If I could I would beat your
fucking face in
No regrets
Do the time in jail
and i'd probably do it all over again
that's how much I fucking hate you
all those tears I cried and nights
I stayed up wondering why
that shit's dead
You never gave a fuck
it was clear
You beat my freaking heart in
and now I want your life to end
do the time in jail
and i'd do the shit all over again
No regrets
You played with my heart and my mind
now I want your soul to jump out and cry
I want you to stay up wondering why
and eventually you'll know exactly why
You knew you wasn't shit
Wanna watch you take you last breath
do the time in jail
and i'd do it all over again
No regrets
but your lesson was learned.
I slip into an onyx dream
darker than any decaying thing
From the void trying to fill the void
Like Erebus I too am born of Chaos
-unraveling in a mist of dissonance
The silken noose tightens
I am cast into my own Spellhold-
cursed and forgotten
Pain is a welcomed refuge
Lest the 'stars hide their fires'
I will burn into a blacken ember
The hour of silence beckons
Echidna coils her fiery despair
Round and round, over and over
A mother's love- her beautiful poison
And sinks her fangs while
begging for absolution
I sink below the slithering surface
where nighmares wash away the sadness
There is no peaceful passing
She carves her scars into her child's heart
And only with her blessing does she allow any healing
I slip further into the tangled madness
caught on layers of dissension
The steady beating of despair
is slowly creating a new heir
She shows you the horizon
She tells you it is near
Then she swims in self delusion
all while drowning others with her fear
I close my eyes, I open them wide
Inside a sleepless mind, the quiet
is a beautiful lie
Like it or not I have to choose-
To descend further into a watery grave
or tighten the noose
If life was like a letter
And reality a dream
If love was somewhat better
Alive but less extreme
If the past was dead and rotten
And Death was just a door,
Then I could bear your loving scars
For now and evermore
He grabbed her from behind
Pushed her to the floor
Called her worthless
Until she believed it herself
Rolled up his sleeves
Smirked at her frightened state
He beat her until she wept for her life
She was his submissive wife
Uneducated and weak
He belittled her
Until her only way out was death
Forgotten Son
By jfarrell
(inspired by a Marillion classic)
I got taken into Care when I was 11;
Mum and dad visited once,
Then couldn’t be bothered to visit again;
At 14, I stopped visiting them.
At 19 I visited, what a mistake that was;
24 was the last time I went back;
And, at 49, I will never see my mum again;
I won’t put myself through that rejection, that hurt.
I am the Forgotten Son;
Not prodigal; not lost, mislaid;
A dozen times a day I must think of my mum;
I doubt she’s thought of me once in the last 25 years.
I should be more forgiving;
I should be the better person;
But I prefer to remain the Forgotten Son;
Invisible; never born; nothing but a bad dream.
I have more love to give you
Love you could never give back
I have a dark secret I hide
Its if you try love me I'll be selfish, greedy and tell u you lie
At first I'll be fine, and say I don't mind
"I'm just more affectionate but I'm happy you try"
I LOVE YOU, I MEAN IT, NOTHING COULD BE MORE TRUE.
But please, don't love me, I'm selfish and cruel
"why won't you kiss me like I wanted you to"
It because you lie and you don't love me do yoi
You say alot, and try show me you do
But I know that you don't, do you think I'm a fool
As time goes on, you will distance yourself.
I TOLD YOU! DONT LOVE ME! IM TELLING THE TRUTH
I'll hurt you for love that I know you can't give
ITS YOUR FAULT IM LIKE THIS
U THINK THAT YOU TRY
ILL NEVER FEEL LOVED
FUCK U GO DIE
UR SELFISH, GREEDY AND ALL YOU DO IS LIE
I JUST WANT TO FEEL LOVED. BUT I JUST MAKE YOU CRY
DONT SAY YOU CANT DO THIS,
you Love me , remember
HA
now this part I hate, because this is the truth
I'm voilent , I'm nasty
I'm selfish, I'm cruel
I hate me so much..And I hate u still love me as much as u do
I LOVE YOU, REALlY I DO
I beg you.
