broken

Drifting Along

Folder: 
Heart of Love

I left home one summer
Carring my weakness in my hands,
My feet grew fond of every journey,
As i held my face high above the sea i faced nothing but sorrow,
From that day my future slipped away,
I ploughed my tears in every piece of land,
For that i traded my death for another day,
For one could taste for one could never want onother,
But beneath my luck nothing was a success,
No rain felled and all my seeds were ripped from the ground,
A promiscuous soul lay low from the ground and death blooms from its blood.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

An empty heart reveals nothing but sorrow.

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tags:

Distance

Folder: 
To My Wife

I would say I miss you

But you no longer care

You left long before your body

And left me alone with yourself

 

I'm always thinking of you

Everyone says you aren't worth it

Maybe they're right...

But I thought you were

 

I wish we could be “us” again

But do I truly miss you

Or simply the relationship we had?

I guess I'll never know

 

You've kept me at a distance

So far I'd never reach you

Now I suppose I've finally decided

To stop trying

Unrequited Puzzle Pieces

She bottled the impossible

With silent gestures she kept audible

While constantly perfecting improbable obstacles

She was always steady and volatile

Keeping reality optional

She moved in a way that was almost comical

Methodical in how she kept  herself intentionally watchable

She was an angel draped over something diabolical

 

But you see,

Her love, it was kind of clumsy

So before she could even share something

Her heart, it was already crumbling

But some how lucky

When most just stared dumbly

As people asked what could be done in tones quickly hushing

And were answered with nothing

She licked her lips and they tasted of honey

Then she knelt in a sunbeam and she began softly humming

As she put back together Humpty Dumpty

 

She was meticulous and neat

And she memorized each shattered piece

Right there in the street

She stayed on her knees like a priest

And as the light teased to the east

The beast eyed her technique

But didn't speak

A deep heat seeped through her cheeks

Time seemed to increase in speed then ease

 

Sweat glistened over her skin and muscles

She was deft and subtle

As she shuffled through the rubble

Trying to coax a whole from this puzzle

We call Humpty Dumpty

She was trouble

But Humpty, he thought she was lovely

See, when he was all about beneath her heels crunching

Thinking this is the end it must be

And is, there a special hell for his particular type of shell

Or just nothing

 

No matter where the end

She was able to put Humpty together again

She repaired him, but you see her intent it was just pretend

She filled in each crack with future revenge

Making a mortar of resentment mixed with torment

In a violent and bitter personal blend

That she could later rend and augment

Again and again

 

But, she stayed...and there were more falls

Never had one seen an egg so mauled

Humpty, he would fall then drink and drawl

He would scrawl small obscenities all over the wall

He would crawl to the top dripping ethanol

And scream about his cholesterol

And the proper protocol

For being a neanderthal

 

But, it turned out Humpty was jumping from the wall after all

Time after time just pissing

Missing the seat and painting the stall

Wheezing deep breaths of albuterol

While screaming who made him the intercontinental apostle

Made of Swedish meatballs from Montreal

For Humpty it seemed to be now, that lucidity was a fluid thing

And he was just barely able to forget his faults

With an hourly top off of propylene glycol

And Rubbing alcohol

In a way that couldn't really be considered sub-lethal

 

Instead of braving what might be  waiting

And facing down the sound at the end of the hall

Humpty became addicted to the whoosh and rush of the fall

He'd hide from the shame engraved in stains across his frame

By breaking and cracking his own skull

Always seeking the oblivion that called from the bottom of the wall

 

Now left alone with only pieces of him galled

She became used to her tears and the taste of their salt

The manic habit was static and so sad but too late to halt

Till one day she looked down at it all and

Couldn't find a single thing in her life by which she wasn't appalled

So she finally took all of Humpty’s pieces

And she mashed them into a lumpy little ball

That she placed upon her lap

As she sat atop the wall

 

Looking down wondering what it'd be like to fall

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this is an allegorical analogy of true stuff. tell me what you think....

The Tree

As I walked down the road thinking,

How all hope had abandoned me...

I came up on a pitiful sight~

A bent, lonely and broken tree.

Tears fell from my eyes,

As I reflected on my life...

How much I felt like this tree~

Pitiful, broken and full of strife.

I sat down at the base,

Closed my eyes and begin to pray...

"Dear Lord, why did I give up.

And allow the strings of my heart to fray?"

He  answered with a whisper,

Like a soft and gentle wind...

You turned away from Me, my child~

But I promise this isn't the end."

He then went on to tell me,

To look at the top of the tree...

So I tilted my head skyward~

And saw two lovely green leaves!

