Pain

i can tell tales of woe

I can tell tales of woe

By Jfarrell

 

I can tell tales of woe

Make you cry

Make you hurt

Make you wish

Things I won’t mention.

 

I can tell tales of destruction

I lit the match

Didn’t mean to, but,

Ashes, ruins, the stench of wet smoke,

How many of us are HERE? Right now?

 

But, I so wish..

 

Tales of hope I can do,

I know I need hope;

Tales of encouragement I can do,

I definitely need that.

 

You,

All of YOU!

Will have to help me with

Tales of love,

I haven’t enough to remember

To recall,

To visualise,

To connect with the feelings…

An experience,

I must have had

Long ago

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

if you like my stuff enough to read, thank you

don't know waht else to say

i long to...

I long to….

 By JFarrell

 

I long to

SCREAM

Let it out, let it all out;

Pain, anger,

Just plain old

Frustration

I so want to

Let it out.

 

I long to

fall in love

To love another totally, absolutely

and be loved back

To be held

Close

Tenderly.

 

I long to

Be a better person

Not this stupid, waste of space;

Maybe

If I were a better person

I wouldn’t have to

Long to….

 

And

I am

So

Trying

 

 

(may you all have beautiful rainbows in your life)

 

(and beautiful dragons too)

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

what do you long to.....?

I used to be happy.

I used to be happy
Now I don't know what that is
I was a child when everthing went to shit
Two deaths in the family 
And then a friend died 
My mother's boyfriend turned abusive 
I now have scars to hide
Self-harm I started to help with the pain
Until my hand slipped and I had to go to the ER
I was forced to see a therapist 
And things started to get better
Until the day my mothers friend 
Someone like a brother
Decide to see if he liked children 
Everything came crashing back down 
I had a major break down 
My self-harm started back up 
My therapist I quit 
School I stopped going 
I just laid in bed 
Trying not to think 
Two years have passed since then 
My self-harm I stopped 
I go out now 
I even have friends
But i'm not happy
To many scars
Both physical and mental 
Will stop me from ever being happy.

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Pain

Folder: 
Haqueian Verse

Pain,


As a foe,


Gifts miseries,


In body and,


Brain!


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tags:

Baked potatoes and regret

i long for your comfort 

but dare ask not. 

I long for your attention

but give instead of got. 

 i must escape for sanity

reality crushes too harsh 

so instead i just retreat  

To the bites and Pages 

savoring the comfort, however meek

refusing to ask you

i seek to comfort myself

alone, with baked potato regrets. 

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Daily Routine

I sing as the blade parts my flesh.

Why am I doing this?

Been longing for this pain; don’t know what I gain but I love it.

Please stop.

So memorizing and erotic, stimulating and euphoric. The tingle is tantalizing – it makes me quiver and my spine shutter.

Last time.

Keeps me from shooting myself. I don’t know how to escape the nightmare that living has become.

God I need help.

 

 

 

 

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Deprivation

Folder: 
Haiku

I can't figure out,

My emotions are a mess.

Laugh, cry, scream or die?

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Prophetic Nightmare

This anger inside has rattled my cage

I hide it in a bottle labled rage

I;m sick of its tormenting lies

As it pokes and prys

And searches for a release

It begs pretty please

I keep telling it no, but it gets harder with time

I grab a bottle of tequilla and fuck the lime

I drown my sarrows and shatter my memories

With this broken bottle I sever my arteries

Laying there feeling guilty, I let my soul leave

I sigh and mutter, I just wanted one to believe

My blood's thickening, please just cauterize

'Cause in my final thoughts I finally realize

I take a breath and start to fight

Don't give up, I can see the light

My wife and kids are there crying

Please stop, I'm not dying

Then I hear them praying a prayer

As I look down at my cold dead stare

Laying in my coffin, I know it's too late

But, then I wake up sweating, It's not my fate

I roll over to kiss my wife

She's not there, is this still my life?

FUCK

Fuck this world, fuck this life, fuck you if you give me strife

I don't care, I don't wanna care

This world is doing nothing but leaving me bare.

Tell me, what's stopping me,

from grabbing this blade, cutting, and watching me bleed?

You don't care, so why should I?

You'll just walk if you see me die.

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