depressed

Shattered Hearts and broken Dreams

Time has passed on by beyond anyone's control.
The feelings i've felt before enriched my soul.
The boundry-less emotions were overwhelming
Yet no one could say it wasn't a real feeling.
I live today not knowing what coulv've come next, in my heart follows a tinge of reget
A day without knowing what might come next.
Lack of affection, restless nights
What have we become? From what we originated from...

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Far away

You shouldn't expect a postcard, don't expect a letter, even a simple text is too much to ask for.
The place I'm at right now is cold. Freezing in fact.
It's a bottomless pitt of self-defiance, pity and regret tied up in a box made up of tears and sealed off with a black bow. This bow is unlike any other, it's darker than any other. Look at it carefully, it has this amazing shade of black, carrying dark thoughts and slit throats. 
My question is, "can I give it away?"

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I write my poems based off of my own emotions in the moment! All of this directly relates to my life or the life of someone I know

When Life Gives You Lemons

When life gives you lemons, 
you'll pucker at first; 

but after a while, 

you'll become immune to the flavor. 
 

Who knows,

you may even acquire a taste for them.  

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The Invisibles

I am the one you see in the hallway and bump into.

I am the one who sits alone at lunch.

I am the one with the voice no one expected.

I am the one with all the answers.

I am the one who knows nothing at all.

I am the one you stare at in the hall.

I am the one who wears what you wouldn't.

I am the one you wouldn't dare talk to.

I am the one you wouldn't even glance twice at.

I am you're best friend.

I am you're worst enemy.

I am the one good at computers.

I am the one telling you not to fear the unknown.

Because,

I am the one who is unknown to you...

And if you are to afraid to reach out....

just like that *snaps* 

I am the one who is gone for good.

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Starving for closure, choked by the rope of regret

 

laying drenched in hopeless tears, & fear is a blanket over us.

I feel like there is a rope around my stomach,

wrapping around my esophagus,

all the way up into my throat..

it tightens without warning.

 

sometimes I can't remember who I am..

spitting up blood. can't stand...

on my knees, looking up to you.. 

why did you turn & walk away..?

guess I wasn't thinking ahead far enough..

lost love, tough luck.

 

if I had a cut for each time I regret not giving more then I felt I could..

these sheets would be completely stained red.. 

but I guess we all screwed up.

over time, i'll be able to cut the line... 

i'll be able to tie together the ends of these loose knots..

closure will come to me, whether awake or asleep.. 

it will crawl down my throat, & rip out that fucking rope!

 

no more blood, just bile..

the impurities enter & leave as I encounter endless trials..

vortex of hesitation, it never pulls you in, but continues to drain you of all it can..

spinning around in the middle of no where,

no gravity, no constriction..

maybe this is why i'm choking & crying out for oxygen..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.21.13

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Spiral to the moon

the eyes are so beautiful... 

people abuse their lips too often.. 

ugly words.. distraught faces.

passing through dark voids.. 

black spaces.. 

footprints in cement..

writing in sand.. 

 

mistakes made, but by the time I realize..

it always seems just too late.

maybe we don't deserve a second chance..

sometimes I feel like that's all I need.

guess i'll have to deal.

 

in my mind, i've kneeled to you & cried.

in this heart, my yearning towards you will not subside so easily.

my soul is screaming..

there's a spirit looking down..

such disappointment,

destroying me.

 

false reality you try & pull her into..

worn limbs, shattered smiles, heavy eyes.

the pain is swelling..

so fake, you keep on, like a robot, with no cause...

fuck these man-made laws.

I don't need your restriction to enjoy myself.

these rules crash down, fallen stones on the ground..

 

I will blow away with the leaves, for I am not stablized as the trees.

some night, near or distant, I will fly up & greet the moon..

when I get there, i'll ask, "is it still too soon...?"

Eyes of serpentine

the grip of each day grow's tighter... my head keeps feeling lighter..
my heart is falling too heavy to bare.. my throat is clenching..
i'm sorry.. I think I need air... why did you ever bother to care...? 
intoxicated by your gaze.. I don't regret not keeping our distance...
but I didn't know how much I would miss the way your eyes looked, subtle & penetrating, before we'd kiss..
I could sit with you for hours..
watching your hand rolled cigarette burn..
smoke elevates to the corners of your ceiling..
no longer am I granted with such a simply wonderful feeling.
 
I don't need you anymore!
.. but i'll always be there, to care.. even if you think i'm not.. 
no matter how far out I could be.. doesn't matter who you're with.. 
my love isn't blind.. so don't think I can't see..
the distance between us now means nothing to me.

Prologue

I'm praying this rain from the sky fades away

your cheeks are tear stained as the night turns to grey

wishing on stars that light up the sky

you hide your feelings away and wonder why

no one understands how you feel

are these thoughts make believe or are they real

beneath the water is where you lie

dreaming of tomorrow with bloodshot eyes 

the wind dances through trees once standing so tall

the wind dances through trees as you begin to fall

into the silence where no one hears you scream

into the water where no one sees you dream. 

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Deceit

 
 
I thought I at least had her in this forsaken ghetto
Turns out she's been going out with my friend cuz I found a condom below her stilettos
What did I do to deserve this?
I thought our love was a bliss
Now I know she never meant not one kiss
On our past photos I fkn piss
All the wasted time on this bitch
I want to burn on her on a stake like a witch
 I'm tossing and turning in my bed
Repressed memories unleashed in my head
The only thing that can fix this is loaded 40 against my head 
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