Goodbye, old friend.


They say every goodbye leads to a new hello,


But I would rather have another one with you,


One more smile, one more hug, one more memory,


But now I must let you go,


Goodbye, old friend.




Goodbye, old friend.


I will never forget that out of control laugh,


The music we shared and the love that we had,


What I wouldn’t do to sing and laugh with you again,


Perhaps one day we can, but for now,


Goodbye, old friend.




Goodbye, old friend.


Remember those late night car rides?


Remember getting in and out of trouble?


Remember the fun that we had?


Because I will never forget…


Goodbye, old friend.




Goodbye, old friend.


I suppose this is the last goodbye,


The time has come, and I have moved on,


I hope one day we can change this,


And we can say hello once more, but until that day,


Goodbye, old friend.

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Break Like A (day 74)

Break like a fever,

never believe her,

sweet tongues and shivers,

swear to the sea


Break like the ocean,

set in slow motion,

pour me love potion,

arms around me


Break like a heartbeat,

addicted to bittersweet,

awake till our paths meet,

wish I couldn’t see


Break like a new day,

echo what I say,

don’t bet on yesterday,

go ahead and leave


Break like a bone would,

pain tears it’s so good,

don’t do what we should,

explode just like me


Break like a spotlight,

daydream at midnight,

kiss and kill out of spite,

I need something to scream


Break like a knife blade,

I’ll torch what you made,

disarm you as the lights fade,

what do you mean


Break like you broke me,

leave her as lonely,

kiss me to turn on me,

what do you need

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 10/9/16


Being unwanted feels like kneeling at the feet of the world kneeling at his feet (day 63)


want as much

charisma as you

have in the tip

of your pinky




then I’d be


Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 10/1/16


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Paper Village (day 23)

What do you see when you look at me?

A wide-eyed dreamer, a mess who adores you

I love the paper village you built for me

I step so blindly, you can lead me too


Like a child I wandered through paper rooms

Everything you said I read into

With wonder I trailed at your royal heels

Like life was perfect and the world was new


Where should we meet later tonight?

Innocent eyes, leave the room, fool me again

I don’t look down as I catch your footsteps

Your paper village hasn’t yet met its end


Now I wake up to fire, coughing alone

Now I stumble through flashes and flames

What do you see when you watch me choke?

Beginnings, endings, that’s life, the name of the game


Paper walls went up as I fell too fast

I touched, you talked, now it’s my turn

Our fragile village was beautiful

should have known how fast it would burn


Where did you think we were going?

I sprint headfirst through the ruins, no choice

Blind me and bait me, lock me up tight

You gave me an adventure so I lost my voice


What do you see when you look at me?

I loved the paper village you built for me

When we fell you set a bullet, lit a match

now I’m singed but you’re still not sorry

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/24/16

Paper village, bullet

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Half Asleep


We’re half asleep, can’t

fool me now, please

tell me if I’m right or wrong


We parry, thrust,

let me leave if you’re

going to keep slipping away


I see the light

at the top of the stairs,

maybe you left it on for me


But if my teasing ghost

flips the switch back and forth

let me go before I dive too deep


Wide awake, I’m swearing

and sweating off your touch

and everything sweet you ever told me


But you stay half asleep,

spending careless compliments,

throwing away everything I gave

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 8/4/16

Better Ending


For centuries after you left me

I left shoes and a sigh on the stairs

and every time I turn around

I’m still seeing you


From gardens to sidewalks to cities

your face is everywhere

and before I turn, in the corner of my eye

I swear I can see you smile


If my life is a book left unwritten

it’s you who’s holding the pen

If what we had was a broken mantra

I’m still singing it in my head


I’m trying to write something my own

but clichés keep slipping out…

there’s a reason for all those songs,

love is a light in the storm


For centuries after you left me

I kept wishing you’d come back around

because all the things we saw

don’t hold the same glitter without you


I know if I shout you’ll still be here

We can laugh and say the same words

I can follow you wherever you wander

but it’s not the same anymore


You tease me but lift her on your shoulders

and it’s even hard to hate her

It would be easier if I could be bitter

but I care enough to want her for you


I want you for her too, oh God how I miss us

the ease and the nights and shy smiles

And if you even give her half of what you gave me

it’s magic and mist and she’ll fall too


It would be easier if I could be bitter

I know it wouldn’t hurt this much

but I’ve been with you and

I’ve laughed with her


and I still still still love you both,

miss you more than you miss me

and all I can do with this heartbreak

is wish her a better ending.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written 7/23/16

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Final Stage

Disgust, anger, fear, denial, reason, acceptance, denial, acceptance, effort, total acceptance, disappointment, release, rebuilding. 


My love for myself must far exceeded all the misguided love I put in you. 

You were my happy space, my blue sky, my lover, and my confidant. 

But I wasn't your jack of all trades in love. 

For so long you were more important than me, to me. 

Then you hit the eject button on our roller coaster of love.  

To my rose colored glasses just as we were getting to another straight. 

In front of me, a hard, I meaneed diamond to safety scissors hard place. 

Behind me, the rock that held Excalibur. 

I had my hands prime to free that sword for so long...

Little did I know it would soon become the weapon lodged deep into my heart. 

My king of a broken kingdom...How fitting is that title?

I thought I failed my son by allowing his vision of a 2 parent filled home to be snatched away. Should have tried harder but that takes two to tango.

Little did I know I was filling his eyes with deception and terrible renditions of a happy home. 

All bad? No not at all. 

No scars or abuse, as it would seem we just forced a round peg in a square hole at the wrong time stamp.

Trips down memory lane? Sorry we don't go that route anymore. 

You made it look so easy, and that ease killed me even more.

If I am ever to rebuild this dynasty it must be on new ground. 

The foundation we once had turned into a sinkhole the size of the Grand Canyon. 

We constantly defend ourselves against the other until we ended up on the attack without conscience effort. 

No fears my heart is trying to get the grand opening sign back up and lit. 

My mind wants to believe in a world that wouldn't just make me view love from a cage. 

No desperation here I can and will wait on my King! 

Until then I will clean my castle and fine tune my Queenly charm, so that it is ready to greet him royally upon his arrival. 


Author's Notes/Comments: 

It's alot and it's a bit of babbling, but it's my heart open for display. I loved, lost, and wish to love again one day much later. This is my healing process. 

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I only collect lost things

When I met you I asked if we could be friends

And you told me

"I only collect lost things."

I said I was lost se you took me in;

In to your arms and on to your skin.

I was no longer lost, you were my home.

Because of your love I was no longer alone.

I found refuge in your wings

So you threw me away

And you told me

"I only collect lost things."




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Holding My Pillows Close.


You know this story is far from over

It's not finished.. By long shot, my love 

Don't tell me you can't do this anymore 

I hope your happy.. And so much lovely 

Your still apart of me.. And still I'm 

nothing but a memory 


You know I want you to hold this cold hand

I know that you can't,Because you have someone else to come and hold you.. 

So I'll keep sleeping sideways in my bed so I, can fill this open space.. 

Because I can't, go on without you..       


I know that I'm by myself I can make it  and don't need you for something that couldn't be.. And fade away in the sun light..                                           

There's nothing special.. About the way you did things.. 


Never coming back.. 

You can't come back..


You know I want you to hold this hand..

I know that you can't Because you have someone else to come and hold you.. 

So I'll keep sleeping sideways in my bed so I, can fill this lonely space.. 

Because I can't, go on without you..

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm quite obvious it's more of a song then a poem so.. This is it I'll be posting more but was made me Gabriel Treadwell and all copyrighted. Thank you