# #life #suffering #sadness #pain #love #relationships

Reflection

 

I’m stronger today

I thought you should know

My heart ached for so long and the thought of not being with you

Made me feel small

But with this time away I can finally say

You had no right to my heart and you should have let it go

Instead you held it tight and made me feel like everything you did was because of me 

I drove you to it, you would often say

But always denied the obvious that you had some other chic you played with on the side

You would lie to cover up more lies, and you had no problem telling me you loved me. 

You had no problem still fucking me

But I knew, and I had a problem with what you were doing, I didn’t leave 

And I let you do it

I let you hurt me and

Each time, a little bit of me died

And til this day I’m still waiting on you

To be a man and tell me what you did, to be honest with me

I know you won’t

I know you think it was all okay

To make a stupid cunt out of me 

To make me feel so small and that I wasn’t good enough 

Not even for someone like you

You and your friends all had a good laugh at what an idiot I was hanging around 

I cooked, I cleaned and I gave you head and sex with you every single day and all I got from you and your kids was to be treated like shit but not anymore

See I decided I’m to good to be treated so cruelly

Especially from a guy like you

Those other girls didn’t have feelings for you

They laughed behind your back and took advantage of you 

So much harder than what you did to me

I wanted to believe so bad that it was me ultimately that you loved

That it was me that was the special one

But the last. One you tried so hard to replace me with

Well what can I say that one hit hard

So as you read this I hope you realise that by breaking my heart

And making me feel small

By making me the biggest joke

And taking from me all you could

Know that you never got the best of me

Cos the best of me is yet to come

When you lay there alone which I know won’t be for long I hope it hits you

Just what you’ve done

And everytime the new chick uses you and moves along 

Your life becomes more empty and you realise your the worthless one

And everyday I hope you think about me

Fighter

Folder: 
Love

You left me broken and scarred 

Unable to mend my heart 

After you threw me out all alone 

 

I guess that is your way 

Thank you to say 

But I am sure it's going to be okay

 

Lost and surrendered from your love 

Stronger and wiser is what I've become 

I will strive for greatness and greater things

I will fly and soar with those broken wings 

Far more stronger than you'll ever know 

If you come back just turn away and go 

I am fiercer 

I am stronger

Even when I'm missing you 

I am a fighter

Author's Notes/Comments: 

After losing love, or what's so called love, you must become stronger, become a fighter to grow and learn about yourself and learn to love yourself.

1

 

1

 

it started out quite innocently
not 0 from 0
just ... something
but it wasn´t long b4 1
was the natural selection
2 b hailed with jubilation
the logical calculation
a practiced, pollished, progress/able/predict/ion

 

not long b4 convent/ion
followed 1 by one by too by 2
the entire set through
naturally ...
up 2 + including
the # of the beast
+ ending just as suddenly
meticulously, methodically, mathematically
microscopically-
l/each for each

 

could we go back 2 the b(ginn)ing
b4 the set b4 the rule
b4 the Sun´s first array
without i#able transgressions
this #line´s a kind of
crucifixion
but 4 the counting

 

Sarcoma

There is a sarcoma in your heart
Cut them out, they're no good to you dead
It grew in before I could play my part
Then, lay your heart down in the sunflower bed

Cut them out, they're no good to you dead
It might spread to something you actually need
Then, lay your heart down in the sunflower bed
Hold my hand and we'll watch it bleed

It might spread to something you actually need
Only the heartless will survive
Hold my hand and we'll watch it bleed
Free of the burden to contrive

Only the heartless will survive
I don't want to, but I hate you
Free of the burden to contrive
You don't want to, but I made you

I don't want to, but I hate you
The sunflowers have wilted now
You don't want to, but I made you
The heart you gave let us down

The sunflowers have wilted now
It grew in before I could play my part
The heart you gave let us down
There is a sarcoma in your heart.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I put my recent heartbreak into words and this is how it came out.

Cold nights

I might be cool but

During summer,

The ice melts too.

May the lord give me patience,

Fore I feel needles deep in my chest.

May the God stand with me,

Showering strength to my weak.

Oh heart of mine! Hush 

It will be just fine.

You are not alone but

It’s a battle with the mind

In the night of no moon

No light but hope

a miracle I hold on to.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hello all! It has been a long time since I last

posted a piece of my work. This is something 

small but has a deep meaning to it.. please 

share with me your comment.

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Into the void

I hear the agony of your joy

Echoing in the vast silence of my heart

 

Passionate cry’s

Filled with hatred

For wanting my love starved soul.

 

Your aching pleasures

Sooth my pain

And lift the desires

Of my deep but inevitable regret

 

Pulling and pushing

The limits of our realities,

Obscuring the vision of our desperate journey

That leads us into the infinite abyss

Of our mortal lives

Two Years/Three Months

Two years

Three months

 

Two years of pathetic thirst and wanting.

Three months of undying care and yearning.

 

You choose a woman with questionable morals.

You gave up a woman with outstanding sense of morality.

 

You gave up on me because you needed a fresh set of legs and a warm bed to sleep in.

 

Time will never determine a strength of a relationship.

 

It’s all in the chemistry, connection, and how they make you feel.

 

Your selfishness and greediness consumed you, making you paralyzed to all things that are right and wrong.

 

You think you are winning.

 

But you are not.

 

You lost.

 

I won.

 

Run to You

Folder: 
Band Lyrics

 

 

Verse 1:

Right now, I want to

Run to you.

Press your lips against mine's

While holding you

In a powerful embrace.

So, won't you run to me?

 

Chorus:

Everything has changed.

I want to run to you.

If only you'd feel the same.

I want to run to you

If you know that

We are better together.

 

Verse 2:

I could not say that

We were better apart.

Right now, I want to

Run to you

And hold you in my arms.

Won't you take me home?

 

Bridge:

I am always here, waiting.

Even now, I am waiting...

Like a fool that 

Wants to run to you.

Won't you think of me

As I run to you?

Right now, is the right time.

I will run to you.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Hopeless romantic...

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Gas Station

Ripping out your heart,

cashing in the check,

trading in,

getting even

 

Paying the bill,

wiping away the debt,

no more pain,

no more fret

 

Turn in your sex,

that's all you have,

to better pastors I roam

a free man

 

Opening my can,

you tried to spill out all

the contents into the sink,

but I resisted, I made bank

 

You left me with an empty tank,

in the middle of knowhere;

it was a long walk to get to the gas station

to come home again