No Regrets

If I could I would beat your


fucking face in


No regrets


Do the time in jail


and i'd probably do it all over again


that's how much I fucking hate you


all those tears I cried and nights


I stayed up wondering why


that shit's dead


You never gave a fuck


it was clear


You beat my freaking heart in


and now I want your life to end


do the time in jail


and i'd do the shit all over again


No regrets


You played with my heart and my mind


now I want your soul to jump out and cry


I want you to stay up wondering why


and eventually you'll know exactly why


You knew you wasn't shit


Wanna watch you take you last breath


do the time in jail 


and i'd do it all over again


No regrets


but your lesson was learned. 



Author's Notes/Comments: 

-No Mercy, for every action has a consequence. 

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Into the Depths of Chaos

I slip into an onyx dream
darker than any decaying thing
From the void trying to fill the void
Like Erebus I too am born of Chaos
-unraveling in a mist of dissonance
The silken noose tightens
I am cast into my own Spellhold-
cursed and forgotten
Pain is a welcomed refuge
Lest the 'stars hide their fires'
I will burn into a blacken ember

The hour of silence beckons
Echidna coils her fiery despair
Round and round, over and over
A mother's love- her beautiful poison
And sinks her fangs while
begging for absolution

I sink below the slithering surface
where nighmares wash away the sadness
There is no peaceful passing
She carves her scars into her child's heart
And only with her blessing does she allow any healing

I slip further into the tangled madness
caught on layers of dissension
The steady beating of despair
is slowly creating a new heir
She shows you the horizon
She tells you it is near
Then she swims in self delusion
all while drowning others with her fear

I close my eyes, I open them wide
Inside a sleepless mind, the quiet
is a beautiful lie
Like it or not I have to choose-
To descend further into a watery grave
or tighten the noose 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

**My relationship with my mother can be quite...tumultuous**

View furiousice's Full Portfolio


If life was like a letter

And reality a dream

If love was somewhat better

Alive but less extreme


If the past was dead and rotten

And Death was just a door,

Then I could bear your loving scars

For now and evermore

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He grabbed her from behind

Pushed her to the floor

Called her worthless

Until she believed it herself

Rolled up his sleeves 

Smirked at her frightened state

He beat her until she wept for her life

She was his submissive wife 

Uneducated and weak

He belittled her 

Until her only way out was death


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Forgotten Son

Forgotten Son

   By jfarrell

(inspired by a Marillion classic)


I got taken into Care when I was 11;

Mum and dad visited once,

Then couldn’t be bothered to visit again;

At 14, I stopped visiting them.


At 19 I visited, what a mistake that was;

24 was the last time I went back;

And, at 49, I will never see my mum again;

I won’t put myself through that rejection, that hurt.


I am the Forgotten Son;

Not prodigal; not lost, mislaid;

A dozen times a day I must think of my mum;

I doubt she’s thought of me once in the last 25 years.


I should be more forgiving;

I should be the better person;

But I prefer to remain the Forgotten Son;

Invisible; never born; nothing but a bad dream.




Author's Notes/Comments: 

i should be more forgiving - i choose not to be

Please, don't love me

I have more love to give you

Love you could never give back

I have a dark secret I hide

Its if you try love me I'll be selfish, greedy and tell u you lie

At first I'll be fine, and say I don't mind

"I'm just more affectionate but I'm happy you try"


But please, don't love me, I'm selfish and cruel

"why won't you kiss me like I wanted you to"

It because you lie and you don't love me do yoi


You say alot, and try show me you do

But I know that you don't, do you think I'm a fool


As time goes on, you will distance yourself.


I'll hurt you for love that I know you can't give








you Love me , remember


now this part I hate, because this is the truth

I'm voilent , I'm nasty

I'm selfish,  I'm cruel

I hate me so much..And I hate u still love me as much as u do



I beg you. 


Don't love me

Cause one day will come when you will hate me so much

for what I've become

My heart will be broken, and yours will be to

I love you 

I hate me

Now you hate me to




Author's Notes/Comments: 

First poem I think it's a poem

I honestly lost the one last good thing in my life because I wouldn't believe that I deserved it.

