depressed

lonely

sitting here by myself dont know where to look

sitting here wondering thoughts,no attention to read a book

 

sitting watch 4 walls closing in

wondering if i fall and bin

 

life passes me by 

as i sit here and slowly die

 

wondering if love will come again

been 3 years and still nothing

 

the only one who keeps me going is my son

who loves his life and cherishes every moment

 

alone with no companion

with no 

no

sight

of what

will

happen.

to 

my 

life

Author's Notes/Comments: 

i missed be in a relationship , i am lonely.

I am

I am the emptiness that fills your soul.
I am the one that creates a void, that hole.
I am the dread that never sleeps
I am the one who dehumanises you, so that you will never weep.
I am the one who brings no joy.
I am the one who plays with your emotions, you are my toy.
I am the one who will always bring you down.
I am the one who makes you feel like a clown.
I am Depressed, that is my name.
I am a figment of your imagination and you are my game!

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Depressed

There is something crucial I feel I should mention,
amidst all of this newfound attention.
This truly is a miracle for me.
I'm not being satirical, an honest decree.
For a time now I've been feeling depressed,
This point I believe I've already professed.
Despite the test and rhyming jest,
I must attest, defeated and stressed.

I'm overwhelmed and in pain with the daily mundane.
I strain to explain, yet detain my disdain.
They succeed to impede my right to be freed.
I plead and agreed to concede to their greed.

Trapped, alone, overpowered with despair,
Strapped, overthrown, a coward unaware.

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There Is A Girl

There is a girl with cuts on her wrist,
with dying at the top of her list.
She closes her eyes and counts to ten,
she's ready to try this all again.
She grips the blade a little tighter,
tried so hard to be a fighter.
The world she knows starts to fade away,
she's happy she doesn't have to stay.
Slowly everything fades to black,
a smile on her face because she knows she's not coming back.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Comment with any constructive criticism or ideas for other poems :)
This poem is dedicated to my best friend/sister who tried to kill herself twice yet is still here. Love you forever and after! <3

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Insecurities

my insecurities are stalking me.
you're steeped in sickness but i fret over your unresponsiveness.
i feel like i need you more then you need me.
the voices of discontent grow louder in my head.
i want to believe your reasons are legitimate,
but the lies of past lover's leave me unconvinced.

i pick apart our time spent.
is there a deception i have missed tucked away among your perfect words?
a riddle or mystery waiting to be solved has emerged.
this has been an amazing journey,
but my daddy's words echo, "if it's too good to be true,
then he's probably lying to you"

my flaws are becoming prominent.
your concern for your own contentment grows.
you have your life all planned out and i'm not in it.
i'm a wildcard that only cast doubts.
you reassure me it'll be okay.
you tell me i have nothing to worry about
then why am i worried?

my feet cast shadows on the wall.
i watch my fears come out to play.
i don't know how to turn these lemons into lemonade.
i don't have the nerve to complain.
you explained yourself just yesterday,
but i'm still confused!

the pressure to be who you want gets to me.
i want to be who you think i am.
i hide the bitter, fearful, depressed parts of me.
i struggle every day to be half of who i am.
i don't want to ruin the illusions you have.
you are what i see i wish i could be more like you.

my insecurities are ready to overtake me.
just beyond my reach is sanity.
i must resist the urge to flip my lid.
there's questions i have that are unreasonable.
i keep waiting for my fears to fade, but know i now they are my friends.
this is how i protect my heart.
i freak out then fall apart!

Pity

Folder: 
Light and Dark

Pity the man, who sears his conscience,
He who loses sense of right,
They that plot another’s destruction,
There is no rest for the wicked.

Justice to the man, who kills his neighbor,
Judgment of God will fall on his head,
Pity to those whose light is darkness,
There is no rest for the wicked.

Pray for the man, whose way is lost,
Speak to those who don’t know right,
Seize the day, send them rest,
For there is no rest for the wicked.

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Sad

I sat there crying,
Tears pouring from my eyes,
Thinking of everything that means so much.
Wondering of how life twists and turns,
And when I needed you the most I was alone suffering.
Its not like you intentionally abandoned me,
Just the way things turned out to be.
Maybe for better or the worse,
Wishing desperately the two would mend.
A complete understanding of what is to come,
To anticipate my future tactfully.
Scared is not the word I prefer,
I really haven't the clue to describe what to say.
What jerks the tears out my head the most,
Is the thought of returning and what I love is a ghost.
A home to my memories,
Oh I can't bear the thought,
But I do and that's what rips me apart.
The realization then struck,
Sadness is the best way to achieve true happiness.
Knowing what its like to not have the ones you love,
Teaches the ultimate appreciation.
By this I wanted you to hear,
Every day will be cherished when I return,
Treating you honorably as you deserve.
I'll always be there,
No matter the odds,
At your side or forever in your heart.
My love to you.

When Roses Grow Thorns

Above the rest you grow
beautiful you must know

mature and compose
as time goes some doze
but never does my nose
my sweet smelling rose

i promised to be gentle

i stuck to my decree
as thorns grew through thee
thorns sticking onto me
i came to see it was not me....

but of cold and sleet
simply had you beat

Author's Notes/Comments: 

my first and favorite poem. written in a sloppy iambic pentameter . I wrote this one about a girl who turned on me.

Ehhh

I feel the pain deep in side it eats at me until I cry I lay in bed and wonder why you took my heart then said good bye now I sit in the dark with this open wound wishing that it will all end soon

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I like a girl it's not really working out so I wrote this

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