Leaving

Realizing

Folder: 
2008

You are a man

Wide as the owl

Your wit and strength

Have not led you afoul

 

And yet there is so much

You cannot understand

Lots of little things

Your mind has banned

 

I understand now

What you don’t see

What you never realized

Was simply me

 

“I didn’t know, I didn’t see”

Are just excuses

This and many more

Have had their share of uses

 

Where does it end?

When do you awaken?

What do I have to do?

Why do I think your faken’

 

My love will always be true

But the time is now

To change this cycle

Want to know how?

 

You go your way

And I shall go mine

It’s time to go

And cross that line

 

I will always cherish you

We both need new starts

Time to part ways

Simultaneously breaking two hearts

 

~Chrystal

Written on

March 11, 2008

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Again, this one was to Paul. This was the last poem before I actually left him. There were poems after I left him but not that many. I now realize that he never got over me. We have been split for around three years now and he still is in love with me.

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Bittersweet

Folder: 
2007

I know you love me

And I do love you

Ohh so bittersweet

It’s never true

 

Sometimes the love leaves

How it hurts us so

Ohh so bittersweet

We’ve gone so low

 

Yearning for the good times

Aching through the bad

Ohh so bittersweet

All we’ve never had

 

This love isn’t real

Though I want it so

Ohh so bittersweet

Love and let go

 

~Chrystal

Written on

November 27, 2007

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was written about Paul. About my feelings toward him.

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Pain Release

Folder: 
2007

I am the walking wounded

My scars displayed for all

To plainly see

It’s clear to me now

That you’ll try so hard

To make me never free

 

I wanted you, I needed you

To hold me and make the pain

Just disappear from me

Yet now its obvious
The pain came from you

The blood helped me see

 

I saw my reflection

I saw the girl in me

Broken into so many pieces

I know now I must leave

It’s the only way

I’ll be better as the pain releases

 

~Chrystal

Written on

February 12, 2007

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written to Steve.

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Do You Feel Me?

Folder: 
2007

Here I sit

Trembling and crying

And I wonder why

Inside I’m dying

 

Do you want me

To feel pain

Do you need me

To hurt

 

On my knees now

I pleaded and I begged

To stop feeling

To be dead

 

Do you see me

Here at your feet

Do you feel me

Reach for you

 

Here I am

Here and now

There I’ll go

Bye and bye

 

Did you ever know

That I loved you

Did you ever think

I would leave you

 

And now its over

I’ve taken too much

Nothing will stop me

Not even god’s touch

 

~Chrystal

Written on

February 5, 2007

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was one I wrote to Steve.

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Walking Today

Folder: 
2006

I took a walk today.

I’m really sorry, Steve,

But I can’t take your shit.

So today I’m gonna leave.

I wanted to love you.

So why’d you make so hard?

You wanted to see me hurt.

Disappointment cuts like a shard.

You never wanted me gone.

Never a moment away from you.

Tie me up and lock me down,

You would if you could, wouldn’t you?

But now you’ve left me.

You’re sitting behind bars – in jail.

And I’m taking a walk today.

Never a moment will I wail.

 

~Chrystal

Written on

March 12, 2006

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one I know who I wrote it about, Steve and why, I was leaving him. We didnt break it off for about another month or two but it still says hpw I felt at the time.

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Short Goodbye

Folder: 
2005

I’m leaving today.

To find another someone.

To love me,

Like you used to.

 

That’s all I can say.

You and I are done.

This end has been coming,

I think you always knew.

 

~Chrystal

Written on

July 1, 2005

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This one was written to Steve. Our end didnt come right away but it was still an ending.

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tags:

Leaving

Folder: 
2001

I love him truly,

It is still in my heart.

Ever since the day we met;

The day that was our start.

 

Pain grew between us two,

Growing steadily worse day by day.

I still want to be with him,

Yet sadly, leaving is the only way.

 

Away from him I shall be,

Even though it will hurt me so.

But it shall be for the best,

Even if my heart does loudly woe.

 

~Chrystal

Written on

February 21, 2001 

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This was written during the break up period with Shawn.

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