depressed

One day

This is how the story goes.

A lonely boy, trapped in his self-consciousness, aggravated by others

Meets a girl, a girl trapped in her self-consciousness, their minds connect at once

They go through the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly

They go behind authority just to see each other's faces

To keep that horror of self-consciousness away

But one day, that girl goes too far

One day she thinks she can have it all

One day she doesn't tell him about her feelings for him

And that's when the story truly begins   

 

The boy and girl talk, they work it out, they think it'll all be fine

He starts to notice her changing, changing in ways he thought he'd never see

He thinks its just a phase

He thinks "everyone goes through these phases, she's just going through one"

 

She doesn't stop.

 

He starts to adapt to her, starts to forget how she used to be

Starts to forget the girl that he fell for in the beginning of the story

Starts to pay the price

 

"Every relationship has their ups and downs"

Yes but that relationship wasn't a rollercoaster

It was a free fall, a free fall that doesn't stop when it hits the ground

But somehow goes further and further down into the dark abyss of the unknown world

The boy, that stupid naive boy is blinded, scared that everything will come back

But he doesn't think that he wants everything to come back

He doesn't think that that self-consciousness is worse now then it ever was

When did he hear those words that would light his face up

When did she give him everything he wanted

When did she give him everything he needed

 

One day reality comes in

The day that has been needing to come, but has been dreaded

That girl does it for the last time

That boy still hiding behind his fears of being alone

 

It ends

It ends for them but not for him

She goes off to accomplish new things and to create this very story for more people

He doesn't go off, he falls back into darkness of his own demons

Getting pulled further and further back every time a glimpse of hope enters that dull head

Not knowing where he is headed

He tries fighting for his freedom

Tries to run back towards the light

But what he doesn't know is he's running backwards

The light is out of reach from him

Burying himself deeper in the ashes of his life's destruction

He fights, he wants to be a phoenix but instead he's a deer in headlights

Not knowing where he's going

Not knowing where he needs to go

Instead of finding all that out he sits and lets everything take control of his body

But what he needs to be doing is standing up for himself

He needs to crawl out of the darkness to be exposed to the beauty of the world

He pushes the demons away

Pushing them further and further

Pulling him closer and closer

He reaches it

He sees it

He believes it

 

And the story end

The story ends for that little self-conscious boy

But another story begins for a man that has seen everything

A new beginning

A good beginning.

 

View jakecewells's Full Portfolio

Happiness Prohibition

Ambushed by my own mind today

Karma confines me hell to pay

Poetry is my only remedy

Save me God from this intellectual death penalty

 

How did I ever land in this situation?

All I want is some sort of salvation

A hopeless condition, negativity repetition

I call it happiness prohibition

 

So tell me when you wanna go

To the sunny days, all I see is snow

The days are cold, I need a breakthrough

I need out of the blue

 

Experience is my teacher, no rest for the weary

It’s been too long, a smile feels eerie

They tell me have faith, storms don’t last forever

 

Hope it comes soon, I’m sick of this endeavor, my negatives thoughts are o so clever 

View kbretsch's Full Portfolio

Penny Panhandler

i'm carrying this penny I found on the ground 

around in my pocket because it's bound

to give me luck, or at least some hope

that if I run into a problem, I'll be able to cope

cause lately I've been feeling down

it's just the same old people in this same little town

I need to runaway, or at least have some change

and a penny's a good start to my panhandling stage.

Underwater Trying Not To Drown

Sorrow filling my lungs

Choking on the tears

Crushing my heart

But I’ve never felt so alive

Underwater Trying Not To Drown

Cinders to ash, ash to smoke

My soul caught on the breeze

And left this empty corpse behind

Far behind and not looking back

 

Why can’t we go back to who we once were?

All Hope Is Lost

All hope is lost

Gone forever and a day

There is nothing to be said now

There is nothing left to say

 

All hope is lost

Buried beneath a grave

All is dead and gone now

There is no one here to save

 

All hope is lost...

Washable Ink.

I'll write your name upon this paper

next to mine in a heart

with forever as a waver

till death do us part

 

Mrs. Insert your name here

that's the way it should've been

your name, now a puddle from tears

written with the ink of a washable pen

 

what happened to the fairy tale

I never did believe

until the day I looked in your blue eyes

and saw what could be

now my dream is just a dream

that will never come true

because a fairy tale won't happen

if there is no you

 

now I spend my nights alone

wishing I was her

and all day I stare at my phone

hoping to see your number

 

that new girl, she's the lucky one

I hope she knows what she has

because for you, I'd give the sun

for one more night in your hands


abortive abyss giveaway

touching the outer layer lightly

bits and pieces flaked off 

to reveal the depth of charred remains

 

the hope of finding healthy tissue

was like hoping to gather leaves in a windstorm

a hollow shell, the final prize 

 

a figment of an imagined existence

cloaked in pallid-colored dreams

passed down through bargain basement ideals

 

whispers to ears void of tempered knowledge

and bright-eyed for a path leading towards a fool's gold

whose story continues to be told

 

lush feilds of blossoming trees and flowers

flourish within sight, but awareness has been retarded

for the sake of finding buried treasures, and mind follows

 

 

4:22 AM 7/7/2013 ©

 

..............

My Inner Demons Are Winning

Folder: 
Depressed.

My life used to be

one giant hulking mess.

and me a weak sodden soul,

padded with distress.

I tried to fight against it

but it kept dragging me down.

Smothering me in regrets

and causing me to drown.

I often sleep for hours

with no desire to wake.

And let the depression take me down

though I know it is a mistake.

SO I begin to look for vices

to let my frustrations out.

Not thinking that I need anyone

to talk to this about.

So instead I grabbed some liqour

enough to put me to sleep

Or drink a drop of cold medicine.

to knock me off my feet.

And sometimes I'd get this feeling

of immense pain in my head.

And take two advils,

then to the world I was dead.

I'd let my demons drag me down,

and tell me it was okay.

That no one cared and I was worthless

and I'd believe what they'd say.

So I'd drink more of stolen liqour

and do what I knew was wrong.

But the allure of my demons was enticing

for they sung a hypnotic song.

So I kept letting them drag me down

and I never expected to get back up.

Just kept giving them my tears

to fill their never ending cup.

I sometimes chose to fight against them

thinking I don't want to let them in.

And then life takes a downwards turn

and I give in to them again.

And though this may be a time, when

 their power over me, is slowly but surely thinning.

Sometimes I can't help but feel,

my inner demons are winning.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Words are red because its painful to admit something is wrong but sometimes its necessary to get rid of some of this darkness.

View dreamingnightmares's Full Portfolio

Romatic Tragedy

Gone as fast you came, good riddance right?
What's the point of staying here, 
being here just brings me down. 
Often leaving with out hesitation
Bring all the heat but all you do is smash patience.
Nothing left here but broken hearts and faded out faces. 
Scratching a canvas full of old Images.
We've been here more than once.
Like a tourist destination.
I'd like to escape, sign my resignation
Moving on forward but end up taking two steps back.
Losing my mind here as I keep getting attatched
Sever the bonds and break lose of these chains
Cause once i'm set free
I'll feel happy and free and with out worry
Of having to please you again..
Goodbye

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hope you can relate...

View beastkitten's Full Portfolio