Then God said "when you think you're alone

And feeling lonely broken and bent...

Look up to Me for reassuranc~

For My love is Heaven sent.

And like the two leaves,

That you now see...

I will ALWAYS be with you~

Especially when you're a broken and bent tree.

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Wonderland

 
 

I'm not in wonderland anymore 

I'm not Alice but lost and un pure
You never saw what I did hide
The death in my eyes of my painful lies 
But I did not give in so quick 
But you stood and watched as I got sick 
And i wasn't ill with physical ache 
It was my mind that was starting to break 
I didn't mean to fail, I didn't mean to cry 
But I allowed my lips to only speak lies 
But as the pain flooded through my eyes 
Suicide crept through my mind.
Author's Notes/Comments: 

if you wanted to see me break, you could of just asked?

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tags:

Birth of Something Beautiful

I sat at my desk and rubbed my eyes,

Rocking back and forth in my grey

Office chair. The coffee I drank caused my loins to

Burn so I stood up to take a leak.

 

Passing my bedroom mirror, I saw

My profile and noticed that

My chest was round and peacockish.

The burning moved from my groin

 

To my right hand. I grabbed an

Unfinished volume of my thoughts from the

Shelf and peeled back the skin. I found

My place (as I often do) and navigated

 

My Pilot across the strict ruled page.

Black streams of thought formed like

A fetus in the womb, kicking my insides.

My breathing was fast, then slowed to the

 

Rhythm of my heartbeat. I pushed.

What was on the inside was coming

out. I looked down at my son. My hand was

Limp and my chest concaved.

 

I am overcome with sorrow.
I do it again tomorrow.

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No Angel

Folder: 
Dark

 

Stitched wings

Attached to frail bones

Darkened eyes

Lifeless as stone

Halo teetering

By uneven horns

Once a smile

Before being born

No color shown

Pallet a pasty pale

Never any sunshine

In a world so stale

Lips crusted over

From the words unspoken

Corrupted mind

In a soul that’s broken

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Sitting next to you

SITTING NEXT TO YOU

 

Sitting next to you

I feel like a fool

Thinking about the past

Even though it didn’t last

I told you how I felt

I wasn’t good enough

Trying to get over you

The pain just grew and grew

Then you come back, want to give this a try

So happy I could cry

Two days pass . . .

Somehow I knew it wouldn’t last

You tell me you’re sorry

Are you sorry?

This is the third time you’ve hurt me

What’s the matter, don’t believe me

I’m not surprised

Why did I look at you like you were some great prize?

You were like my drug

I wish I could have quit you

But still, I want to hit you

Crush you like the bug you are

WHATS WRONG? YOU DIDN’T LIKE IT!

COULDN’T STAND HOW I WAS QUIET!

I am who I am

Why can’t you understand?

I really liked you

Somehow I still do

Kind of thought you felt the same way too

All I wanted was to be with you

 

Sitting next to you

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*When Love Becomes A Lie*

 

 March.27.2011

 Trisha Barrek Hopkins

 

In the begining was great

But towards a month passing

I started to get a feeling of hate

And wondering if we would be lasting

 

You tell me you didn't do a thing

My gut tells me a different feeling

To my heart forgiveness I try to bring

But no matter how hard it tries

My heart is having a hard time healing 

At night....Every night it cries

I know of the hints they are revealing

I pray none of them are true lies

 

I promise you from the start

That I'd stick by you no matter what

But you also promised you wouldn't break my heart

And now it's going back to being half shut

It's beaking apart

 

I will keep to my promise we won't ever part

I hold on to what you have told me 

But if when our love becomes a lie 

I will have no choice but to set you free

I don't want to really though

Because my heart will then fully die 

And I will be left with pain

With nights of tears to show

And I'll be alone....all alone

I'll be left to cry

My heart then turns to stone 

 

All because love became a lie 

The promise you made to me 

You never were ever going to keep

The love you said you gave

You promised you would never leave

My heart got broken my chest caved

 

Your words you lead me to believe

All that came out of your mouth was true

But now my heart bleeds

Of pain and agony

And I'm crying on my knees

How much I'm broken apart

Don't tell me you didn't know

I promised you I wouldn't leave

But your love you no longer show

Maybe it's time you give me back my heart

 

You said you would stick by my side 

For me you'd always care 

But I see now that was a lie all along

You lead me on and that's not fair

Maybe we don't belong

 

You told me your love would never end

You said you'd always be faithful

And always your love you'd send

But you no longer call me beautiful

Now we just feel like friends

My love I don't think with you I can share

I believe now you were pretend

 

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