christmas

All I want for Christmas (adult content rated R)

CHRISTMAS POEM (LOL)

 

All I want for Christmas, is you naked in my bed

Not you as just a fantasy, that's only in my head.

I want to explore your body, yes every single spot.

Because you are so beautiful, and so sexually hot.

I want to kiss your lips, and kiss you on the neck

And make you so damn horny, you cant wait to get me into bed

I want to squeeze your titties, so firm and yet so soft,

I want to go down on you, until I get you off.

You are the present, I want on Christmas day

The woman I make love to, in every possible way

You are the present, I want as my Christmas gift.

The present I wake to find, that I can play all day with.

I want to take your clothes off, like the wrapping on a present

I promise if you let me, you'll find it will be pleasent.

So... do you think,  that Santa, will grant me my only wish

I promise we can have a good time, and enjoy some sexual bliss!!!

All that it would take, is for you to just agree

For you to decide, you want to have sex with me!!!

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS 

PAUL (ChryWizard) POSNEY 12/24/2019

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this for humor, because after all..

. isn't this what all guys want for christmas??? LOL

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Evergreen in Her Purse

 

 

She had pine

needles in her purse to take the edge off

Christmas. She held them for the memories

she didn’t own, but could pluck out of movies

like pine cones out of the snow to make ornaments —

decorated with bits of glitter, a bow

to represent a touch of hope. I would pull her close

and tell her she didn’t need the needles to feel something

as tangible as the snow on the ground. Fleeting

cold was meant to leave us

for the warmth of memories we could make on our own.

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15 Reasons Not To Kill A Tree For The Holidays

 


 

Over 81% of those who have holiday trees have ones they can use year after year and not axed trees.

 

1. Massive tree cutting is the single biggest cause of global climate extremes, drought, fire. Each average sized tree evaporates 42 gallons of moisture daily becoming mist, then clouds, then rain.

 

2. Many parks and fields have been totally stripped of fir trees by those who have axed them so that they may slowly die in people's living rooms. The result is forests with no evergreens.

 

3. Raccoons, squirrels, birds, beehives and butterflies are smashed or evicted when the trees are axed.

 

4. Pine trees with dry needles coming into contact with hot electric lights are a cause of fire

 

5. Needle cleanup is a timewasting chore.

 

6. Trees can easily be toppled by crawling babies or playing children, endangering them. Dogs and cats are sometimes confused smelling the outdoor fragrance of dead trees sometimes urinate on or under them.

 

7. Trash pick up of dead trees is expensive and an energy waste for cashstrapped municipalities

 

8. Landfills are clogged by the tree carcasses. Their replacement landfills create even more deforestation.

 

9. In terms of very large trees, lumberjacks have one of the 5 most dangerous occupations in the world.

 

10. USA Today reported that of 95 million households with a tree, 81% of the homes have an artificial one.

 

11. Numerous studies by Chandra Bose, inventor in the 1890's of the radio which he demonstrated in 1895 as well as Luther Bank, researcher recorded in the book The Secret Life Of Plants etc. indicate trees have feelings and should not be killed.

 

12. Trees were not axed for Christmas until the 16th Century in Germany. Queen Victoria brought the tradition to England.

 

13. Small eggsacs of spiders or bugs can come into the home unobserved on the branches. In the warmer house temperatures they can hatch out.

 

14. Artificial trees save a lot of money

 

15. The trees take years or decades to grow. They are killed for a few days to 1 month display.

 

Let the green Christmas trees
unmolested in the forest be.


Footnote:

 

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/12/11/fake-christmas-trees-more-popular-real-people-year/924980001/

 

Thank you to J Bohannon for the eggsac story.

15 Reasons To Avoid A Dead Holiday Tree At Home

Folder: 
Plant Rights

*

15 Reasons Those With Holiday Trees Should Make Them Permanent Ones, Not Axed Dead Trees

 

 

Over 81% of those who have holiday trees have ones they can use year after year and not axed trees.  In 2020, massive fires by cattle ranchers in the Amazon rainforest, in Australia, in California, Colorado, and much of the US West, etc. have destroyed zillions of trees.

 

1. Massive tree cutting is the single biggest cause of global climate extremes, drought, fire. Each average sized tree evaporates 42 gallons of moisture daily becoming mist, then clouds, then rain.

2. Many parks and fields have been totally stripped of fir trees by those who have axed them so that they may slowly die in people's living rooms. The result is forests with no evergreens.

3. Raccoons, squirrels, birds, beehives and butterflies are smashed or evicted when the trees are axed.

4. Pine trees with dry needles coming into contact with hot electric lights are a cause of fire

5. Needle cleanup is a timewasting chore.

6. Amazon wants $115 for an axed tree, whereas artificial trees are good year after year.

7. Trash pick up of dead trees is expensive and an energy waste for cashstrapped municipalities

8. Landfills are clogged by the tree carcasses. Their replacement landfills create even more deforestation.

9. In terms of very large trees, lumberjacks have one of the 5 most dangerous occupations in the world.

10. USA Today, itself a deforester, reports that of 95 million households with a tree, 81% of the homes will have an artificial one.

11. Numerous studies by Chandra Bose, inventor in the 1890's of the radio which he demonstrated in 1895 ,several years before Marconi Luther Bank, research recorded in the book The Secret Life Of Plants etc. indicate trees have feelings and should not be killed.

12. Trees were not axed for Christmas until the 16th Century in Germany. Queen Victoria brought the tradition to England.

13. Small eggsacs of spiders can come into the home unobserved on the branches. In the warmer house temperatures they can hatch out.

14. Dogs and cats are sometimes confused smelling the outdoor fragrance of dead trees sometimes urinate on or under them.

