The doors of hope swing shut with hollow clang. The safety net unravels, a taunting haunt. Photo by Nastia Petruk on Unsplash
Caesura of the self
"Aut Caesar aut nihil."
– Cesare Borgia
Fractal Identity
I am - and yet - I am not what I was,
Vertigo of Existence
The vertigo of being - vicious, vast,
Echoes of Abandonment
The ears of power are deaf to my desire,
The Weight of Documentation
A mountain built of papers, proofs and pleas,
Economic Asphyxiation
The coffers clang with coin, a mocking choir,
The Narrowing of Options
The avenues of aid grow lean and gaunt,
The Final Calculation
Mercy in the Maelstrom
Release becomes the ray amidst the storm,
Quietus and Quittance
So let this be the denouement, the bow,
In the empty spaces between footfalls, we find the echoes of our departing selves.
Placeholder image made in Midjourney v5.2
Absolution in Ink -rewrite
I haunt these halls-
a shadow stitched to linoleum,
a footfall in the hush
before the bell.
Each step is a gauntlet,
each breath a blade
against the throat of morning.
I write in the dark,
a final flare,
a phosphor script
on the bones of night.
To you-
students, seekers,
I leave a map:
let knowledge
be your lantern,
let truth be your teeth.
To you-
creatures curled
in the crook of my arm,
I leave the rhythm
of my hands,
the scent of my sleeve,
the promise of a bowl,
a window cracked for sun.
I have walked
the splintered roads,
worn my shoes
to the quick.
The streets wait-
mouths open,
hungry for the softest thing.
I cannot feed you
to that hunger.
So I script my exit,
one last rebellion
against the cold machinery
of indifference.
If death is mercy,
let it be a rest.
Yet even as I fade,
I see you-
in rooms of laughter,
in arms that do not tremble.
Let this vision
be the balm
that steadies my hand.
Let these words
be my last decree:
in every line,
a piece of me breaks free,
to hover, to guide,
to light your way
when all else fails.
Amidst the onslaught of festive frenzy,
Neurodivergent minds reel a tempest here to sear.
Senses assaulted, relentlessly vexed,
Christmas chaos leaves us perplexed.
Masking's breaking, taking weight, a suffocating shroud,
Authenticity lost in the neurotypical crowd.
ADHD autism's ache, an adult's disgrace,
So, invisible struggles are present in this merry place.
Pain's persistent, pounding refrain, an endless score,
Fibromyalgia's claws, forever tore.
Spine curved like a question mark,
Vertigo's dance, a dizzying arc.
Poverty's clutch cuts deep, leave plans in disarray,
Opportunities vanish, like mist in the day.
Isolation, depression, chronic cursed alone,
In a world where bonds stretch, then are gone.
Trauma mars, leaves scars, rape's brutal seal,
cPTSD's tortures - terrors forever real.
Triggers flashbacks, a minefield within,
Clock tick-tocks, the night's wearing thin.
Passivity creeps in just like a mischievous elf,
A sinister spirit keeps us captive, steals our self.
Painfully forcing out a cry, on deaf ears they fall,
"You knew they wouldn't", it sneers, "more unanswered calls".
In despair's abyss, hope's flicker dies,
As the world rejoices, behind a joyful disguise.
Countless unseen battles and unheard cries,
Anguish, desperation, pain, do naked eyes lie?
To those who feign concern, a warning rings clear,
Your platitudes and neglect, a deafening sneer.
For in the depths of despair, a reckoning brews,
When the desperate depart, with nothing to lose.
In the sombre, silent night, when alienation reigns,
The psyche buckles, under the weight of its chains.
Remember, you who turned a blind eye,
The blood on your hands as the outcast dies.
So let the silence shatter, let the truth be known,
For the neglected and broken, forever alone.
May their memory haunt, may their absence resound,
A damning indictment, of the help never found.
Silently in the night, isolation's doom looms,
For those left to rot, in desolation's tombs.
A scourge on false kindness, on empathy's dearth,
As the forgotten depart, from this merciless Earth.
A warning to those who still pretend to care,
Of the anguish hidden, behind festive despair's lair.
Family friends forsaken in desolation's night,
Cast aside, ignored as time ticks on, year's plight.
In the silent night, a dirge ascends,
For those struggling, lost at the year's end.
Society's apathy, an unpalatable bitter pill,
Washed down with tears, we fade away against our will.
Let the silence break; let the truth be told,
Of the torment endured, the agony untold.
In summer's sweat, a reckoning should rise,
Power imbalances now, no escape our fate's demise.
May our ghosts haunt the whole season bright,
Reminding us of those for whom this time's a blight.
In the season's glare, coalescing shadows reign,
Numerous reasons, curses feeding this pain.
A moment of stillness, amidst the hurricane,
A flicker of self, in the endless pain.
Battered and bruised, yet still we stand,
In defiance of a world, that refuses to understand.
Whilst it is true, many times I have tried,
But for my animals, it is on me that they rely.
As night follows day and day follows night,
Dark forces frantically fighting, stealing my fight.
Hope's a medicine, both a curse and a sure cure,
Healing if repeatedly given - the source pure.
Decidedly dangerous, deadly, dangled as a prize,
Breaking faith's wraith, soon you and society they'll despise.
A pox on ableism, on empathy's lack,
As we vanish slowly, our lives off-track.
In the silent night, our requiem it plays,
The forgotten ones, left on birthdays and holidays.