broken

Dead To The World

Folder: 
Depression/sadness

I'm stuck inside myself.

 

Attacked by all my feelings,

attacked by all my pain.

 

I'm stuck inside my head,

and I'm dead to the world. 

 

 

Everyone around me is living,

they seem truly happy,

they go out and do things.

 

 

And then there's me...

 

I'm the girl who throws 

out small smiles,

ones that aren't like my real ones,

and yet people still fall for them.

 

I smile and act like everything

is a-okay when I'm around others,

But once I'm alone-

the smile drops away,

the laughter dies.

 

The tears come,

the pain hits, 

and I slowly sink 

down onto the floor. 

 

I'm dead to the world.

 

I'm not living anymore.

 

Dead to the World

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Please let me know what you think!

 

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Phoenix

Folder: 
Love

Let me lie

Let me freeze again

Till death do we part

And we are on a fast road there

Let me die

Let me live

For death is only the beginning

 

And I will rise again

The Path of the River

I am bound again, just as they said I was
It's clear and beautiful blue hue becomes forever cloudy
A bird's chirps become distorted by the rain and thunder's cries

I walk alone the path of the river
Alone accompanied by my footprints only
Till the crow comes to bring yet another question
This I can't ignore, for the world will shiver


And the steam shall arise from my next decision
and the never's and forever's again will pour the air
I hope to hold on to whatever is left
The sun can tell another day, to become my true vision






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You Broke Me *up for suggestions*

I had built a wall up,

up around my heart.

 

I had protected my heart,

until you showed up 

in my life. 

 

 

I let my guard down,

exposing my wall to you.

 

I fell hard and 

I fell fast for you.

 

Instead of taking care 

of my heart and wall,

you decided to do otherwise.

 

You broke my wall down,

causing my heart to

be crushed and broken.

 

I gave you access 

to my heart

and you broke me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Let me know what you think!!!

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I Look For Company in the Cracks

and he will leave me alone tonight

Again within my darkness, my question and fright

and again, again my emotions are denied

And again I pretend to be okay, when a heart is fried

 

I'd like to know just one thing

Will there ever be an answer to bring?

Night by night, without a knock on my door

Tears so frozen, still thoughts bringing me so sore

 

I embrace my shadows and what I have been ripped from

I try to look up to the sky, and yet there's still no sight of a visible sun

Your lies cloud the beauty from what I could see

Your lies take away from what I thought could be

 

and it's all so obvious, yet my boredom chooses to hold me up so

To the still of chained emotions, trying to grasp the shadows made of woe

and again, I still do not  know why

When my only entertainment is looking forward to another lie..

 

With your words draped in sweet clever disguises

Lead me only to questions and silent demises

You again speak of love so freely

But I can tell by your eyes you don't hold it dearly

 

and I'll wait intently again for more words to keep me company

So I can cling to something, someone, but instead I look forward to agony

It's something I don't quite understand

but it's the closest I have to someone else's hand

 

and he will leave me alone for another night

Still without another explanation, I cling to an empty sight

 

 

 

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Her Perspective

I found a girl, and saw her perspective
Silent, yet surprisingly reflective
They claimed she was away, entirely defective

But I knew otherwise just from the look in her eyes
I saw through the silent, and closed off disguise


And from there, I saw the immediate connection
Completely dissected, but still searches for true affection

 

Her warm, yet crooked emotion
A calmed, yet broken devotion

 

Silent, but struggling for her sound
and yet, still not a face found

 

Her skin torn, gone and rotten.
Her mouth stolen, words lost, ignored and forgotten.

 

She was exposed to all of the morbid things
Corrupted lies, and uneven broken wings

 

All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew

 

And she left sudden, without a word,
Her existence she seen was too blurred

 

Before I could realize, she was gone and done
Did you ever wonder what life can become?

 

All she wanted to know if happiness was true
This is what I saw, this was the girl I knew..

Thoughts and Emotions

Folder: 
Mindscapes

 

My thoughts are

Disorganized, 

Shards of broken glass.

 

If I touch them, they will cut me, 

Blood spilling onto the floor, 

Tainting it, making it slick.

 

Or Perhaps rather

They are constantly shifting

Like a cloud in the sky

 

If I touch them, they pass

Through my fingers, out of reach

Where birds fly and wheel.

 

I close my eyes and reach blindly

Deep into the well of my mind,

Grasping desperately for sanity.

 

I surround myself.

 

Darkness explodes into color.

 

Notes flow past, 

Lifting, resonating

Pounding

Through my veins.

 

Thicker than blood,

Faster than clouds.

 

Spreading

Filling

As my soul flies.

 

Stronger than anger

More enduring than love

All the colors of the heart and mind

Fade in comparison.

 

Flaring white-hot spots of 

Brilliance, Blooming into 

Warmth, Cooling the mind, 

Easing pain and fatigue.

 

All the world is music.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Personal philosophy, 

 

Music is emotion, and emotion is music. There is no difference.

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Mortal Angel

Folder: 
Light and Dark

They think I’m an angel

And they’re right, I guess

A fallen being of light

Now just a shadow of former glory

 

I gave my immortality

To the mortal I loved

And she threw it away

Without second thought

 

I can no longer fly

I try to repair these torn off wings

With the broken pieces of wedding rings

 

As the air around me turns to ash

Ashes to ashes and from ash to dust

Is this what mortality is like?

Is this the ravages of time on me?

 

But with my death, I find life

With my mortality, I enter the immortal

 

For Death, is only the beginning.

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Washable Ink.

I'll write your name upon this paper

next to mine in a heart

with forever as a waver

till death do us part

 

Mrs. Insert your name here

that's the way it should've been

your name, now a puddle from tears

written with the ink of a washable pen

 

what happened to the fairy tale

I never did believe

until the day I looked in your blue eyes

and saw what could be

now my dream is just a dream

that will never come true

because a fairy tale won't happen

if there is no you

 

now I spend my nights alone

wishing I was her

and all day I stare at my phone

hoping to see your number

 

that new girl, she's the lucky one

I hope she knows what she has

because for you, I'd give the sun

for one more night in your hands