“I had a child just like you”
She said to me that day
Waiting in the hospital
On my knees to pray
She didn't know who I was
Her mind just couldn't see
That I knew who she talked about
The child was truly me.
We'd had this converse once before
And many before that
The degradation of her mind
Was obvious, as she sat
And prattled on about her son
How happy he will be
With her family when she comes home
And I had to agree
She never found her memories
Or recognized my face
After everything she went through
She's in a better place
Where memories last forever
And can't be lost to time
Where human bodies don't break down
Always in their prime
Many years have come and gone
I can't recall them all
It's not like I haven't tried
But the thoughts just have a pall
I try to stare back to the past
Peer directly through the grime
Just like a fog covered my eyes
It's hard to see through mists of time
Tell me a story
I've never heard before
Of faraway lands
And long-distant shores
Of knights and their honor
Of sweet maidens fair
Exercise your eloquence
To transport me there
Tell me a story
Of love won and lost
Of heroes unwavering
No matter the cost
Sing me a lullaby
Of joy and regret
And maybe, just maybe
I'll learn to forget
The tap tap tapping of his feet grow louder on the hard linoleum floor as his heart beats faster. Pounding in his chest, drowning out the sound in his ears and bringing his eyes to tears. He is lost. How did he get where he is? He has no idea what force brought him to this place. But wait he knows where to go, the next turn is right... no no no left. Breaking left he flies down the corridor. Pictures on the walls, bodies without faces, places he’s been before. Bursting through the double doors at the end of the hallway he enters an open plaza, and there she is.
This is it, this is what he was brought here for. A second chance, forcing his hand to finally make the move on… on… what was her name? What is my name? That hardly matters now, but here she is placed upon a silver platter for him to take as his liking. A noise from behind. He turns and out from whence he came, comes a familiar and distasteful face.
“I see you’ve found what you have been looking for,” says the vile looking man.
“Who are you?”
“I am your antagonist, I am the conflict that chooses where you step, I am your worst fear. I am your failure.”
“What madness are you speaking?”
“Take a look for yourself.”
Turning he notices his lost love, slipping from his grasp again. Down an alley through a busy street she turns without a glance back. Without a further look at this new profound man he is at a sprint again. Faster even than when he feared for his own life. She was more important than his life. What would be left to piece together if he let her walk out of his life again?
SLAM! Right in front of him a taxi from the street hits a light pole inches from his own body. Stopping momentarily he glances in at the driver, only to see the smiling face of his so called “antagonist.”
“Time is running out,” he says.
“Then I have no time to waste on the likes of you!”
Faster and faster he crosses the street and finally makes it to the alleyway that was his destination. He slows to a quick-walk, because it is extremely dark in the alley, even though it was mid-day behind him. Reaching about a third of the way through the alley he notices a curled figure on the floor… no two.
“This is your fault…” the man says grimly.
Tossing him aside, he takes a step toward her heaving, sobbing figure.
“Why must you cry my love? I’ve come to ask for a second… nay a first chance, that I never put forth before.”
She continues weeping for a reason unknown to him.
“Why do you weep at such a time to rejoice?! Speak to me! I’ve done my best, tried my hardest, I deserve at least a word!”
She slowly rights herself into a sitting position, looks up to him, and says, “Goodbye.”
Suddenly he is in his room in his apartment. He recalls his dream, the faces he saw, remembers who they are, remembers what they mean to him, and remembers his own identity. He lies back down, wishing he could forget.
Could this be worth?
Could this be mine?
Do you mean everything-
Is going to be alright?
I slept in the light-
It was crowded-
Much more than silent.
Where is this love?
I don't feel the same-
Don't know what this is-
Should be given a name?
I dreamt of songs.
I dreamt of sounds.
I saw when gravity-
Lifted me from the ground.
When I woke-
You were there,
Writing scriptures,
Vows on my forehead.
And you said..
"I'd forget 23,
Like I forgot 17."
You'd forget me-
Your first love,
Like I forget-
My daydreams.
But what if I adpot them?
These thoughts,
Memories-
and the times I had with them?
You promised..
"They'll all fade to grey soon."
Darken craters in the moon.