15 Other holiday tree killers are Chritmas cards, wrapping paper, unrecycled cardboard. Yet 100% recycled, cotton, rice

   options are available.

The Hallmark Channel, Amazon, Bloomberg and CBS have promoted the killing of fir trees for the holidays.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2017/12/11/fake-christmas-trees-more-popular-real-people-year/924980001/

http://web.mit.edu/varun_ag/www/bose.html

 

saiom shriver

 

Thank you to J Bohannon for the eggsac story.

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Even When It's Not Christmas

Folder: 
2017

I will not tell you

what I want to

in this world

Talking like that is

laying myself

bare

such a steep hill

to start

 

When the words

open with a question

you can watch me

close

 

I don’t ask,

just wait,

maybe wanting

will make truth

 

but sometimes

when the wind blows

when the leaves fall

when the snow sticks

I don’t need questions or answers

when I’m this close to you

 

I could fall down at your door

I think I’d end up with

too many bruises

but I wouldn’t mind

as long as I can paint them on your wall

so your story knows

I was here

 

Sometimes that

silent crash

breaks the glass

around the world

 

The rustles say I’m a mess

but I’m a mess with you

under these Christmas lights

 

My heart is made of

answers that won’t break

The next time

it’s a dragon-cold night

I don’t have to tell you what I want

but I will still whisper it to the window

the fog will find your hands

and they will be around me

just when I need

 

and then the ground thaws

and you’re still here

 

you can’t know

how much that means

to me

 

Even when it’s not Christmas

I know there is someone

who loves me

I hope I can be that

 

for you

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 12/18/17

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error... error... does not compute christmas

Error..error.. happy Christmas?.. does not Compute…

By jfarrell

 

(happy xmas, seasons greetings to all)

 

The time for cheer…

The time for goodwill and happiness to all people…

A time for miracles?…

Perhaps….

 

Xmas is a time for families;

Xmas is a time for friends;

….……………………………………..

….…error!.. alert!…. error……. error…….. does not compute…… error…

 

 

Sorry, my bad, I forgot….

Just said ‘goodbye’ to my only friends…

And as for family…..

My sister DID phone me….

This year…..

 

When I started writing poetry…

And it upset her…

Stuff she’s already got over (?)

I bringing it all up again…

 

 

….Alert!… warning… programming malfunction….

 

Christmas….

The birth of Jesus…

The birth of Salvation…

 

….alert! Alert! Malfunction! Alert!…

 

“CODE RED!!!! WE ARE NOW IN CODE RED!!!!!!”

….(…. feeling a big kick up it’s ass…

The slug climbs up….

Into light, out of the ear lobe….

 

And heads for water…..

 

The biggest mass of moisture…

In the universe….

Jim’s gob!…..

 

With all the survival instincts of a dying virus…

Slug jumps and head dives into Jim’s gob…

…..

 

Good sir, please, what is today?

Why, it’s Christmas Day, sir….

Oh! Bless you, holy devout sire…

… I nearly missed it…

 

…..

I’ve lived and relived my christmasses past..

And my last….

Never noticed em like the 30 before

Drunk from my birthday and slept through them…..

 

….CODE RED!!!! EMERGENCY RESTART!!! CODE RED…

 

Choking and gagging…

Slug dives….

… and explodes…

…in a multitude of poisons…

 

“Here it is, Merry Christmas, everybody’s having fun….

“Should old acquaintance be for got….?

…...

Emergency reboot!…..

 

Tick, whirrr, tick, tick, sludge…….dead!

 

Tick…

Tick…

….whirrrr…tick… whir….

 

fidddlydeepdeepDIP!!!!

…black screen….

 

[ Start up protocols….

[press 1….

[press 2 …

[press…. ]

 

WHOOOPS!!!!!!

 

DON’T PRESS ANYTHING!!!!

JUST REWIND THAT LAST SONG….

…. So here it is…

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS, EVERYBODY’S HAVING FUN…

LOOK TO THE FUTURE NOW…

IT’S ONLY JUST…

…BEGUN…..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

merry xmas all

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Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas

By jfarrell

 

Happy Christmas to you all.

What does Christmas mean to you?

 

A red suited gentleman and his menagerie

Breaking into your home and eating all your mince pies?

A tinseled christmas tree

With a golden, silver-winged angel sat atop?

Sat around the dining table,

With several generations of your family?

Pulling crackers, carving and sharing the turkey;

Too much food and playing charades after dinner?

A baby born into poverty many years ago,

To grow, to be crucified for us?

Awake all night, too excited to sleep….

If I stay awake, even just one eye… I might see santa…

 

Whatever Christmas means to you…

The very merriest of Christmas’s and may the next year be your best yet.

 

And if, like me, you’re alone…

Or worse…

Sleeping on the streets…

And where-ever’s worse than that…..

 

Don’t give up!

You’re not alone, however much you feel you are.

Christmas is the time for miracles…

Don’t give up!

 

Happy christmas to you all and the best year ever!

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

a very very merry Christmas to everyone, and may this coming year be your best yet, in every way ;-)

Damn Christmas Bills

My wife makes me put up 3000 Christmas lights at our place.

We have the only house that can be seen from outer space.

When I get my electric bill, I always cuss and holler.

Those damn lights cost me over five hundred dollars.

My wife calls her relatives and they are all long-distance calls.

She doesn't phone just one or two relatives, she phones them all.

My wife sends expensive gifts to her relatives.

I'd like to shoot the person who said it's better to give.

My mother-in-law will get a Rolex watch.

But all that I'll get is a damn pair of socks.

I have to spend a lot of money at Christmas, it's pitiful how much I lose.

If you don't have to spend money at Christmas, I want to be in your shoes .

 

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