I can tell tales of woe
By Jfarrell
I can tell tales of woe
Make you cry
Make you hurt
Make you wish
Things I won’t mention.
I can tell tales of destruction
I lit the match
Didn’t mean to, but,
Ashes, ruins, the stench of wet smoke,
How many of us are HERE? Right now?
But, I so wish..
Tales of hope I can do,
I know I need hope;
Tales of encouragement I can do,
I definitely need that.
You,
All of YOU!
Will have to help me with
Tales of love,
I haven’t enough to remember
To recall,
To visualise,
To connect with the feelings…
An experience,
I must have had
Long ago
I long to….
By JFarrell
I long to
SCREAM
Let it out, let it all out;
Pain, anger,
Just plain old
Frustration
I so want to
Let it out.
I long to
fall in love
To love another totally, absolutely
and be loved back
To be held
Close
Tenderly.
I long to
Be a better person
Not this stupid, waste of space;
Maybe
If I were a better person
I wouldn’t have to
Long to….
And
I am
So
Trying
(may you all have beautiful rainbows in your life)
(and beautiful dragons too)
I used to be happy
Now I don't know what that is
I was a child when everthing went to shit
Two deaths in the family
And then a friend died
My mother's boyfriend turned abusive
I now have scars to hide
Self-harm I started to help with the pain
Until my hand slipped and I had to go to the ER
I was forced to see a therapist
And things started to get better
Until the day my mothers friend
Someone like a brother
Decide to see if he liked children
Everything came crashing back down
I had a major break down
My self-harm started back up
My therapist I quit
School I stopped going
I just laid in bed
Trying not to think
Two years have passed since then
My self-harm I stopped
I go out now
I even have friends
But i'm not happy
To many scars
Both physical and mental
Will stop me from ever being happy.
i long for your comfort
but dare ask not.
I long for your attention
but give instead of got.
i must escape for sanity
reality crushes too harsh
so instead i just retreat
To the bites and Pages
savoring the comfort, however meek
refusing to ask you
i seek to comfort myself
alone, with baked potato regrets.
I sing as the blade parts my flesh.
Why am I doing this?
Been longing for this pain; don’t know what I gain but I love it.
Please stop.
So memorizing and erotic, stimulating and euphoric. The tingle is tantalizing – it makes me quiver and my spine shutter.
Last time.
Keeps me from shooting myself. I don’t know how to escape the nightmare that living has become.
God I need help.
This anger inside has rattled my cage
I hide it in a bottle labled rage
I;m sick of its tormenting lies
As it pokes and prys
And searches for a release
It begs pretty please
I keep telling it no, but it gets harder with time
I grab a bottle of tequilla and fuck the lime
I drown my sarrows and shatter my memories
With this broken bottle I sever my arteries
Laying there feeling guilty, I let my soul leave
I sigh and mutter, I just wanted one to believe
My blood's thickening, please just cauterize
'Cause in my final thoughts I finally realize
I take a breath and start to fight
Don't give up, I can see the light
My wife and kids are there crying
Please stop, I'm not dying
Then I hear them praying a prayer
As I look down at my cold dead stare
Laying in my coffin, I know it's too late
But, then I wake up sweating, It's not my fate
I roll over to kiss my wife
She's not there, is this still my life?
Fuck this world, fuck this life, fuck you if you give me strife
I don't care, I don't wanna care
This world is doing nothing but leaving me bare.
Tell me, what's stopping me,
from grabbing this blade, cutting, and watching me bleed?
You don't care, so why should I?
You'll just walk if you see me die.
Her little head has a lot of imaginations,
From all the experiences she went through.
All the ups and downs,
She remained strong and happy.
No matter how hard he broke her,
She kept her head high
And focused at what matters most.
She’s like a soldier,
Brave, strong and resourceful.
Even if she has her friends and family,
She wants to be
That strong independent woman
No man will ever make her weak.