Go on and just let it rain
Rain on down
I don’t care
Anyhow
Keep on washing
This pain away
I don’t care
She’s gone away
Twilight’s moonlight
Shines against the sun
Hasn’t taken over yet
But I know it’s won
Just like how I feel right now
Numbness sets on me
Taking away how I felt
What we could’ve been
Hell ya rain is a good thing
Because where would I really be
Without it taking away my thoughts
And all my memory
Without my past
I have a future
So just go on
Rain on down
I don’t care
Anyhow
Keep on washing
This pain away
I don’t care
She’s gone away
I'm drowning in this ocean of pain,
And burning in this acid rain.
I'm falling through memories;
Slowly killing me, is this disease.
Every night I try to change,
What thoughts run through my head.
But I cannot help,
To what events this may have lead.
It kills me every time,
I have to say goodbye,
To the times with no pain;
No suffering in vain.
I die from bleeding inside,
The blood pours on the floor.
I die from fatal suicide,
I couldn't take it anymore.
I took a kitchen knife,
Or a razor and a lighter.
I ended my life;
I was never any fighter.
I've given up on life,
I've given up on me.
I've given up on everything;
Said it cannot be.
I've ended my being,
All so you could be free.
I want you to see,
As I end all of me.
Now that I'm no more,
My corpse lies on the floor.
Now that I never speak again,
Will you have the strength I never gained?
My end, though,
Was a group contribution.
It was thanks to me, and to them,
That led to my execution.
Our hearts, our love, it never bends,
But this is how my story ends.
I understand if you cried,
If you hurt when I died.
But listen to me now,
You still have time,
Before the pain overcomes
Your whole being, like mine.
Run away from it all,
Run away from your past.
I may be dead,
But you will still last.
Everything will be all right,
I promise you that, dear.
I'll be in your heart every night;
My spirit will lay near.
For the rest of your life,
For the rest of forever,
I can't ever let you forget,
When we were together.
Every once in a while,
Will you think of me?
The memories will last,
They will always be.
It was not at all your fault,
That I don't live anymore.
I was my own and others;
You I'll always adore.
Many years will have passed,
And I will be forgot.
You'll live a better life,
Now that I've died and rot.
He's got gadgets
Gizmos
"Honey, have you seen what THIS thing can do?"
He's got gadgets
Gizmos
He loves that damn thing more than he loves me
He's got gadgets
Gizmos
Spending more time in the bathroom with it than he does with me
Does he still think i'm beautiful?
He's got gadgets
Gizmos
"Oh darling, look at what THIS thing can do sweetheart!"
Does he still want me?
He's got gadgets
Gizmos
"Look at this feature, it's AMAZING!"
What is left to give?
She's got gadgets
Gizmos
But she'll never tell
Welcome to the City of Dreams
All full of nightmares, daydreams, and schemes
Whatever you dream; it’s a wonderful theme
Whenever you want; you’re always the king
Lie down and sleep your pain away
Forget your past, forget the day
Here the only toil is play
It’s easy to come here, there’s many a way
Become the hero you wanted to be
Without actually being what you see
In this world only, can you be free
Stay with us, is our only plea
Be rich, be naughty
Be powerful, be haughty
Live in this dream, decaying body
No one will care if you’re a bit dotty
It’ll be too late, when you finally know
You’re not in control; was only a show
So just sit back, and go with the flow
While we take you to an all-time low
Down the rabbit hole
Into the earth
Shadows will blind you
Now what was this worth?
Life is so fleeting
Death is now eating
Living and dying
Laughing while crying
Fall into madness
Can’t tell the difference
Between night and day
Between real and fake
Between right and wrong
Between sky and cake
There is no difference
Only existence
Nothing to do
But dream
The City of Dreams…
“Welcome to The City of Dreams…”
After the thunder
Comes the rain
After a blow
Comes the pain
After it’s done
Comes the shame
You shouldn’t have done it
Brother Cain
Did you not know
That death is hungry
Did you not know
It always needs
Did you not know
It’s never full
Didn’t you know
It eats him who feeds
Cursed are you
For killing your brother
Start life anew
Far from another
Marked is your forehead
So you’ll never forget
Death feeds on you yet
Why does the sky cry
When I’m crying
Why does the wind howl
As I’m dying
Why do the animals whimper
As I bleed
Why is it so cold
When death feeds?