falling apart

*Once Again*

July.12/13.2011
Trisha M Barrek Hopkins

 

I gave you my heart
And you ripped it out of my chest
Now I'm in pieces
A total wreck falling apart
You're just like all the rest

 

Feed me lies no respect
God really made a fool out of me
I extremely failed the test
My heart he couldn't even protect
This guy was the best
He's the one that gave me the greatest pain

 

I thought I could be happy
But you from all the others
You were the brightest
You got me to believe all your lies
Instead of a sunny day
All I have are black clouds and rain
At night all I hear
Again are my cries
Once again I trusted you with my soul
All you left behind is this evil stain

 

My last hopes you stole
You capturing me in you web of distrust
Was your only goal
My only heartbeat that was left
To take it from me was your gain
You weren't here for love
You made me feel disgust

 

How could you feed me lines
Once again you got me to let down my wall
Entrapping me in your vines
Waiting in the background
In the shadows not making a sound
Watching and waiting for me to fall

 

When you seen your chance
You crept in like and ass
Skipping out on his rent
And captured my heart in your romance
Only to stay till your time was spent
Then you spun me in your dance

 

You quickly disappeared without a trace
You went through that door
Never again to see your face
You let go of me
To watch me crash to the floor
The pain you caused you didn't dare see

 

You came and took
What you wanted to take
You came and left without a second look
All along you were just a fake

 

Once again
I'm left alone
To pick up the pieces off the ground
My body turning to stone
May should God has almost found
I should of remained by my self
....All Alone!

 

Copyright*

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Seamstress

Folder: 
Poems

Split seams untangle the web I weaved

Releasing all the stories untold; havoc soon unfolds.

The walls built over the years, softening my fears

Crumble into ash and dust, all in one single thrust.

Not by violence or force; but by an act of remorse.

Shriveling under the weight of the web, a feeble yelp.

All it took was one word. Help.

Help it seemed was a sign of weakness, almost evil,

How can one ask to put pain on other people?

Now with the walls down, and the light shining in,

Strength is in numbers, we all share the same skin.

These walls weren't protecting, there is no enemy

Instead it was a prison, a trap-mentally.

With the web untangled and the barriers blown by the zephyr,

My fellow seamstresses will help weave this web back- together.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Finally getting the help I need.

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Family Portraits Only Capture Lies.

Folder: 
Depressed.

Lately Mom's been drinking

while laid up in her bed.

And dad looks overwhelmed

Like this is all over his head.

My brother keeps on stealing

and the little one is starting to follow.

Am I the only sane one?

With the chance of reaching tomorrow.

 

Sometimes I want to abandon them,

even though I know thats wrong.

But I can't keep dealing with this,

Its already been too long.

It doesn't even seem like we love each other

More like a resentful toleration.

And now I'm dipping into Momma's liqour supply

but only in moderation.

 

We used to seem pretty happy and normal

as we posed for a family photo.

Taken back before we started hitting rock bottom

that's back where I want to go.

Now Daddy's talking about he's leaving

and momma doesn't seem to care.

I wish I knew were he was going and so does he,

he'll figure it out when he gets there.

 

Sometimes I feel as though I can't hold them together

as if they're slipping between my fingertips.

Not caring that they are making us all cry

and ignoring the pleas from my lips.

Sometimes I wish I was so much stronger

So I could force them to stay.

But even I'm starting to realize that

This isn't where they want to be at the end of the day.

 

They're always fight about money

Constantly saying that we never have enough.

But even then family should stick together

When the road and life get tough.

People are always complimenting how we look happy

in pictures, imagine my surprise.

But I guess that they don't know

That Family Portraits Only Capture Lies.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Another Poem Inspired by a song.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hvpQsPKEwbw

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Behind The Smiles

She walks around with her head high.. her face, always full of smiles.
But if you knew her story and what she has been through, you'd see she really doesn't have a damn thing to smile about.
So beautiful and down to earth, you'd assume she's the kind of girl capable of driving a man crazy enough to have him walk a thousand miles..
But really, she has been hurt and deceived so many times that the most amazing thing about her turns out to be her refusal to pout.

With each downfall and heartbreak, she learns a lesson. She puts on her reluctant, yet beautiful smile and convinces herself that everything will be okay..
Still, you couldn't begin to imagine the countless hours she spends crying when she's by herself behind closed doors.
Sometimes, she even forgets what she's crying about as she looks around helplessly.. but of course, no one is ever present to wipe the tears away.
And as the tears continue to roll, she is then reminded of all the things going wrong in her life and well.. when it rains, it pours.

Before you know it, morning rolls around. She gathers herself, ready to start a brand new day, as she realizes she has once again cried herself to sleep.
Her overwhelming beauty is noticeable to possibly even the blind.. but still, every one fails to see the pain she carries inside her heart.
Poor girl.. no one understands. No one looks into her eyes long enough to see that she's once again ready to weep.
But maybe one day they'll look past her contageous smile and see that this is a broken girl, on the edge off falling apart.