight a battle everyday
From morning to night 
Awake or asleep

What is my battle?
My battle is...

Not to pick up that razor blade 
To not picking up a belt
Or some rope
To avoid high places 

I've been fighting for a very long time
Many times the fight was almost lost 
But I'm still here
Still fighting.

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Battle of the Minds

The battle of the minds,

Led to the agonising separation,

As if someone hit with an axe,

Dividing our cohesive souls into two!


It was not as the Kurukshetra War,

Of the Mahabharata!

I won or you, I do not even care!

Perhaps both of us lost and suffered stigmata!


It was not the scuffle of the hearts,


But it did cut the hearts into several parts! 

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The dream

Always the same dream 

A sun covered in blood 

Over a field of grey

Lifeless thousands 

Innocents where Death took them

Now waiting for judgement

Waiting to judge

Blackness with a red star

Shining down on the aftermath 

Death has a large appetite 

Its jaws bite down on all

Gnawing on their inanimate bodies

The dying are crying out against it

But their life is but a candle in a breeze

Soon to extinguish

They were but innocents 

Caught in the crossfire

But not I

Too long have I fought this war

Come Hades, come quickly old friend

My time is near 

And I am tired

Take me

Depression's Defeat

Soul Poetry


Its such a deep, murky pit,

that drags you on under,

From the sobbed teary rains,

and your own personal thunder.


I cling desperate, to the walls,

in my life's effort to get out

Fingernails digging in,

I climb the only known route.


Escape is most essential,

for this aching, inner struggle,

As both the depression,

and the sanity, I juggle.


Brought about by pains,

of both my body and mind-

Some the result of abuses,

others have mentally assigned.


But never will I break,

and never fully, will I fall.

As always before, I'll come back,

-much stronger then them all.


For up at the perimeter's lip,

God's Hand extends outward, to me.

And His Amzing Grace, like always,

Lifts me up...and sets me free.


*Once Again I'm In A Losing Battle*



 Trisha Barrek Hopkins


Once again I'm in a losing battle

Lost with no place to hide

As I walk I feel my bones rattle

Once again my heart has died

These thoughts to stop I've tried


Day and night I just go on crying

I have no more strength

Just let me go on dying

Once again to myself I fight

To myself I keep lying

This battle of mine is so long in length


Truth is no one is out there 

Who will for me go that extra mile

No one for me to care

I just want this frown to go away

So I can smile 

But nothing nice people can say


To show I mean something

To let me know they hear

But It's just games they play

Being alone is my biggest fear

Hurt is what I feel everyday


God is so unfair

What is left is hatered

To my heart you bring

A lasting tear


No one with me 

Wants to forever be by my side

No one wants to stay

When they see me they turn around to hide

With me they don't want to be 


I must remain alone

Till my dying day

And my heart

It turned back to stone

No more do I care

What people have to say

Because getting close to me will anyone dare





Perverse & Bazaar
My poetical rhetoric is 
like a metaphorical etiquette..
My common wealth 
is like Edison, 
with rhymes cut thick
just like beef Wellington.

A skeleton? 
Looks like I'm under your skin.
but I'm laughin, not half assin'
sassin' back with grin.
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Batonette's Dragon

Everything was black and white,

And shades of grey.

All forms faded away.

It was impossible to see.

Batonettes was lost in this striped fog.

She felt movement.

There was a Dragon!

Right upon her!

Its scales blended perfectly with the fog.

It was right upon her.

She braced herself.

Threw a punch,

Right where she felt its breath.

She felt her hand hit solid.

A loud thud came in front of her.

Her hand was throbbing.

She was sure she broke something. 

She hoped the Dragon was broken too.


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