My thoughts are
Disorganized,
Shards of broken glass.
If I touch them, they will cut me,
Blood spilling onto the floor,
Tainting it, making it slick.
Or Perhaps rather
They are constantly shifting
Like a cloud in the sky
If I touch them, they pass
Through my fingers, out of reach
Where birds fly and wheel.
I close my eyes and reach blindly
Deep into the well of my mind,
Grasping desperately for sanity.
I surround myself.
Darkness explodes into color.
Notes flow past,
Lifting, resonating
Pounding
Through my veins.
Thicker than blood,
Faster than clouds.
Spreading
Filling
As my soul flies.
Stronger than anger
More enduring than love
All the colors of the heart and mind
Fade in comparison.
Flaring white-hot spots of
Brilliance, Blooming into
Warmth, Cooling the mind,
Easing pain and fatigue.
All the world is music.
They think I’m an angel
And they’re right, I guess
A fallen being of light
Now just a shadow of former glory
I gave my immortality
To the mortal I loved
And she threw it away
Without second thought
I can no longer fly
I try to repair these torn off wings
With the broken pieces of wedding rings
As the air around me turns to ash
Ashes to ashes and from ash to dust
Is this what mortality is like?
Is this the ravages of time on me?
But with my death, I find life
With my mortality, I enter the immortal
For Death, is only the beginning.
I'll write your name upon this paper
next to mine in a heart
with forever as a waver
till death do us part
Mrs. Insert your name here
that's the way it should've been
your name, now a puddle from tears
written with the ink of a washable pen
what happened to the fairy tale
I never did believe
until the day I looked in your blue eyes
and saw what could be
now my dream is just a dream
that will never come true
because a fairy tale won't happen
if there is no you
now I spend my nights alone
wishing I was her
and all day I stare at my phone
hoping to see your number
that new girl, she's the lucky one
I hope she knows what she has
because for you, I'd give the sun
for one more night in your hands.
You said everything was ok
I just wanted everything to be alright
why couldn't you just say it wasn't right....
you hid everything...everything
why couldn't you just say i wasn't right...
maybe someday i'll get the courage to ask you why...
why did you lie to me?
why play this game...this useless game with my heart...
someday...one day..maybe i'll ask you why...
why drag me down this lonely lane this pointless path....
i gave you my all...
maybe that was my mistake...
maybe that was my mistake...
i promise never again will i make this mistake ...
am I nothing but broken bones? is this beating heart nothing but a burden to myself & everyone I meet..?
as I walk through this valley alone..
the shadows become something i've well known.
your eyes, they magnetize.. the fear in my soul is screaming out "lies!"
where should I try to hide..?
the clouds hang above, as the river i'm crossing over continues to flow..
if I were to fall, would anyone ever know? slipping away from it all, even myself..
glancing at these hands, I wonder what would be different if I was somebody else..
this forest goes farther than the birds & the trees..
this grass grows taller than below our knees..
my fate is an open wound.. bleeding.. bruised.. cut & used..
where am I going..? what am I to do..?
too many questions within me.. are we all our own worst enemy..?
on the top of this hill, the sunrise & fall reminds me of Gods undying love..
every memory that follows behind is purpose-less..
how could you think you know me better than I know myself?
every word you spew is worthless..
dreams are like looking through stained glass..
all different shapes, colors, hues..
why would you want to watch them shatter.. how could it not matter!?
one thing to remember.. don't give your love away, for the sake of saving someone else...
path after path, turn upon turn.. we struggle, maybe learn..
I stare into space & wait.. for something, i'll never know exactly what...
ashes have become of these fantasies..
careful not to let the blood of the past stain what is of my today..
dancing around the casualties.. murder my misery.
shed a tear for everything that used to be & let it all blow far over me.
if only we could all perfectly mend these wounds..
fragilties of life, scars of death..
the last time you close your eyes... that very last breath..
black night sky with stars so electric..
fragrant & soothing, my boat keeps moving..
row, row, drift away..
feet in the dirt but i'm being pulled astray..
the current so strong & winds full force.
the ocean is taking it's course..
beneath the misty swamp, stirs disarray..
where Satan's children go to play..
one by one, two by two.. sinking to the bottom.
he's a theif, can't you tell..?
reeking of that evil smell..
naive indeed as you let him feed..
you act as if life has turned you to this bad seed..
fool, you did it to yourself...
why blame someone else?
& finally I jump in the river to drown..
reaching out for my savior, not because i'm in danger..
I need to be taken from this earth.. I smile because i'm hurt...
when my feet hit the river floor, i'll close my eyes, & open the doors..
a light shone through, my hope for God was true...
I embrace... soon free... this body was never me.
Gone as fast you came, good riddance right?
What's the point of staying here,
being here just brings me down.
Often leaving with out hesitation
Bring all the heat but all you do is smash patience.
Nothing left here but broken hearts and faded out faces.
Scratching a canvas full of old Images.
We've been here more than once.
Like a tourist destination.
I'd like to escape, sign my resignation
Moving on forward but end up taking two steps back.
Losing my mind here as I keep getting attatched
Sever the bonds and break lose of these chains
Cause once i'm set free
I'll feel happy and free and with out worry
Of having to please you again..
Goodbye
Time has passed on by beyond anyone's control.
The feelings i've felt before enriched my soul.
The boundry-less emotions were overwhelming
Yet no one could say it wasn't a real feeling.
I live today not knowing what coulv've come next, in my heart follows a tinge of reget
A day without knowing what might come next.
Lack of affection, restless nights
What have we become? From what we originated from...
When life gives you lemons,
you'll pucker at first;
but after a while,
you'll become immune to the flavor.
Who knows,
you may even acquire a taste for them.
She was an aqua butterfly fluttering her iridescent in the frigid winds of the north
Searching and wandering though she was not lost only to be found.
She hugged every morsel of the tree with reverence loving it and becoming it.
And she was all thoughtless we had but no mind of our own
But she swore by these paragons of deliberate hatred and what she wanted was to be a perfect memory to every man who was arrogant enough to experience her body.
She glittered with desire, breaking so easily, so tarnished, so gone. She was fooled and damp with hatred
She knew from behind her back that she was nothing of my knowledge.
She terrified me and chilled me to the very nomadic wanderlust of my soul.
And when she was recognized every part of the metaphysical realm came alive.
At two she rose and watched the butterfly fall beneath her waist and flutter
And those who fell broke to the scent of her glittering perfume, and the rubies and roses all became her through the damn wall she used to be me.