Please
Don't love me
Cause one day will come when you will hate me so much
for what I've become
My heart will be broken, and yours will be to
I love you
I hate me
Now you hate me to
Unwanted – I am a constant reminder of your pain
She gave birth to a beautiful little boy
No pain, no sadness, all he brought was pure joy
A new life into this world, for her to love and to hold and call your very own
Her biggest wish was to have more children, her little boy’s clone
Pity she didn’t know that it would be her biggest woe
A horror memory engraved in her heart and soul, a memory she will never be able to let go
If she knew, would she have still gone through following her heart’s desires?
I don’t believe so, and those who do, are all liars
Two years later she couldn’t wait for the birth of her second baby
This time around, she expected a little girl, but the wait was driving her crazy
This little baby just didn’t want to let go and come out to bloom
Two weeks late after the due arrival she decided to leave the womb
Excruciating labour pains for hours is all she felt
Tears streaming down her cheeks while screaming in agony for help
Instead of giving her a caesarean, or calling a doctor, she was told to be silent
The little new-born girl was coming out bridge, large, but no giant
The new-born tore her open from side to side
She lost so much blood giving birth, she could have died
Nurses took the baby and called the doctor
Who only arrived a day later and simply gave her pain killers, his carelessness shocked her
She didn’t want to see or hear her new-born for days
This little baby girl left her in a constant daze
The baby was to blame for her pain
The baby was to blame that she may never have babies ever again
The baby was to blame that she was left alone in a pool of blood
To scream and suffer with so much tears, almost causing a flood
With no one there to ease her pain, no doctor, no friend, no husband, left alone in vain
The baby was to blame for her dismal future which will forever remain
Yet, days later she called this child ‘’Desire’’
Funny, that one’s biggest desire could turn out to be your biggest heart’s regret fire
For this poor baby girl was once wanted
But once she greeted this world, she was immediately unwanted
Weeks passed, months passed, she loved and cared for a baby girl
But in her mind, she was always reminded of the hell she caused her, this little pearl
Decades passed, the baby grew older into a young precious lady
But still, she could not forgive and forget, she had to tell this child what she did to her as a baby
When the child reached her mid-twenties she decided to tell her of the birth from hell
And confessed that she didn’t want anything to do with her for days after the painful spell
She decided to tell her because the child suffered from depression
Showed signs of a cold heart and unlovable, unwanted, signs of death obsession
But her confession didn’t change the child’s behaviour
What was done to the new-born decades earlier will leave a lasting scar forever
The feeling of being unwanted, left alone and unloved, no matter how long
That loneliness and empty feeling the child will always carry that burden along
It almost seemed to make her happy, taking revenge on her own child, maybe
To remind her daughter on a regular basis of the pain she had caused her as a baby
The regrets that she carries for giving birth and wanting a second child
The regrets that she has still grows very deeply and wild
This baby is now 40, and it is me
Three weeks until I turn 41 I was reminded yet again of all the pain I caused her, she is still not free
If I am so unwanted, a constant reminder of your pain
Why then, does God not take me away from your again?
Why can’t I just die to ease your horror memories and unforgettable, forgivable pain?
Why does God keep me on this earth in your presence if all you want is revenge over again?
You want to get me back for what I did to you in your womb
You want to hurt my heart and health as much as you can to revenge your pain memories until my doom
Once Wanted
Became Unwanted
I am a constant reminder of your misery and pain
Why must I be alive? Why does God not take me away? What do you have to gain?
He was chained in the depths hell
Surrounded by the realm of sin
He was left for dead
Nobody heard his screams
He had no love nor life
Broken he was beyond repair
He breathed his last breath
Nobody noticed his absence
He faded into oblivion
The earth engulfed his body
Until he existed no more
He was never remembered
No one cared
So he became Death
I woke up,
In the mirror I had my closeup.
There was a hole in my throat,
Fastly I slipped into my coat.
I went to the hospital,
I was worried I recall.
I gave the fault to Abra,
Who was able to the macabre.