crave

All alone All along

like porcelain shavings

her skin began to crack

like a feather floating on thin air

she's losing strands of silken hair

 

the mirror spits back 

all the qualities in which we lack

like needles in our eyes

poisoned with vain lies

 

she savored the quiet moments 

devoid of conversation 

the sound of still breathing

the footsteps that followed him leaving.

 

the closer I feel

the further you fade

the more I crave

the less you feed

so I chose not to need 

a single thing..

 

will there ever be a solid bridge built to cross..?

a river below, to toss our fears away...

voices muffled, as she sank deeper

yet no hand reaches.

sunshine streaks through the surface

the only warmth you'll get

engulfed in cold fluids

& a heart weighed down by loves disillusions---

many reminders of what could have been..

 

all alone

she knew it all along..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

5.7.15

Metallic love

I can't focus... it's getting to me, more each day.. 

my thoughts stretch like clay, & unfortunately mold me, here & there.. 

I wish so much for you to of been able to stay.

was it really mean't to be this way..?

cause I surely feel unsatisfied.. 

comfort is something we all crave.. 

but you were like security to me, & I watched it all get ripped away..

what a waste of a night.. what a realization, I couldn't fight..

 

I miss you more then the depths of the ocean go deep..

some nights like this.. I have trouble trying to sleep.. 

we yearn, we learn.. forever burn...

tables turn..

I want to take back so much i've said..

because they were useless particles floating around in my head..

6 months pass.. everything falls to ash but the memories.. 

 

fuck me for letting other opinions get in the way of my true heart..

fuck them for denying love.. as if they really knew.

sorry I can seem like a rainbow of emotions.. or a bleak cloudy day.. 

but I can promise much sunshine after being drenched in such heavy rain.. 

 

will another 6 months make a difference..?

or would it just be a whole year spent needing you..

it's not like I can't live... or breathe without you..

but it's to the point I really just don't want to... 

sorry about getting "distracted".. 

I don't excpect you to still feel like you need me,

want, love or care about me.. 

though I feel all the same & even more.

 

this incense continues to coil... & I could watch it for hours.

as i'm thinking.. when I die.. would this all of passed right before my eyes?

I want to know that instead of sitting here, waiting..

hoping, wondering.. not knowing.. 

instead, I'll get to see you smile again..

that for me, would never ever be a waste of time.

at least i'd know that's what I did with my last bit of life.

 

I don't know if I have the power anymore to get you to laugh without trying..

or the privilege of being on your mind... 

when I take my last breath, please tear this heart out of my chest..

put it in a jar.. keep it preserved.

if you go first.. i'll remember your wish, if it's still what you'd want.

i'll hold onto yours too.. even though it's no longer beating..

always I will love you.. through my hands this blood is seeping..

like treasure... from the chest.

metallic love..  

Author's Notes/Comments: 

3.12.13..

Dreams begin to end

We dream until we don't
We live until we stop
All these days are now
And now they're not
I live today, tonight, tomorrow
Maybe it'll save me from sorrow
A reality I chose to follow
leads a still life, lost in between
constant cracks throughout my path
Always craving something more
yet held by phantoms that spin me round
They made me nauseous where I'm bound
Unshackle me from there
I do not belong 'round here
Free thyself from these accursed lands
Brake the spell that tie the bands
The world is moving, shifting by
I'm standing without a reason why
nothing more may hold me
I'm really leaving now, goodbye

E.A.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

criticism?

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