Pain

We Dance

Folder: 
Spirituality

They say. “you’ve got nothing to give, if you give yourself nothing”

That’s the point of it.

There’s really nothing.

We are neither here, nor there.

There’s really no one.

We’re all just electrical expressions of life

Moving in time space

Breathing in air

Buckets of water

Cataclysms of emotion

Which is why I still care

Why I still want to show you…

every peace of me

I still want to give myself to you…

effortlessly

I still want to know you

with every moment that I breathe

 

You are who I am to be

You are who I choose

You are the one, the only one

You, my divinity, are the truth in me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Follow your intuition.

Qualities

If I talk about my 6 qualities,

they're not really much of an ability.

 

One of them might be that I obsess over everything,

but that's only because I am very settling.

Second could be that I am good at math and science,

but never could I ever seem to hold an appliance.

Now third comes next, the fact that I cheer people up,

and now that I think of it, it's probably because I'm such a crackup.

 

Those were my best traits,

including that I am very good with dates;

Yes, the one on the calendar,

I don't need to say the worse ones any louder.

 

My next 3 include me being annoying, 

because everything I do or touch, I seem to be destroying.

I also want to stop being so insecure,

or that I'm mean to my brother because I want a sister.

I always hate it when my family make fun of me,

so I always seem to be crying, unfree.

 

Those are all my traits from myself,

the lesson to be learning is to just be yourself!

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this poem back in 6th grade so I decided to post it here haha :)

Lifestyle Changes vs Medication When Each Is Right

Folder: 
Blog

At one point or the other, people decide to get serious with their health and require help with . But after making assessments in the usual manner, it is often easy to find that they aren't serious, committed or even motivated. While they may not seem like it, you often find that they miss medications even when they know they have chronic disease risk factors. For some they may have not tolerated the medications well and would need to explore other options.


 

The other options for such patients are quite readily available as different Associations and Organizations all recommend lifestyle changes such as weight control, exercise and diet as the first approach to lowering cholesterol. Such method is referred to as therapeutic lifestyle changes, TLC.

 

An emphasis has been placed on TLC by the American Diabetes Association for both the management and prevention of diabetes. Although medication is often used in the case of management. TLC has also been recommended by the Joint National Committee on Prevention, Detection, Evaluation, and Treatment of High Blood Pressure as the first and best methods for managing elevated blood pressure.

 

Even the American Cancer Society recommends TLC and it's evident that the dietary recommendations of these groups overlap. The emphasis in these recommendations is on foods that minimally processed, close to nature and rich in nutritional value. Foods like beans, fruits, nuts, vegetables, whole grains and many more. Weight control, regular physical activity at a moderate level that is one of the gradual results of being active and eating well are also part of the recommendations.

 

There is ample evidence to the fact that this basic approach really works when religiouslg followed. The Diabetes Prevention Program showed that TLC was about twice as effective as the use of the drug metformin in trying to prevent diabetes in high-risk individuals and essentially reducing its occurrence by 58%.

 

This shows that there is nothing radical at all in patients who are reticent about taking medications if they try to modify cardiometabolic risk using a lifestyle intervention. When you do this with the assistance of your doctor, the results are usually gratifying. You could lose credible weight by making sustainable and sensible changes to your physical activity patterns and diet. It is possible that the weight loss experienced at first may not reflect the gain of muscle and loss of body fat if you're exercising vigorously.

 

TLC usually won't work due to lack of follow through but works well enough when adopted well.

 

There is really no question in the scientific literature that body fat loss can seriously be more than weight loss in people who are exercising and gaining muscle. TLC works in a slower fashion when compared to statins or antihypertensives but at the end it is safer and more potent. Lifestyle can help to reduce chronic disease risk by almost 80% and no single drug can come close to that. But of course, medication should be used when TLC isn't bringing results as expected for any reason.

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I do

I do

 

 

Do you know what it feels like to have never been loved?

Do you know what it feels like to have never been liked?

Do you know what it feels like to hear the words, believing it, only to be bluffed?

Do you know what it feels like to feel liked, told you are liked, only to be able to get ‘’their’’ true intentions right?

 

I do

 

Do you know what it feels like to have your heart broken for 42 years?

