the need


to be ugly 


to get





to be pathetic


out of grief


for lives





i've known




with more 









2:16 AM 7/6/2013 ©



Author's Notes/Comments: 



Open wide to let the world flow in,

while embracing love,

feeling creation. Allow the creative, and

just this once,

forget memory to receive now.

Observe a sunset
and be a part of it.
Feel an integration with everything around you,

for it is you.

Reality is your existence, but what you perceive
is a mere projection.

Your mind projects
with a cluttered vision of ‘know’ledge.

You know not.

It’s opinions, judgments, justifications, speculations, and masturbations.
Forget what you ‘know’ and cast out memory—

significance equal to reveries,

but taken as seriously as reality.

Reality to all
is unknown and immeasurable.

So instead we thrive

in the known and miserable.

-Ryan K. Fuller

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Now is everything

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As each new day dawns I realize the things I have lost,
Your love, Your trust, Your respect and most importantly completeness.
I know that I have hurt you in the most perverse way imaginable.
Please allow forgiveness to replace the mistrust.

I try desperately each day to heal your hurt.
It will take time and patience to regain such love from you.
But waiting is such a hard thing. It is tormenting to wait.
It is so disheartening not to be able physically to give you the things you desire.

I begin to hate myself for that.
Hate is such a despicable thing to have for oneself.
I don't know how to deal with this self hatred.

Each night I realize that the only thing that matters is you.
Each night I lay awake and wonder what could I have done differently during the waking hours to make things better for you.

How much I need and want to hold you, kiss you, make love to you, just have you back completely.

I try intensely not to overwhelm you, but my love is so all consuming for you this is a Immense task.
I want you to continue to be you, desiring that being you includes me.

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