Sleeping On The Rock

The winter winds whistle by from bay and sea, as if aggressively making love to one another much like we used to do. A memory that fades while a blackout swallows the light within me. The A train rumbles loudly and shakes the foundation of my home like your touch once shook my world. This stillness brings no rest. I get half asleep. Everything is done halfway now. I am half of what I once was. You were a Sandy-esque hurricane that blew me away only to leave me as scrap and rubble as I struggle to sleep on a Far Rock. 

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Love that never fades

Hello my love, not long it has been
I wish my love had died for it to be easier to wean
I messed up once and forever paid the the price
I guess you could say I always rolled the dice
It's like a game of blackjack it was all based on luck
but it was always worth the risk, I didn't give a fuck
I have thought and fought with love itself
The heartache is not good, it can mess with your health
Right at the start I had butterflies
Moments that I somehow, memorise
I wish you were back but i know its no more
Head and Heart fighting, it feels like a war
I know this means nothing but I love you
and I know that this is long overdue
But within my heart you will always stay
and this is a price I'll forever pay
One last word for my long living love
My heart and your heart fit like a glove
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bittersweet dream.

What was once a sweet dream

has become my nightmare


This reoccurring event of seeing you

is quite bittersweet


I don't know whether to be happy

or to be afraid


Because I thought I'd never see you again

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the best and the worst.

I don't know whether to call you the best 

or the worst thing that's happened in my life.


the thought of you popped into my head again

this morning about the memories we've shared,


but I was confronted with the truth.

the truth that you hid away from me for so long.


you cannot get mad at me for how I found out

you reap what you sow and you had it coming


I don't want to take you back at all... at all...

...God, this is so difficult. God, this is so tough.


I already knew this would happen, but even then

...I still love you.




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the words were the same

but each memory was different

yet all of them fufilled one thing:

a false sense of hope.


hopefully one day, 

someone will break of that tradition

and actually hold true to their words.

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♡ ÷ 2 =♥


It seems,

i have this habbit of

splitting into two.


A duality,

A longing of leaving



to a

comfortable mess.


Heart's no use!

Head's not right!

Love's not right!

Life's not right!

Torn heart

stuffed  down tight!

No one must know,

No one must know.



Choke, choke, choke.

Dont say a word,

Even when it gets too tight.

Know your place.

Look away,

Look away.

dont think.

Dont feel.

Dont say.


Hope, hope, hope,

It goes away...

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Im ok :)

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Oh, Captain

I knew that to love her was suicide, but my god her brokenness was beautiful,


A tragic mess who had learned to dance with her skeletons


She rocked to sleep those restless memories, held pain so close to her chest


Insomnia was her most reliable friend,

The emblem of their nightly charades displayed as mottled darkness beneath her eyes


She was a survivor when all others stayed victims

Her body a battlefield, littered with fading scars and the faint aroma of suffering

Both mingling with olive skin and sweet perfume


But survival is gorgeous


She didn't want love, didn't need a companion

Only a loyal captain to stand silent at the helm of her sinking ship


Never before did a gun placed to my temple feel so full of life

Truthful Tears

Just a thought!

Teardrops of sorrow have glistened our eyes

Droplets of dissapointment, seep out in cries

Stains of regrets leaving trails down our cheek

Emotions inside us, welling up till they leak

Some happy, some sad, the tears are the same

They may carry on, if feelings remain

We wipe them and hide them and cover our cries

But truth can't hide, from the tears in our eyes'

Author's Notes/Comments: 

"Truthful Tears"

Lesson Learned

It's a hard lesson to learn, 

What you think....
Everything you feel.
Doesn't matter one bit.
To someone who says,
You mean the world to them. 
When you'd move mountains for them, 
If you could.
Everything you do,
Everything you say,
Every move you make,
Is made with them,
And their feelings in mind.
Then their words sting like whips.
The intent is hard to miss.
Cutting like knives across your heart.
Carving the pain into your soul.
Leaving you scarred.
Believing you're not good enough,
It's too much to hope for to be happy.
It's too much to wish that you'd be loved. 
Fully and unconditionally accepted.
Wishing to be treasured.
That your heart would be held With care.
That you'd find a love,
Whose words are chosen wisely, 
Makes promises they keep. 
And whose love would soothe your wounded soul. 
So you stay here in silence,
Too wounded to move.
Too damaged to cry.
Afraid to speak...
You know what he'll say.
Too scared to leave.
No one would believe anyway....
Author's Notes/Comments: 

Was : It is what it is.


This is the 2nd version of this I have written. Not sure it's done......

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