The hurt never ever goes away, or fades, it stays

Do you know what it feels like to realize each and every time you’ve just been fooled, and tears…

Well the tears never dry up, it lasts for decades

 

I do

 

Do you know what it feels like to be used your entire life?

Do you know what it feels like to be the one who always has to heal, and help?

At your own emotional and financial loss, just to serve your purpose in life?

Do you know what it feels like to know, that you will never have anyone when you need help?

 

I do

 

Do you know what it feels like to only be viewed and desired as sexual object?

Do you know what it feels like to only be used and viewed as emotional help?

Do you know what it feels like to fall in love with the only outcome being: reject?

Do you know what it feels like to carry your Mother from birth knowing she didn’t want you, she wished you could just melt

 

I do

 

Do you know what it feels like to work your entire life only to survive?

Do you know what it feels like to be hated by most females, due to jealousy?

Do you know what it feels like to live with so much hatred from strangers just because you are alive?

Do you know what it feels like to try live your life in secrecy?

 

I do

Do you know what it’s like to know you will never be loved?

Do you know what it’s like to only attract lust?

Do you know what it’s like to know you will never be liked?

Do you know that my entire life, people lied, just to be able to satisfy their lust?

 

I do

 

Do you know what it’s like to know you were never wanted from birth, yet ‘’loved’’ because you are her slave, and your Mom can life a happy life and relive her youth through you and all boyfriends and dates who claims to love me even though it is just lust

 

Do you know what it’s like to know you are only ‘’liked’’ for the financial and emotional help you can be?

Only be liked because they lust after you?

Do you know what it’s like to be me?

 

I do

 

 Do you know what it is like to have your heart broken endlessly?

 

I do

 

Do you know what’s it’s like to think of a perfect way to commit suicide daily knowing what the rest of your life will be

 

I do

 

Marriage, engagement, true love, true friendships based on like –I will never experience

Death is imminent, and I pray that the day comes soonest, before I find my own way

 

Do you know how much pain my heart and soul can handle?

 

I do

 

It has reached the limit


Written by

Dlr

Solitary night

 
 
Solitary night
 
tears of dissatisfaction
 
choking on memories
 
a torrent as the dark presses in
 
Searching, seeking
 
the long-awaited slumber
 
of each miserable, useless regret of yesterday
 
Yet, afraid to face the uncertainty of tomorrow
 
 
 

It's getting harder...



It's getting harder to remember


what I was like


before I was damaged,


before you tore me open


and forced your darkness in.


I have tried to get it out


by opening my skin


but there is always more


left deep within.



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Please, End This

End things

Please

Tell me

You never meant any of it

Break my heart

And leave it in a million pieces

I will lay amongst them 

Wallow in my pity

Make me hate you

Destroy every ounce of my being

Leave my soul raw

Leave me even more broken

Please, end me

 

End this 

Make it so painful

That I never long to see your face again

Tear out my very being

Set it free with the other broken souls

 

Forget me

So I can forget you

Make me feel like you aren't special

Make me feel like I never mattered

Tell me you used me

That you just didn't want to be alone

 

Rip me apart

Tell me I'm nothing

Tear me so far down

That I can not rise again

I cannot take this pain

 

Please, just destroy me

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written: 2/21/2018

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Heaven or Hell

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

Heaven or Hell

Verse 1:

Through hell and back,
I’d spill out my heart to you.

Here, in our hearts

Are fragments of a heaven.

 

Chorus:

I spent my days fading away

Like your memories

Memories of us resurfaces.

The way I fell in love with you

Is all coming back to me now.

 

Verse 2:
Our safe haven: where has it gone?

With my eyes open,

I’ve been bruised, numbed, bent, and broken.

Can you help me carry on again?

 

Bridge:

Bury me.

Carry me.

Away, away, away.

Lead me to heaven.

 

Last-Chorus:

Anything but ordinary.

I followed you into the dark

Where the pain dissipates

 Into our bones.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Song written in 2014. One of many. Band lyrics.

Distance

Folder: 
To My Wife

I would say I miss you

But you no longer care

You left long before your body

And left me alone with yourself

 

I'm always thinking of you

Everyone says you aren't worth it

Maybe they're right...

But I thought you were

 

I wish we could be “us” again

But do I truly miss you

Or simply the relationship we had?

I guess I'll never know

 

You've kept me at a distance

So far I'd never reach you

Now I suppose I've finally decided

To stop trying