And truth is.

I don't think I did

Unwanted - I am a constant reminder of your pain

Unwanted – I am a constant reminder of your pain


She gave birth to a beautiful little boy

No pain, no sadness, all he brought was pure joy

A new life into this world, for her to love and to hold and call your very own

Her biggest wish was to have more children, her little boy’s clone


Pity she didn’t know that it would be her biggest woe

A horror memory engraved in her heart and soul, a memory she will never be able to let go

If she knew, would she have still gone through following her heart’s desires?

I don’t believe so, and those who do, are all liars


Two years later she couldn’t wait for the birth of her second baby

This time around, she expected a little girl, but the wait was driving her crazy

This little baby just didn’t want to let go and come out to bloom

Two weeks late after the due arrival she decided to leave the womb


Excruciating labour pains for hours is all she felt

Tears streaming down her cheeks while screaming in agony for help

Instead of giving her a caesarean, or calling a doctor, she was told to be silent

The little new-born girl was coming out bridge, large, but no giant


The new-born tore her open from side to side

She lost so much blood giving birth, she could have died

Nurses took the baby and called the doctor

Who only arrived a day later and simply gave her pain killers, his carelessness shocked her


She didn’t want to see or hear her new-born for days

This little baby girl left her in a constant daze

The baby was to blame for her pain

The baby was to blame that she may never have babies ever again


The baby was to blame that she was left alone in a pool of blood

To scream and suffer with so much tears, almost causing a flood

With no one there to ease her pain, no doctor, no friend, no husband, left alone in vain

The baby was to blame for her dismal future which will forever remain


Yet, days later she called this child ‘’Desire’’

Funny, that one’s biggest desire could turn out to be your biggest heart’s regret fire

For this poor baby girl was once wanted

But once she greeted this world, she was immediately unwanted


Weeks passed, months passed, she loved and cared for a baby girl

But in her mind, she was always reminded of the hell she caused her, this little pearl

Decades passed, the baby grew older into a young precious lady

But still, she could not forgive and forget, she had to tell this child what she did to her as a baby


When the child reached her mid-twenties she decided to tell her of the birth from hell

And confessed that she didn’t want anything to do with her for days after the painful spell

She decided to tell her because the child suffered from depression

Showed signs of a cold heart and unlovable, unwanted, signs of death obsession


But her confession didn’t change the child’s behaviour

What was done to the new-born decades earlier will leave a lasting scar forever

The feeling of being unwanted, left alone and unloved, no matter how long

That loneliness and empty feeling the child will always carry that burden along


It almost seemed to make her happy, taking revenge on her own child, maybe

To remind her daughter on a regular basis of the pain she had caused her as a baby

The regrets that she carries for giving birth and wanting a second child

The regrets that she has still grows very deeply and wild


This baby is now 40, and it is me

Three weeks until I turn 41 I was reminded yet again of all the pain I caused her, she is still not free

If I am so unwanted, a constant reminder of your pain

Why then, does God not take me away from your again?


Why can’t I just die to ease your horror memories and unforgettable, forgivable pain?

Why does God keep me on this earth in your presence if all you want is revenge over again?

You want to get me back for what I did to you in your womb

You want to hurt my heart and health as much as you can to revenge your pain memories until my doom


Once Wanted

Became Unwanted

I am a constant reminder of your misery and pain


Why must I be alive? Why does God not take me away? What do you have to gain?

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Remembered not

He was chained in the depths hell

Surrounded by the realm of sin

He was left for dead

Nobody heard his screams

He had no love nor life 

Broken he was beyond repair

He breathed his last breath

Nobody noticed his absence

He faded into oblivion 

The earth engulfed his body 

Until he existed no more

He was never remembered

No one cared 

So he became Death





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A Hole: Pain Through The Brain


I woke up,

In the mirror I had my closeup.

There was a hole in my throat,

Fastly I slipped into my coat.


I went to the hospital,

I was worried I recall.

I gave the fault to Abra,

Who was able to the macabre.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

A dream I had.

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