Pain

Baked potatoes and regret

i long for your comfort 

but dare ask not. 

I long for your attention

but give instead of got. 

 i must escape for sanity

reality crushes too harsh 

so instead i just retreat  

To the bites and Pages 

savoring the comfort, however meek

refusing to ask you

i seek to comfort myself

alone, with baked potato regrets. 

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Daily Routine

I sing as the blade parts my flesh.

Why am I doing this?

Been longing for this pain; don’t know what I gain but I love it.

Please stop.

So memorizing and erotic, stimulating and euphoric. The tingle is tantalizing – it makes me quiver and my spine shutter.

Last time.

Keeps me from shooting myself. I don’t know how to escape the nightmare that living has become.

God I need help.

 

 

 

 

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Deprivation

Folder: 
Haiku

I can't figure out,

My emotions are a mess.

Laugh, cry, scream or die?

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Prophetic Nightmare

This anger inside has rattled my cage

I hide it in a bottle labled rage

I;m sick of its tormenting lies

As it pokes and prys

And searches for a release

It begs pretty please

I keep telling it no, but it gets harder with time

I grab a bottle of tequilla and fuck the lime

I drown my sarrows and shatter my memories

With this broken bottle I sever my arteries

Laying there feeling guilty, I let my soul leave

I sigh and mutter, I just wanted one to believe

My blood's thickening, please just cauterize

'Cause in my final thoughts I finally realize

I take a breath and start to fight

Don't give up, I can see the light

My wife and kids are there crying

Please stop, I'm not dying

Then I hear them praying a prayer

As I look down at my cold dead stare

Laying in my coffin, I know it's too late

But, then I wake up sweating, It's not my fate

I roll over to kiss my wife

She's not there, is this still my life?

FUCK

Fuck this world, fuck this life, fuck you if you give me strife

I don't care, I don't wanna care

This world is doing nothing but leaving me bare.

Tell me, what's stopping me,

from grabbing this blade, cutting, and watching me bleed?

You don't care, so why should I?

You'll just walk if you see me die.

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Soldier


Her little head has a lot of imaginations,

From all the experiences she went through.

All the ups and downs,

She remained strong and happy.

 

No matter how hard he broke her,

She kept her head high

And focused at what matters most.

She’s like a soldier,

Brave, strong and resourceful.

 

Even if she has her friends and family,

She wants to be

That strong independent woman

 

No man will ever make her weak.



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If it hurts... (You're alive)

If it hurts (you're alive)
***********************
How can I move on, when I can't even get up?

How can I stop hurting, when this pain makes me throw up!
In my head; I try to see, where we went wrong;
This feeling I feel; reminds me of; a sad country song.
The one that I love, has thrown me away...
All of a sudden, it just happened one day!
She said, she tried, but she had to pretend
That to her I was no more, then just, an old friend.
Gawd; how it hurt, to hear her say that...
"Had to pretend"... those words knocked me down flat!
Now, I don't think a friend, would string me along...
Or, play me like a violin, now that... would be wrong!
In one breath, she says, she'll always love me
But in the next she says, she never will love me.

How can I forget, all the things we've shared
How can I believe, she never really cared..
I know on my part, I loved her so much
I'm going through withdraws, for lack of her touch!
Help me somebody, I am begging please
I'll try anything, if it puts my pain at ease.
I wake in the morning, but dont get out of bed
I can't face the world, so I'll just hide instead.
No one can see me, so they can't see me cry.
If it would help stop this pain, then I would gladly die!
Someone once told me , the pain would go away
All I need do, is go out and get laid
How can I do that, when she fills my every thought
I'd be lucky to get it up, let alone get it hard as a rock
How can I end this pain, I feel but I can't see?
How can I move on, if she is not with me?
When I love someone, I love with all I am
And to make things work, I'll do whatever I can
Loving someone... is easy to do!
Making a relationship work, requires the efforts of two.
I guess it was to much, or she didn't have the time
Maybe she got tired of just being mine?

All that is certain, is this is killing me
Feeling this pain, that no one can see.
I can't find the strength, to get out of bed
I can't get her beautiful face, out of my head
I can't move on, if I can't even move
How could his happen? Loves not something you lose
Kicked to the curb, she didn't bat an eye...
And she couldn't even tell me, the what or the why.
So this pain that I feel, is all that is left...
Of the love I have for her, until my last breath!!!

©Paul Posney 10/27/2016

'

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Unity

Folder: 
Simple Thoughts

"Tragic, 

tragedy can be, 

with repeating sounds of words, 

or screams and cries;

 

pain is a universal language.

Everyone knows it, 

this I believe. 

But,

 

even then, there's plenty

of discontent for which has and has not

been felt, 

as though suffering is to be measured.

 

I've seen it, you have, too, 

the pain of the neighborhood, 

tires slashed throughout, 

just another siren,

 

crying, 

at my end of the city. 

Such a pity, and then

the loud clash

 

of the car crash, 

one having smashed into the other,

and in this moment of pain, 

this tragedy,

 

comes unity, 

Humanity.

The unprovoked question

of the desire of assistance,

 

the rush to the scene 

seen by me

of the people who live on this block, 

calming the sobbing mother,

 

bringing the young ones out from the cold, 

the old man sweeping the broken glass,

no police having arrived yet.

Yet, nothing but pain

 

bringing us together, 

celebrating that everyone is okay.

 

Silver lining, 

pain unites,

every little thing

is going to be all right,

 

the radio said so."

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I recently was invited to be part of my local Lululemons UNTITEd States campaign, and I had such a blast. This is my poem for the them "unity", aptly named.

Home

Verse1: 

Home - A Timeless Reverie (a figment of my dreams) 

Though you're gone forever (rest in peace) 

I still truly believe in us and our love 

Everlasting scenes, it's constantly playing on my mind 

 

Verse2: 

I feel the sun blinding my eyes 

It shines brightly while 

Running into our veins 

Best be sure this is an everlasting moment 

 

Bridge: 

Show me where to go from here 

If I could turn back time (turn back time) 

I found the grace and love in your eyes 

Your smile still comforts me to this day 

(I won't have to live in fear) 

 

Chorus: 

Home - a timeless reverie 

If I could turn back time, you gave me peace, love, joy, and hope 

God grant the same peace, love, hope, and grace in our lives 

Our lives - where does the time fly? 

 

Verse3: 

What shall I do? 

How shall I proceed?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A song I wrote back in 2014 while in a group home in Orange County, CA.